Firefly/Alias fic: Alive in the Wings

[the_grynne]

Written in response to sarkastic's Multi-Fandom Crossover Ficathon.

miladygrey requested: someone being nuzzled, and a sparkly sequined article of clothing.

Captain, Zoe and Simon soften at her telling - thinking about children

Comments

[orange_crushed]

This is really gorgeous, and you have River down like whoa. All her private games and riddles, her sly and secretive sense of humor, and the urgency with which she commits ever action. Some favorite lines:
Privacy is as privacy does on the ship.
Momentum springing up my ankles and feet; I accelerate. I excel. (That right there, the word-play. Terrific.)

...a special brain but no soul that they could measure. That lines just guts me. So lovely. She's got quite a wounded sense of self.

I like that she calls herself "the river Tam", and all the extra details. I can almost hear the hum of Serenity's engines, the clatter of boots on the steps, the gentle slide on an unlocking door. The style is just fragmented enough to carry us into her brain, and also to let us know in more linear terms what's going on.

Amazing work.

[the_grynne]

Thank you so much.

My fondness for puns is hard to explain. They turn up accidently and I go, "OMG, that was a pun, how dirty/weird/smart is my subconscious?" ;)

the urgency with which she commits ever action

Mmmm...urgency. Is so right. Real lucidness and moments of action, rather than passivity, are so rare and precious for River. I wanted everything choice word and move she made to have that weight of significance, deep thinking behind it.

River was tremendous fun to get into. Some characters are just like that, they take a life of their own so easily. In her case, it's everything that's just below the surface; half making sense, the other half in a secret language that you grasp the meaning of in your soul.

[so_spiffed]

Look with my eyes, with not my eyes.

For some reason, I like this without the comma. Maybe it's just me. Actually, I think it is just me. Ask someone else.

Skirts a pink blossom half-furled.
I love this. Because it sounds like it could make sense, or not make sense. It's the word "skirts". I just keep thinking of the way River walks through the ship, going around the people there, while they don't notice her doing so (thinking of Objects in Space, mostly).

[the_grynne]

"Skirts" always makes me think of petticoats...and billowy-ness. Light, airy things. I think it's adorable what River wears around the ship. Always these rose-pinks and soft reds, contrasting with Simon's blues. Like she's trying to make herself cheerful by wearing cheerful colours.

There's no way of writing River without thinking of "Objects in Space". It's the River episode, really.

How's Deadwood? ;) I really gave it to you at a bad time, didn't I?

[so_spiffed]

And those large jumpers. Oversized. They make her look small.

Deadwood is the spiff. Hickok is the double-spiff. And Calamity Jane all starry-eyed is THE ULTIMATE SPIFF. *grins*

[rez_lo]

This is so lovely; every sentence has cadence and nuance far beyond the bit of plot it owns. Intensity shimmers through the language.

I love the changes you made; the revised passage about Jayne's reaction to Irina, especially, is a marvel of compressed characterization. The whole thing is pared-down but so rich, just beautiful work. Thank you again for letting me read ahead.

[the_grynne]

You know you made it happen! :) Thank you. Your feedback owns me.

the revised passage about Jayne's reaction to Irina

Sex and violence; what else is there? *g* In any fight, Jayne would survive too, because, like River says (in the novelization), he's a bit like a cockroach, with primative but unbeatable cockroach survival instincts.

[lunasky]

So poetic and beautiful. I love how I have to read everything twice. Because I always had a hard time understanding River the first time, but listening again, I usually caught her private jokes and wisdom. She has so much buried within her and it comes through here perfectly; her bits of telepathy, her own unique way of putting all the pieces of life together. She doesn't lie, but everything she says and does is coloured by the way she sees them.

Beautiful.

[the_grynne]

I'm so happy that you felt it warranted reading twice. *g*

[the_grynne]

Hee. I'm so glad you liked it. I was afraid it might be a little too melancholy, when you were expecting something bright and funny. But I had a lot of fun writing it.

Got you friended too. :)