Fic: Eleven Shillings Make Nine Short of a Pound (Jo/Will Hoffman)
I love this comm. Am I allowed to say that if it's my own? But I do - I finally got something done! The prompt was Jo/Will Hoffman/reverse the polarity. The elephant, eleven shillings, and Margaret Thatcher thing is an inside joke of mine, sorry. Hope to see more fic soon - new claim post goes up on Monday!
Title: Eleven Shillings Make Nine Short of a Pound
Author: livii
Characters/Pairings: Jo Grant/Lieutenant Will Hoffman, Tenth Doctor
Rating: PG-13ish
Summary: In which Will and Jo solve mysteries, battle monsters, and find time for a drink. Just your regular Code Blue, then.
Notes: Will's from the UNIT audios, and had a run with the Sixth Doctor across several Short Trips compilations. ~ 1,650 words.
Hoffman was starting to regret the notoriety he'd won by dealing with that Code Blue on his first day. Oh, sure, the other lads had started to take him a bit more seriously, and he'd been made Chaudhry's second - good position, that - but he'd give it all up to not have to deal with all the cranks that came through, nattering on about time travel and blue boxes.
"Right, I'm sure you have a very valid complaint, but just fill in this form and - oh."
The woman sitting across from him was old enough to be his mum, but she was still very slim, very cute, and there was something about her eyes...
At his stare, she laughed. "Jo Grant, but you can just call me Jo," she said, putting out her hand. Will shook it carefully, trying not to blush. "And I'm not here with a complaint - I have a specific message to pass on to you from the Doctor. Let me read it to you - he was quite insistent that it be passed on exactly." She rummaged in her oversized handbag for a small square of paper and some reading glasses, which she perched on the bridge of her nose. "Let's see. The Doctor says: 'White Rabbit, an elephant, eleven shillings, Margaret Thatcher.'" She took the reading glasses off, and looked at Will kindly. "That's all."
Will realized he had his mouth open, waiting to hear the rest of the message. He cleared his throat. "That's...not much of a message."
Jo laughed again. "The Doctor's messages rarely are. I'm sure he thinks it means something to you specifically, though. Can you think of anything?"
Will thought hard, but couldn't put all the parts together. "We did have our first...adventure...together at the White Rabbit pub, but the rest of it, who knows?"
"Well," Jo said, with a grin, "let's go get a drink at least!"
*
"Here you go," Will said, navigating to the quiet back table with two full pints.
"Cheers," Jo replied, taking a long drink from the glass. "Nice pub, here."
Will smiled. "It's a bit of a dump, but it's the local, and they put up with all us weird army folk running around."
"That's always good. So, an elephant," Jo said, staring around the room. "Like that one, on the wall, there?"
Will spun around in his seat. Right where Jo was indicating, there was a painting of some old prince or king, riding an elephant. He got up and went to look at it, with Jo right behind him.
"Hello?" he asked, feeling slightly stupid. When he got no response, he poked the painting with his forefinger. Immediately, the wall behind the painting swung inwards.
"Oh, well done!" Jo said, clapping her hands together. "What fun. Come on, let's go see where it leads us!" She took one of Will's hands in her own, and pulled him into the secret passageway they'd uncovered.
The passageway was dark and cramped. Jo had flicked on a small torch she carried in her handbag - Will had been tempted to ask if she had eleven shillings in there, by chance, since it seemed to have everything else in it - and they followed its bouncing light around the twists and turns, walking downward all the way. Will had first tried to use the lighter in his pocket, but after two burned fingers and realizing he was almost out of fuel, he saved it for an emergency smoke. Might need one, getting up to another Code Blue.
After a few slow minutes of progress, they came to a halt in front of a solid wood door. It had carvings all over and looked ancient, sacred. Will shivered.
"Don't lose faith on me now, Will," Jo said, with a sparkle in her eyes. Will blushed again.
"Just a chill," he said, and leaned forward to brush his hands across the door. "Hey, look!" Around the handle, there was an engraving of a small shilling. What had to be - Henry the Eighth, he thought - stared out at him, sternly.
"Once again, excellent work!" Jo said, with a beam. She reached out to trace the engraving with her own hand as well, brushing her fingers against Will's. He took a sharp breath, but if Jo noticed, she didn't let on.
"There's another one here,' she said, breaking Will out of his slight trance. She was kneeling by the ground, tracing another carving. "And I bet they go on. Come on!"
Will followed her as she crouched and counted the shillings running along a small side passageway. He tried to tell himself he was covering her back, not staring at her ass.
"Eleven!" she called out suddenly. She touched the last one carefully, frowning and standing up when nothing happened. The corridor wasn't really wide enough for two, Will thought, as she stood very close to him.
"Any more of your brilliant ideas?" Jo asked. "You've been so helpful so far." She batted her eyelashes up at Will.
"Um. That's - what's the last clue again?" Will said, desperate for a safe topic of conversation as the smell of Jo's shampoo made his head spin.
"Margaret Thatcher!" Jo exclaimed, and the last shilling suddenly glowed, red hot. The next moment, a trap door opened under their feet, and with a shout, they fell through.
The drop turned out to be about nine feet, and onto some straw. There were still a few moments of confusion, during which Will accidentally put his hand on Jo's breast, and he got a great view of her blue knickers. Cute pattern of stars, he thought, until he came to his senses and moved away.
Jo just grinned at him again; that same look in her eyes, of the opportunity for endless adventure, for travel and freedom and laughter.
"Let's see where we've ended up," she said, unselfconsciously readjusting her skirt. She struck off down the new corridor they found themselves in. Will tried to tidy his hair, then followed on behind.
The corridor ended abruptly at a large mess of cables and power equipment, some of it glowing and sparking. There was a ladder on the wall, leading up and hopefully to freedom, Will thought.
"So what now?" he asked, eyeing the equipment critically. At that moment, he heard several loud thumps, and turned around quickly.
In the dim gloom, he could just make out three creatures picking themselves up. They were large. They were ugly. And they looked really, really mad.
"Jo," he said, reaching behind his back to take her arm, "any more clues? We're in a bit of a jam. You go up the ladder first - I'll try to hold them off."
"Oh, this one's why he sent me," Jo said, grinning widely; she looked completely unconcerned by the creatures heading towards them. "You just have to reverse the polarity, Will." She screwed her eyes shut and jammed two sparking wires into one of the sockets.
The explosion, Will would remember later, seemed to shine with all the colours of the rainbow.
*
Will woke up looking into the face of an angel. He blinked a few times, and realized it was Jo, with a halo of sunlight behind her head.
He sat up, holding his head and groaning. Jo was sitting across from him, smiling. A little ways away, people were rushing to put out the fire spilling up from underneath the building next door to the White Rabbit.
"Sorry," she said, not sounding the least bit repentant, "didn't think the blast would knock you out like that. All's well now, though! Bad guys defeated, day saved, all that."
Will just shook his head. "I think it's definitely time for that smoke," he said, reaching into his pocket and lighting up with slightly shaking hands.
"Terrible habit," came a voice from over his shoulder; Will didn't recognize the voice, but the tone told him all he needed to know.
"Not that bad compared to almost dying in an explosion, Doctor," he said. Jo laughed.
"Say hello properly, Doctor," Jo said, and the man came into view. Will grinned.
"Bit skinnier than last time, aren't you!"
The Doctor frowned, but Will and Jo just grinned more widely. "Yes, well, that's hardly material right now," he said. "The important thing is that everything's been resolved with a minimum of fuss."
"But why all the secrecy, the clues, all that?" Will asked. "Honestly, Doctor, that was a pretty rubbish mystery. If you'd just told us what the clues were about, and we'd have done it."
"Well, I couldn't let the secret code words fall into just anyone's hands, could I?" the Doctor said, indignant. "I went to a lot of trouble to carve those shillings and put in the trap doors and everything. A little thanks would be welcome."
Will and Jo just stared at him. Jo looked completely exasperated. "Why not just a service elevator to the wires, Doctor? If you knew the creatures lived down there, it would have been a lot easier."
"The Doctor frowned. "I must have been in my manipulative incarnation at the time I set it up. I mean, especially manipulative," he said, at Jo and Will's incredulous looks. "Tests. You know. For my companions and such. Prove your mettle! It explains the last code word, too. Miserable time period, that was."
Jo shook her head. "Come on, Will. We were having a drink before this started. Doctor, try to only use my phone number for true emergencies in the future, won't you? I am retired, after all."
"Sorry, Doc," Will said, following Jo back to the pub. "I think she has seniority over me, got to follow orders." He heard Jo's light laughter floating back towards him, and he stubbed out his cigarette and made sure his uniform was on nice and straight as he hurried to catch up with her.
Title: Eleven Shillings Make Nine Short of a Pound
Author: livii
Characters/Pairings: Jo Grant/Lieutenant Will Hoffman, Tenth Doctor
Rating: PG-13ish
Summary: In which Will and Jo solve mysteries, battle monsters, and find time for a drink. Just your regular Code Blue, then.
Notes: Will's from the UNIT audios, and had a run with the Sixth Doctor across several Short Trips compilations. ~ 1,650 words.
Hoffman was starting to regret the notoriety he'd won by dealing with that Code Blue on his first day. Oh, sure, the other lads had started to take him a bit more seriously, and he'd been made Chaudhry's second - good position, that - but he'd give it all up to not have to deal with all the cranks that came through, nattering on about time travel and blue boxes.
"Right, I'm sure you have a very valid complaint, but just fill in this form and - oh."
The woman sitting across from him was old enough to be his mum, but she was still very slim, very cute, and there was something about her eyes...
At his stare, she laughed. "Jo Grant, but you can just call me Jo," she said, putting out her hand. Will shook it carefully, trying not to blush. "And I'm not here with a complaint - I have a specific message to pass on to you from the Doctor. Let me read it to you - he was quite insistent that it be passed on exactly." She rummaged in her oversized handbag for a small square of paper and some reading glasses, which she perched on the bridge of her nose. "Let's see. The Doctor says: 'White Rabbit, an elephant, eleven shillings, Margaret Thatcher.'" She took the reading glasses off, and looked at Will kindly. "That's all."
Will realized he had his mouth open, waiting to hear the rest of the message. He cleared his throat. "That's...not much of a message."
Jo laughed again. "The Doctor's messages rarely are. I'm sure he thinks it means something to you specifically, though. Can you think of anything?"
Will thought hard, but couldn't put all the parts together. "We did have our first...adventure...together at the White Rabbit pub, but the rest of it, who knows?"
"Well," Jo said, with a grin, "let's go get a drink at least!"
*
"Here you go," Will said, navigating to the quiet back table with two full pints.
"Cheers," Jo replied, taking a long drink from the glass. "Nice pub, here."
Will smiled. "It's a bit of a dump, but it's the local, and they put up with all us weird army folk running around."
"That's always good. So, an elephant," Jo said, staring around the room. "Like that one, on the wall, there?"
Will spun around in his seat. Right where Jo was indicating, there was a painting of some old prince or king, riding an elephant. He got up and went to look at it, with Jo right behind him.
"Hello?" he asked, feeling slightly stupid. When he got no response, he poked the painting with his forefinger. Immediately, the wall behind the painting swung inwards.
"Oh, well done!" Jo said, clapping her hands together. "What fun. Come on, let's go see where it leads us!" She took one of Will's hands in her own, and pulled him into the secret passageway they'd uncovered.
The passageway was dark and cramped. Jo had flicked on a small torch she carried in her handbag - Will had been tempted to ask if she had eleven shillings in there, by chance, since it seemed to have everything else in it - and they followed its bouncing light around the twists and turns, walking downward all the way. Will had first tried to use the lighter in his pocket, but after two burned fingers and realizing he was almost out of fuel, he saved it for an emergency smoke. Might need one, getting up to another Code Blue.
After a few slow minutes of progress, they came to a halt in front of a solid wood door. It had carvings all over and looked ancient, sacred. Will shivered.
"Don't lose faith on me now, Will," Jo said, with a sparkle in her eyes. Will blushed again.
"Just a chill," he said, and leaned forward to brush his hands across the door. "Hey, look!" Around the handle, there was an engraving of a small shilling. What had to be - Henry the Eighth, he thought - stared out at him, sternly.
"Once again, excellent work!" Jo said, with a beam. She reached out to trace the engraving with her own hand as well, brushing her fingers against Will's. He took a sharp breath, but if Jo noticed, she didn't let on.
"There's another one here,' she said, breaking Will out of his slight trance. She was kneeling by the ground, tracing another carving. "And I bet they go on. Come on!"
Will followed her as she crouched and counted the shillings running along a small side passageway. He tried to tell himself he was covering her back, not staring at her ass.
"Eleven!" she called out suddenly. She touched the last one carefully, frowning and standing up when nothing happened. The corridor wasn't really wide enough for two, Will thought, as she stood very close to him.
"Any more of your brilliant ideas?" Jo asked. "You've been so helpful so far." She batted her eyelashes up at Will.
"Um. That's - what's the last clue again?" Will said, desperate for a safe topic of conversation as the smell of Jo's shampoo made his head spin.
"Margaret Thatcher!" Jo exclaimed, and the last shilling suddenly glowed, red hot. The next moment, a trap door opened under their feet, and with a shout, they fell through.
The drop turned out to be about nine feet, and onto some straw. There were still a few moments of confusion, during which Will accidentally put his hand on Jo's breast, and he got a great view of her blue knickers. Cute pattern of stars, he thought, until he came to his senses and moved away.
Jo just grinned at him again; that same look in her eyes, of the opportunity for endless adventure, for travel and freedom and laughter.
"Let's see where we've ended up," she said, unselfconsciously readjusting her skirt. She struck off down the new corridor they found themselves in. Will tried to tidy his hair, then followed on behind.
The corridor ended abruptly at a large mess of cables and power equipment, some of it glowing and sparking. There was a ladder on the wall, leading up and hopefully to freedom, Will thought.
"So what now?" he asked, eyeing the equipment critically. At that moment, he heard several loud thumps, and turned around quickly.
In the dim gloom, he could just make out three creatures picking themselves up. They were large. They were ugly. And they looked really, really mad.
"Jo," he said, reaching behind his back to take her arm, "any more clues? We're in a bit of a jam. You go up the ladder first - I'll try to hold them off."
"Oh, this one's why he sent me," Jo said, grinning widely; she looked completely unconcerned by the creatures heading towards them. "You just have to reverse the polarity, Will." She screwed her eyes shut and jammed two sparking wires into one of the sockets.
The explosion, Will would remember later, seemed to shine with all the colours of the rainbow.
*
Will woke up looking into the face of an angel. He blinked a few times, and realized it was Jo, with a halo of sunlight behind her head.
He sat up, holding his head and groaning. Jo was sitting across from him, smiling. A little ways away, people were rushing to put out the fire spilling up from underneath the building next door to the White Rabbit.
"Sorry," she said, not sounding the least bit repentant, "didn't think the blast would knock you out like that. All's well now, though! Bad guys defeated, day saved, all that."
Will just shook his head. "I think it's definitely time for that smoke," he said, reaching into his pocket and lighting up with slightly shaking hands.
"Terrible habit," came a voice from over his shoulder; Will didn't recognize the voice, but the tone told him all he needed to know.
"Not that bad compared to almost dying in an explosion, Doctor," he said. Jo laughed.
"Say hello properly, Doctor," Jo said, and the man came into view. Will grinned.
"Bit skinnier than last time, aren't you!"
The Doctor frowned, but Will and Jo just grinned more widely. "Yes, well, that's hardly material right now," he said. "The important thing is that everything's been resolved with a minimum of fuss."
"But why all the secrecy, the clues, all that?" Will asked. "Honestly, Doctor, that was a pretty rubbish mystery. If you'd just told us what the clues were about, and we'd have done it."
"Well, I couldn't let the secret code words fall into just anyone's hands, could I?" the Doctor said, indignant. "I went to a lot of trouble to carve those shillings and put in the trap doors and everything. A little thanks would be welcome."
Will and Jo just stared at him. Jo looked completely exasperated. "Why not just a service elevator to the wires, Doctor? If you knew the creatures lived down there, it would have been a lot easier."
"The Doctor frowned. "I must have been in my manipulative incarnation at the time I set it up. I mean, especially manipulative," he said, at Jo and Will's incredulous looks. "Tests. You know. For my companions and such. Prove your mettle! It explains the last code word, too. Miserable time period, that was."
Jo shook her head. "Come on, Will. We were having a drink before this started. Doctor, try to only use my phone number for true emergencies in the future, won't you? I am retired, after all."
"Sorry, Doc," Will said, following Jo back to the pub. "I think she has seniority over me, got to follow orders." He heard Jo's light laughter floating back towards him, and he stubbed out his cigarette and made sure his uniform was on nice and straight as he hurried to catch up with her.