National Infertility Awareness Week

[the_moonmoth]

As those of you who’ve been reading along here will know, before I got pregnant I went through five rounds of IVF. I’m pretty much talked out re my personal experiences just now, but this week is National Infertility Awareness Week in the US, so here are some facts you probably didn’t know, and some things I learned along way that really highlight

Comments

[enigmaticblues]

Thank you for this. For us, I knew that a big part of us not getting pregnant was me, and while Tyson offered to get tested, I discouraged it once I knew that one round of the infertility treatments was enough for me. I didn't want him hurting in the same way I was (although maybe we would have given up sooner, IDK).

Also, the only point in time when I have seriously considered separation or divorce was during/just after the fertility treatments, and I totally get why it rips couples apart. I'm glad we weathered it, although not without some emotional scarring.

I'm happy for you guys and your new little person. May you and your little one be healthy and happy for all the years to come.

[the_moonmoth]

They didn't test your husband before starting a round of treatment? O.o That's... potentially very counterproductive. But, bygones.

the only point in time when I have seriously considered separation or divorce was during/just after the fertility treatments

Yes, I hear you. Our meltdown was slower to come, but very divisive when it happened. Thank goodness for couples therapy, I don't like to think where we'd be without it.

Thank you for the good wishes x

[enigmaticblues]

Heh, now that you say that, I realize that it was probably counterproductive, but my issues were so very obvious, I think the doctor was hoping the drugs would regulate my cycle. Although, granted, we might have gotten to the point we are today much faster if we'd known Tyson also would have difficulties.

We didn't do therapy, although I kind of wish we would have, looking back on things. There was definitely a sense of being alone and bereft on my part that I really didn't feel as though Tyson understood.

[velvetwhip]

*hugs*

Gabrielle

[the_moonmoth]

<3

[shapinglight]

Thank you for this. I am in dire need of advice like this and with not much clue where to find it.

[the_moonmoth]

You're welcome. Unfortunately, there are plenty of resources for the scientific side of what to expect, and very few for the emotional side. If there's more stuff you want to know, feel free to ask me.

[freecat15]

Such an important post, and so helpful for all who have people around them who go through this

[the_moonmoth]

You're welcome. My hope is that, as you say, someone in a similar position will be able to read this while it's useful.

[scripsi]

With my sister having the same problems I have been pretty shocked over the insensivity people can be. My brother-in-law's family has been truly horrible and after a few other things happened he has actually stopped talking to his mother and one brother.

I don't get it- it's easy to be kind.

*hugs*

[the_moonmoth]

Ugh, family can be the absolute worst. My parents were dreadful, and I didn't speak to them for five months at one point (though I'm not sure they noticed, since they never said anything). And of course the added stress is incredibly detrimental. I hope your sister and BIL have been able to put it out of their minds, for the time being at least. How is she doing with her little one? Still hanging on?

[scripsi]

My sister is doing a bit better this week and baby is fine, so they are hanging on. :)

I think there is a lot of guilt in action from my BiL's mother. She's a very Heavy smoker and she smióked as much as Always when she was pregnant with BiL. he was a pre-mature baby and the problems he has becoming a father is also strongly linked to a smoking mother. But she refuses to acknowledge her action can had had any impact and reacts with being (at the best) very passive-agressive. Add to this that she and the brother he doesn't speak to anymore can't understand the grief over the baby who died and Think my BiL and sister "should get over it". (I get angry just thinking about it!)