(no subject)
Ugh. Sometimes it just feels futile.
I'm doing all this shit for the band, pretty much spending every waking moment trying to further my career in music, and I usually end up just feeling shitty about myself when the show's over. Not because we make music poorly, not because we didn't perform well, but because nothing feels real. Nothing is there. It's just a big blank page, with no color, and no emotion, and no meaning. The world is blank, so I need to fill it all in with darkness.
The void consumes me. The lack of color, the lack of anything...I have created in the void, and all my time is spent there, yet no one else seems to know of it. The only way for me to escape my void is to fill it. So the next step to freedom is matter.
I'm doing all this shit for the band, pretty much spending every waking moment trying to further my career in music, and I usually end up just feeling shitty about myself when the show's over. Not because we make music poorly, not because we didn't perform well, but because nothing feels real. Nothing is there. It's just a big blank page, with no color, and no emotion, and no meaning. The world is blank, so I need to fill it all in with darkness.
The void consumes me. The lack of color, the lack of anything...I have created in the void, and all my time is spent there, yet no one else seems to know of it. The only way for me to escape my void is to fill it. So the next step to freedom is matter.