- Pinot Noir makes 1:30am feel like 6:30am. It's the DeLorean of alcohol
-A female friend just suggested that my house needs "a woman's touch". I told her "the same thing goes for my balls". Now she won't text back...
-Dear assholes: Patriotism and Xenophobia? Not the same thing. Just FYI...
-Haitian election officials have rejected hip-hop
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