(Untitled)

[dinnerfor1_girl]

There was snow on the ground, there was a chill in the air, and Christmas was afoot. Sally had always spent her childhood insisting that if Santa really existed, then he would give her a rich husband so she could retire and inflate (possibly not in that exact order). Santa never quite came, though, and it wasn't like she was doing it for herself

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[halfafinger]

"You're not really going to marry that snowman, are you?" Margot asked as she stood by and watched its - his - construction.

"The sex would be awkward. Like licking a lamppost in winter."

[dinnerfor1_girl]

"I've had worse," Sally harrumphed slightly as she crouched over, hair swaying over her shoulder as she picked up a good lump of snow to add to his hips slightly more so that he didn't quite look effeminate. "And it's not like I haven't had to deal with licking lampposts that decide not to give you a tap when they're ready."

[halfafinger]

Looking as if she was trying very hard not to laugh, Margot took a few steps closer, her hands buried deep in the pockets of her fur coat. The clothes box had offered several alternatives - all fur, all obnoxiously-colored - but she'd stuck with her old one. For now.

"Does he have a name?"

[dinnerfor1_girl]

"We're getting to that. A man has to have a good name, especially the last name. The very last thing in the world a woman needs is to become Mrs. Dick," she said snidely, wrinkling her nose as she turned to Margot. "Well? Cleft chin? Or no?"

[hyperspanner]

Well, what did you know, Sandwich-Hating Sally did have some sense of fun. And a fair bit of artistic talent, too. Scotty was impressed.

"He might be handsome," he remarked, stopping to appreciate her handiwork, "But y'know he'll never keep ye warm at night."

[dinnerfor1_girl]

"It's not like any of the men I've slept with fulfilled that task," she pointed out as she smoothed small lines of hair into his head, standing on her tiptoes to get there. "Out in the middle of the night for their early start. Just before I could tell them about their early finish."

[hyperspanner]

"Charming," Scotty laughed, and he'd leave it up to Sally to judge whether he meant the men or her by that. "Clearly you've been sleeping with the wrong sort of men, if they don't even stick around for breakfast. Breakfast's the second-best bit."

He picked a spot not too far from Sally's own creation and started piling up snow. Hadn't a clue what he was actually about to build, but he'd see how the mood took him.

[dinnerfor1_girl]

"Breakfast implies a commitment and most men don't want to even bother having a conversation that in any way leads to 'where is this going'," she said, without much faith in men at all implied in her voice. "The longest relationship I've ever had," she said thoughtfully, "has been breakfast the morning after."

[beat_death]

"I don't know," Owen said, surveying Sally's snowman, head slightly tilted, "Don't you think it'd be a bit cold?"

Trying to procreate with a snowman seemed like a bad idea all around, melting problem aside.

[dinnerfor1_girl]

"Possibly, but with the right snow, he could be the biggest I've ever seen," she teased slightly. "I mean, besides Donkey Brain," she harrumphed. And even then, she hadn't actually seen it exactly, not if you didn't count the little glimpse during their little Pornographic Viewing Session.

Well, and the little glimpse at her apparent relationship with earlier-mentioned Donkey.

[beat_death]

He almost dreaded asking. "Okay, who's 'Donkey Brain'?"

No doubt the answer would descend into some kind of rambling explanation that didn't make much logical sense, but now he was curious. It was difficult not to be.

[dinnerfor1_girl]

"Patrick Maitland," Sally said and took great pleasure in the way she could sound so critical of Patrick even when he was thousands of miles away. "Idiot, narcissistic, obsessed with cars, but the man does have quite the tripod," she said, mostly to herself as she began to resculpt the snowman's abdomen.

[vvdanicavv]

Being decidedly shorter than six foot, it was easy for Danica to sneak up unseen behind the quite literal snowman and stay hidden behind the icy mound. She rolled her eyes when Sally actually spoke to the fucking thing, found herself questioning yet again why she talked to this woman. She was still having nightmares about the friend thing.

"Neither," she replied, tone lowered into that of a (snow)man's. "I'm queer."

[dinnerfor1_girl]

Sally knew the voice, but she still couldn't help a small snort of laughter. "Well, you are on the Island," she deadpanned, tipping her head to one side and waiting for Danica to come out. "Any other little secrets you've been keeping from me, Mr. Frosty?"

[vvdanicavv]

"He probably cross-dresses too," Danica faux lamented, giving the snowman a glance up at his head as she appeared from behind it. It wouldn't surprise her if it looked like her brother; every other guy on the island did after all. With that idea in her head now, she looked down at the snowman's crotch to compare.

Huh. No comparison.

"Wow. You must think a lot of yourself if you think you can handle that." She chucked a thumb at the well-endowed snow penis before moving away to take in the entire figure.

[dinnerfor1_girl]

"I've a bloke-friend who's...fairly well-endowed," Sally said, her fingers fluttering by her collarbone as she mentally smacked both herself and Susan for missing an opportunity that only her older, more wrinkled self got to indulge in. "I've had video evidence that apparently I did eventually get him in the sack, so apparently I can take it."

[oscaroscaroscar]

"Important decisions," Felix said seriously before breaking out in a silly grin and wagging a finger, "but either way, you can never trust that sort of man. I'm sure he'll cut out on you the moment the weather switches back to something a little more megathermal."

[dinnerfor1_girl]

Sally let out a long sigh and gave an understanding nod as she turned back to her snowman, thinking that this was the sort of winter activity that would probably be better completed with alcohol. "There's no accounting for men and their loyalty. They slobber like dogs, but won't follow you to the ends of the earth like one. No offense intended."

[oscaroscaroscar]

"None taken," Felix assured her. He knew he'd have followed Gloria wherever she'd wanted to go, after all, the problem was just that... she hadn't wanted. Loyalty was not a quality he doubted he carried en masse. Another one? Propriety. "Although I have to wonder if you maybe shouldn't... cover him up a bit? There are children around, you know."

[dinnerfor1_girl]

"Oh, I'm getting to the trousers," Sally assured, though the majority of her attention was given to the snowman in question. "I like to work with everything, so I can't give him clothes until I know what he's trying to hide, after all," she pointed out with a hint of a grin. "What do you think? Straight-legged or skinny-jean man?"