(Untitled)

[motherfuckaa]

SLUTTY WOMEN

Hank stuck the sign on the edge of the table so that it hung down visible for all to see who ventured through the rec room.

Right beside it hung another.

DEMURE WOMEN

“Roll up, roll up! Never has there been a better time to be a member of the fairer sex.” Hank knew, of course, that women were far too complex to fit so easily into such

Comments

[knowthyexits]

Sarah's look of disgust is the one that typically gets invoked whenever she finds something severely distasteful. This doesn't falter just because it's someone she met once and found amusing (vaguely). "What the hell?" is her instantaneous demand. "How can you even begin to think this is a worthwhile use of your time?"

[motherfuckaa]

Hank couldn't remember a time when he'd done something that was a worthwhile use of his time and that was including what had happened before he had arrived on the island.

"I'm not known for using my time wisely," he agreed, so as not to poke the bear. "I'm known for much cooler things than that."

[knowthyexits]

"You don't exactly strike me as the sort of man who should be worried about being cool." She's noticed this has been happening. She hasn't been able to say anything but the truth, which had been why she avoided her shift and will have to for the next few days. "You're about twenty years too old for that. Be mature, now."

[motherfuckaa]

"Ouch. Man has feelings, woman." He wasn't new to that kind of criticism though, so he was hardly offended by it. "I made my living from being cool back home." He gave her a wink and clicked his tongue. "Nothing like an honest day's work."

That was what he'd heard anyway. Hank could genuinely say he'd never done one of those in his life.

[sexualtourettes]

Squirmy puppy in hand trying to bat his stethoscope, Fitch hung back in silent horror for the duration of Hank's spiel, eyes widening as he went on.

"What are you doing?" he asked, finally approaching the table, leaning back just enough to look at one sign and then the other. "Are you on something?" Considering who his best friend was it was a complete possibility.

"And what's wrong with my nose?"

[motherfuckaa]

"I'm off something," Hank corrected, hopping up onto the table and leaning back on his hands. It didn't matter that the action went against what he was about to say. "Finally off my ass and finding you a wife. This side is yours," he added, slapping a palm down above the 'DEMURE' sign.

"Nose? Who said nose? I nose nothing."

[sexualtourettes]

"So you think women are just going to walk up here and sign up as one or the other?" It seemed more likely that they'd walk over just to slap Hank in the face.

It was like finding out there was no Santa all over again. Hank was obviously just as clueless when it came to women as he was, except even he knew better than to pull a stunt like this one.

"And the other one is for...?"

[motherfuckaa]

Trust Coop to miss the point entirely.

"Let's hope not," Hank replied, offering no further explanation than that. Coop would appreciate Hank's martyrdom once he had a woman of his own.

Hank had to cull the herd somehow. If any women did actually walk right up and sign a sheet, then at least he'd know who to strike off the potentials list. Of course, if they signed the slut list, they would be handed straight to Lew who could do what he pleased with them.

"Ashby. He likies. And I forgot to give him a birthday gift last week."

[thegreat_ashby]

"Present," Lew said, rounding the table to get a better look at Hank's little set up. "Who's fucking Ashby?"

[motherfuckaa]

"Nobody at the moment." Hank pushed the blank sheet along the tabletop to Lew. "We're experiencing a sincere lack of sluts. I fear you have a dry spell approaching."

[thegreat_ashby]

"You must have me mixed up with yourself," Lew insisted as he looked at the other sheet of paper which didn't seem to be doing any better than the slut sign up.

"Right... I'm supposed to tell you to cease and desist on finding the good doc a mate. Or to find him a really crappy one."

[motherfuckaa]

"That is your birthday present," Hank told him, nodding at the slut list. "See, you insult me, but I still give and give and give. I am awesome. You're lucky to have me."

He rolled his eyes. "Coop is non-awesome. He's an even bigger pussy than I thought, getting you to come piss on my parade."