(Untitled)

[provenhumanity]

While George had to admit that an island full of sweets and candy was a great deal better than people involuntarily falling in love with each other, he couldn't help but wonder how many people would wind up making themselves sick over it. Even George, who'd only gone up to the compound for a few last minute Valentines Day supplies, had partaken,

Comments

[fears_nothing]

"While I advocate good sexual health, I don't know that announcing that is a particularly good idea."

Niko had seen the posters in and around the Compound and between that and trying to ignore the people gorging themselves on the foliage this Valentine's Day was turning out to be the strangest one he'd ever experienced. Niko had never really celebrated Valentine's Day, so the strangeness was also newness, but there was no avoiding it on the island.

"Who started this particular campaign?"

[provenhumanity]

Brilliant. Now complete strangers were going to think that he had an STI. George clapped one hand over his eyes and groaned.

"I don't know I don't know I don't know." he said. The only thing George did know was that he had to get ride of these as quickly as humanly possible.

[fears_nothing]

Niko touched the edge of the poster lightly. It was handmade, unsurprisingly, given he didn't know of any printing presses. There was a newspaper, to his knowledge, but Niko had never read it.

"I think the island does a decent enough job providing prophylactics and if you're too stupid to use them, I doubt it's the place of any one person to play morality police."

With that, Niko tugged at the edge of the poster, trying to remove it.

[provenhumanity]

"Good idea," George said, and tugged at the other edge of the poster in an attempt to remove it from the wall. The last thing he needed was anyone he knew to come across one of these. God, he'd probably never hear the end of i from Mitchell if he did.

He pulled at the poster, but instead of the entire thing coming away, only half of it ripped away from the wall. George closed his eyes and sighed.

"And I am most certainly not too stupid to use them... but you were probably talking about the population in general, weren't you?"

[chasinghumanity]

Perfect. Just perfect. Mitchell couldn't have timed it better if he'd tried.

By some weird twist of fate probably owing to the fact that Mitchell had desperately needed a shower that morning, Mitchell had gotten to the Compound before George. He had examined the posters thoroughly and still had plenty of time to take a shower and come up with a dozen good zingers to torment George with.

And there he was, goggling at his own gob just as Mitchell was combing back his still damp curls after hurriedly dressing.

"George," he said firmly, seriously, in his I have some important information to impart to you voice.

Mitchell laid a hand on his mate's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "It's not that bad George, really. Loads of people have this sort of problem and live perfectly normal, sexually fulfilling lives."

[provenhumanity]

Of course Mitchell would be standing there. Of course. Now any plans George had of tearing down as many posters as he could find and hiding the evidence so he'd never have to hear about this again were but a distant dream.

"This," George replied, gesturing toward the poster as he frowned, "isn't funny. This is not something we're going to laugh about, and-- and bring up every year and joke around about."

[chasinghumanity]

"No?" Mitchell asked innocently. "So it's something curable then? Not like herpes where it keeps coming back? Because that would genuinely suck, mate, and would not be funny, you're right."

[provenhumanity]

"It's nothing! I don't-- I don't have anything, God, how is this even a topic of conversation? Where-- where did these even come from?!" George whirled around to face the poster again, his voice raising several pitches with frustration.

[un_gloved]

There was instead a very livid looking young mutant.

"Son. Of. A. *&@#$!," she said.

[provenhumanity]

"I'm taking it down," George decided, right then and there. In his current state of agitation, it hadn't quite registered to him that the woman speaking to him was another person who'd been featured on the posters. "I'm taking it down, and then it'll be gone and no one will have to talk about it ever again."

He whirled around once more, and in one smooth motion, attempted to pull the poster off of the wall. Instead of coming off in one clean piece, it tore, leaving four top halves of his face squinting down at the two of them

[un_gloved]

Rogue hissed another quiet curse and reached up to rip the rest of it off in one sharp, deft movement. She started to ball it up.

"Wanna go find who put these up 'n make hi eat the paper he printed 'em on?"

[provenhumanity]

"That's a brilliant idea," George replied, crumpling up the bit of poster he'd torn down himself. Though, there was the matter of any other posters around and people seeing them in the meantime. He'd just have to take them down as they went along, then.

"I'm guessing that you didn't agree to any of this either?"

[radical_cowgirl]

All he saw was Edward, munching on some candy flowers and looking at the strange, strange man who was apparently very angry about something.

"What's vener-vener-venerial disease?"

The Welsh Corgi sitting next to her covered his face with a paw briefly before whining.

"And why is the man-man so angry about it?" Edward walked closer to the poster, blinking at the image, and looking at the angry man. "They're just funny faces, Edward makes them all the time." She demonstrated.

[provenhumanity]

"Nothing. It's nothing," George said, because having his face plastered on a poster preaching the dangers of venereal disease was one thing, having to explain STI's to a little girl... or boy was another.

"It's nothing, it means absolutely nothing, and now it's gone." He reached up and attempted to tear the poster down from the wall, but only succeeded in ripping half of it down, leaving two half-sneezing faces there, along with the words 'venereal disease.'

"Oh god. Just kill me now."

[radical_cowgirl]

Edward walked right up to the poster and leaned in to look closely at it. "Ven-er-eal disease. Venereal disease." It had to be a disease, and those were bad, but the words were fun to say.

Oh, well.

"Venereal disease, venereal disease, venereal disease, vene~real diseeeaese." She started singing it as she danced around the strange man. "The angry man doesn't have vener-er-er-er-eal disease."

[provenhumanity]

For a long moment, George just stood there, watching the ridiculous display. What had he done to deserve all of this?

"...I've actually died. I've died and this is hell." he said, sounding completely and thoroughly defeated.

[tearsthrulife]

"Good to know."

Rahne stood with her arms folded over her chest, eyebrows raised in a look that was nothing but expectant, as if he would have some explanation for the poster he stood in front of. Said poster having his face on it - several times, for that matter - it seemed only reasonable that he would be the person to inquire about it, and now here he was, shouting for all to hear. It would have been amusing, if not for the fact that they'd been having sex, and true though she was reasonably certain his claim was, this still wasn't the sort of thing that needed to be public, the poster's allegation more than a little unpleasant.

Gesturing towards the wall with a tilt of her head, she looked from the four sneezing Georges to the man himself. "Mind if I ask what yuir face is doing on something like this?"

[provenhumanity]

"..oh my God." George repeated, turning around to face Rahne, paling at the sight of her. "I-- I can explain, I swear."

He turned and looked at the poster again, and the gravity of it all set in. There was no telling just how many of these there were or who had seen them. God, he'd been having enough trouble trying to get Rahne's friends to like him as it was.

"Okay, so maybe I can't explain, but-- but I have absolutely no idea where this came from."

[tearsthrulife]

"Well, ye had better figure it out, hadn't ye?" Rahne asked. She was angry now, a barely noticeable frustration just barely beginning to boil below the surface, but it wasn't at him, exasperating though his lack of answers was. No, it was directed entirely at whoever had done this, who had apparently thought it would be a brilliant idea to use her boyfriend's face as some sort of safe sex campaign. She had half a mind to find the culprit and wring his bloody neck, but the trouble was, she didn't have anyone to go after yet. That was going to have to change. "Can ye think of anyone who might want to make ye look bad like this?"

[provenhumanity]

"I don't exactly make it a habit to go around making enemies, Rahne," George said, because he could, perhaps, only count on one hand the number of people on the island who might have wanted to make him look bad. There was the boy with the giant dog-beast, but he was more an annoyance than anything else.

He covered his eyes with one hand and sighed. God, this was worse than when someone had written 'Peedo' on the front door in Bristol.