Comments | the__ivorytower: Meta-What? My Problem With Varian Wrynn

the__ivorytower

Meta-What? My Problem With Varian Wrynn

Apr 25, 2012 14:26

I needed to get this out, it's been stewing, and unlike my Thrall post, I have more than enough energy to hate at Varian Wrynn.

( My Problem With Varian Wrynn (And Why I Will NEVER Love Him) )

wolfheart coming soon, varian is not my king period, varian is not trained in socialize, fuck you metzen, charisma is not a dump stat, run anduin run, varian is not the king of parenting, metawhat?

Comments 40

phoenix_anca April 25 2012, 19:52:43 UTC

I have to agree with a lot of this. :( I'm pretty certain that by the time Blizz is done with Warcraft lore there won't be a major character left that I still like.

the__ivorytower April 25 2012, 20:18:06 UTC

I know. :(

silverr April 25 2012, 20:27:56 UTC

WHOOP! I'm always excited to see one of these big honking lore posts from you, because they're so freaking good.

Tiffin Wrynn should not have been standing on a balcony holding her infant son during a riot.

All I can think of is some misguided attempt at an Andromache - Astyanax parallel. Which is fail, since it's Hector's son, not his wife who dies, and at the hands of the victors.

the__ivorytower April 25 2012, 20:49:29 UTC

Aww, I'm touched, thank you.

The problem is I think that the writers wanted something tragic and dramatic. However, they rely too heavily on people being incompetent. It stops being dramatic when you're yelling OH COME ON, YOU MORON at whatever you're reading. Or maybe I'm the only one that does that...

silverr April 25 2012, 20:59:06 UTC

Or maybe I'm the only one that does that...

I very much doubt that.

I mean, seriously ... one yells at the characters in Sophocles and Shakespeare for blindly marching into ill-fated situations, but Oedipus and Lear and Othello do what they do from character flaws other than complete stupidity.

guntank April 26 2012, 22:03:22 UTC

Gah.

Gah.

I swear, they probably had Tiffin act (and die) the way she did to make Varian a no-brainer in the notion of peace in the Warcraft world, so that he won't have to become 'another damn naive and pacifist Human weakling like Jaina' a sensible leader like Thrall. With what happened, Varian can conveniently say that peace is useless; Tiffin 'tried', and all she got was a rock thrown at her head for her troubles and killed, and obviously the Horde can throw much bigger rocks than what the Defias can dish out, so...

Man, I'm glad somebody ranted on Varian. Especially you! Nowadays it almost seems like Livejournal Warcraft fans are the only sane ones left on the Internet... X(

astridmyrna April 25 2012, 21:08:31 UTC

OMG this post. *fans self*

I came into WoW late in the game, so I did research on Varian on wowpedia and learned about how he did not pay the Stonemasons for rebuilding Stormwind. "But-but-but I thought you were doing this on behalf on Stormwind" is such bullshit. My dad's a foreman plumber, and so I also know how tricky the construction business can be and how fucking expensive materials are, so if he had done the plumbing for Stormwind you'd bet he'd order all toilets in the city to be flushed at the same time. That is, if Stormwind had toilets, of course.

Oh, and Tiffin?
If Tiffin had to die (well, after Anduin was born, of course, cuz what other purpose could a queen serve? Lolololsobsobsob), I also would have preferred if she got beaned in the head and that started the riots or perhaps have her go down to meet with the Stonemasons in civillian clothes/disguise to try and pay the masons but some guy gets insulted because the King wouldn't pay them himself and throws the bag of heavy coins at her as she leaves, and kills her by ( ... )

the__ivorytower April 25 2012, 21:15:00 UTC

you'd bet he'd order all toilets in the city to be flushed at the same time

*bursts out laughing* That would be entertaining.

The really bad part is anything we know about Tiffin's backstory basically comes from a brief forum post because of a Q&A session. We can tell you thought this out so well.

astridmyrna April 25 2012, 21:23:27 UTC

She's a Walking Incubator. She only has two purposes: childbirth and angst. My writer-senses tell me that Aggra walks this same path. Only she'll probably end up dying in childbirth, like 8/10 royal wives do.

Lol, I shit on "mothers die during childbirth" plot-contrivance so much, and yet I do the same in my fanfic. XD But for completely different and valid purpose, I tell you!

the__ivorytower April 25 2012, 21:28:22 UTC

In my version of what happens, Varian's wife (whose name is Lianne) dies in childbirth because Katrana spends the majority of her pregnancy poisoning her, because she's smart and Varian relies on her, she has to go. He won't listen to Katrana while she's around.

There are actually conditions that do cause a much higher risk of child birth, but I'm pretty sure that Blizzard doesn't know/care and is using ye olde fantasy trope.

I try to vary the amount of women dying through easily preventable means, mostly because I'm tired of no one having a mom. Moms are clutch, yo. Jaina's mother is still alive. Arthas' is... well, she was not a good person, but that's been covered in some of my other work.

Thread 11

nagaina_ryuuoh April 25 2012, 21:10:21 UTC

Basically, Varian's only tolerable when he doesn't know who the Hell he is and is primarily concerned with finding out. Once he got there, it was all downhill to present.

the__ivorytower April 25 2012, 21:12:29 UTC

Yup.

yukie1013 April 26 2012, 01:37:54 UTC

PRETTY MUCH like I started reading the comics and I was like, "I kinda like this version of the guy. The lolcanon is dumb and I'm probably gonna ignore it but amnesia-boy Varian is kind of adorkable in th... ... ... ...Wow that was sudden. Like, READY. AIM, DOUCHE"

yukie1013 April 26 2012, 01:33:37 UTC

I am even more justified in AUing the balls off of everything now YAY. I mean, seriously, this shit is what happens when you use a character as plot lever ( ... )

the__ivorytower April 26 2012, 01:57:24 UTC

This may finally un-stick me for my lengthy rant involving Thrall's characterization. I might just have a brief summary of 'wtf Thrall' from the earlier parts and then A GIANT CHUNK OF TEXT about the Shattering, because goddamnitIncidentally, now I'm picturing Varian referring to Bolvar and Anduin as 'me trout' (which is more Newfoundland and less New Brunswick, but it's where half my boyfriend's family is from and it's adorable ( ... )

yukie1013 April 26 2012, 02:57:36 UTC

...Varian using that expression would be adorable XD (I admit talking a guilty pleasure in writing Mr. Big Badass McLarge Huge doing dorky cute things around people he cares for, like making tiny pancakes for Anduin or buying Jaina one of the big dang Stormwind sunhats they talk about in the RPG books, or nagging Bolvar to wear a scarf up in Northrend because "it's right some damn cold up there ( ... )