Bleach fic, Weight of a Promise chapter 9
title: Weight of a Promise chapter 9
author: caledon (the_tower_room)
pairing: Ichigo/Orihime
rating: T
summary: "All or nothing," she whispered to herself. Years ago, she'd made that decision. Her feelings overflowed, became too much for her to keep inside any longer, and she'd let them out, released them in words to the one man that had always held her heart.
words: 1920
Beyond the window of Chizuru's spare bedroom, the light of the stars was drowned out by the lights of Karakura. In that filtered darkness, Orihime could only stare unseeing, trying to drown out his words from her mind.
“Let's get married, Orihime.”
Those words tore at her. Those were the words of the dream of a young girl: the girl she used to be; the girl who had realized five years ago that those silly words would never come to pass.
Hearing “Gomen, Inoue,” after she confessed her feelings to him had dashed that dream. And now, five years later, after the death of her best friend, those words had come to actualization, as though to mock her.
Insidiously, she felt herself waver, her locked away heart poking through its cage, hope encasing it, telling her that her buried feelings have been fleeting out, bursting in yearning... Accept, her heart told her. Say yes.
But the other side of her, the part that had wallowed in hurt and heartbreak, told her what her mind knew too well: it wasn't really her, Orihime, that he wanted. In the absence of Tatsuki, she was just the replacement, right?
And the proposal had really been made for Tatsunosuke's sake. It was a way to let him keep having two parents to look after him. Even Orihime had realized that Ichigo wouldn't really know much about parenting, having it just thrust upon him so suddenly, and having them together would make it easier for Tatsunosuke to adjust to having Ichigo in his life. But Ichigo didn't really have to go so far as to ask her to marry him...
To pretend to be a family...to pretend to love each other... Orihime forced herself to laugh to abate her tears, but they came unbidden, trailing tracks of salt down her cheeks, and she curled her arms around her knees and buried her face.
Tatsuki-chan...it is you who should be here instead of me. It is you who should form your family with Kurosaki-kun and Kurotatsu.
It's not me who should be here.
Not me.
Ichigo leaned his head back against the wall, bumping it back several times before he resumed eroding a path between the bedroom and the kitchen. He couldn't sleep. Out of nervousness, he felt restless. Since coming home he had paced back and forth in the cramped space of his apartment. Will she say yes? Will she give him a chance to show her how he felt? This was finally the time, their chance to be together. He had screwed it up before, and he was resolved not to make the same mistake. This opportunity he was presented with, to form a family with her and Tatsunosuke...it was as though Tatsuki herself had given her blessing...maybe?
If only Orihime would accept him.
Despite the feeling of resolve, he still felt lost. He had been feeling desperate over losing her again, and he had wanted to set things right, and asking her to marry him was a step in that direction, right? Maybe right now it was too soon, but the offer was there. He would leave it open until she was ready. And he had told her he would wait for her answer for how ever long it would take.
He stopped pacing, and pulled the curtain from his window. For all of his worries about Orihime, he mustn't forget the part of her that was also a part of him: his new found son.
Clenching the cloth of the curtain, he twisted away, eyes shutting tight. I have a son. From that night. With Tatsuki.
How the years of pain, heartache, and yearning bore down on him. That's why Tatsuki left. Even though it hurt, he could understand Tatsuki's stance of not wanting to let him know. She had also seen that night as a mistake; a night of regret. But in the end she had spared no one of the pain of knowing. Tatsuki had known. Orihime had known. And they had both hurt because of it.
And Tatsunosuke had been caught in the middle of all it.
Running both hands through his hair, he wondered how he would fare as a sudden father. He had lost a lot of years. Tatsunosuke seemed to know of him and accepting of him-until Ichigo screwed that one up as well. He had a lot to make up for.
Thinking of himself as a father, he couldn't help but be reminded of his own relationship with his father. His frown deepened.
Unthinkingly, he reached for his cellphone.
It was strange to be knocking on the door to his childhood home, and he was taken back to how his father would usually greet him. This time though, as though sensing the unrest in his son, Isshin held himself in check when he opened the door, nodding in indication to the kitchen and letting Ichigo let himself in.
It was not often they drank together, but the elder Kurosaki sensed it was not going to be one of those nights they'd let themselves loose and be boisterous. Isshin had already set a bottle of sake and two glasses on the table, sitting himself down with an exaggerated sigh as he watched Ichigo take the seat opposite him.
Pouring him a drink, he cut right to the chase, “What's on your mind, son?”
The orange-haired took the glass, swirling the liquid inside, and took his time to contemplate.
For his part, Isshin could see that no amount of riling would get Ichigo to open up until he was ready, so he just steadily emptied his glass as he waited. Just as he was reaching for the bottle for his third serving, Ichigo finally broke his silence.
“I just found out I have a kid.”
Isshin almost stumbled, eyes widening, eyebrows flying up to his hairline, his hand falling to rest on the table. “Oh,” was all he could mutter, mind flickering back to the last relationship he had heard about. Nodding, he managed to fill his glass again, raising it with one hand and patting his son's shoulder with the other. “Congratulations to you and Nozomi-chan, then!” he boomed out heartily with an ecstatic chuckle before taking a huge sip of his drink. “Here I was kind of afraid because you're all doom and gloom, but this is great news! Hahaha...ha...” Isshin's laughter trailed off when he saw Ichigo hadn't joined in the celebration. “Isn't it? Don't tell me you're not happy about having a baby?”
The orange-haired shifted in his seat. “No, it's not that. It's not Nozomi. We've broken up a long time ago.” Finally raising the glass to his lips, he gulped down the liquid and wiped his lips with his sleeve. “My kid-son-he's actually four now.”
One dark eyebrow rose as Isshin did a mental calculation. If the kid was four years old, plus nine months of pregnancy, that meant he was conceived about five years ago... Five years... The only young woman he had heard about his son fancying back then was-
“Orihime-chan?” Isshin gasped, eyes widening, a huge grin stretching on his face. He slapped his hand on the table. “You dog! Hahaha! I knew you had it in you. You just made mine and your sisters' dreams come true by getting together with an Orihime-level girl with Orihime herself!”
Ichigo winced. “It's not her.”
“Eh?” A puzzled frown immediately bore down on Isshin's elation. “Come again?”
“It's Tatsuki.”
Isshin blinked and sunk back in his chair. “Oh.” He ran a hand over his face and smacked his lips as he thought about what to say.
“Tatsuki was away, living with Orihime all this time,” explained Ichigo. “She hadn't wanted me to know about him. And she had di-passed away-recently. And Inou-Orihime-came back here to bury her and tell me about Tatsuki's-our-son.”
“Oh.” The older man released a deep exhale. “Tatsuki-chan is dead, huh.”
Ichigo clenched his hands around his empty glass. “Yeah.”
“May she rest in peace,” mumbled Isshin. “And you just learned you had a kid with her.”
“Yeah.”
“But I thought it was Orihime-chan that you lov-”
“Yeah.” Ichigo ran both hands over his face and pulled at his hair. “Me and Tatsuki-it was a stupid night. We were both drunk.”
Isshin eyed the glass in front of Ichigo and pulled it away. The orange-haired gave him an annoyed look.
“So what now? What's going to happen with-with-? What's the kid's name?”
“Tatsunosuke.”
“Tatsunosuke, huh? That's a nice name. What's going to happen now between, well, all of you?”
“Well...I-I want to get to know him...”
“Of course, that's understandable. You missed out on a lot.”
“Yeah. I, uh, also want us-the three of us-to be a family.”
“Right. What about Orihime-chan?”
Ichigo swallowed. “I said to her that we should get married.”
Isshin nearly fell out of his chair, and blinking incessantly, couldn't help but look at his son as though he was a stranger. He reached for his glass and drank up the dregs, pondering about all the things he could say. It was obviously too late to lecture him about unprotected sex, too late to advise him about falling in love with one woman and then sleeping with another, and too late to offer counsel on raising a baby. People made mistakes. What was past had passed, and there was no turning back from it. It was an unfortunate part of life. But now, he could see that his son was presented with a chance to rectify what had happened. For now, what he could do was offer his support-and guidance in handling this delicate situation Ichigo found himself in.
“And what did Orihime-chan say to that?”
“I think she wanted to say no, but I told her I'll wait for her to think things through.”
The older man couldn't help letting out a sigh of relief. “Good. You didn't force the issue.”
Ichigo scowled. “What's that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. Nothing. Moving on.” Isshin waved his hands in dismissal, then leaned forward with a big smile and bright eyes. “You should bring them both here.”
“Here?”
“Yes. It's only natural to formally welcome them into the family.”
The scowl softened as Ichigo leaned back in his seat. “I guess.”
“Of course, of course! Why, like you, I missed out on my grandson too.” He sniffed. “Me? Already a grandfather.” He rose from his seat and made his way to his wife's poster on the wall. “We're grandparents, Masaki. Our son has given us our first grandchild.” He proceeded to sob loudly, sniffing into his sleeve before spreading his arms to embrace the poster.
The orange-haired looked up, a small smile lifting the corner of his lips despite himself. Somehow, seeing this, the familiarity of his father's goofy actions, he felt alleviated of the heaviness that had been weighing on him. Integrating both Orihime and Tatsunosuke into the Kurosaki household was the start that he hadn't known he was seeking. To make them all feel like a true family.
Ichigo reached for the bottle and poured the liquor into both their glasses, then raised his and clinked it against his father's on the table.
“Thanks...oyaji.”
==================================================
previous chapter | next chapter
author: caledon (the_tower_room)
pairing: Ichigo/Orihime
rating: T
summary: "All or nothing," she whispered to herself. Years ago, she'd made that decision. Her feelings overflowed, became too much for her to keep inside any longer, and she'd let them out, released them in words to the one man that had always held her heart.
words: 1920
Beyond the window of Chizuru's spare bedroom, the light of the stars was drowned out by the lights of Karakura. In that filtered darkness, Orihime could only stare unseeing, trying to drown out his words from her mind.
“Let's get married, Orihime.”
Those words tore at her. Those were the words of the dream of a young girl: the girl she used to be; the girl who had realized five years ago that those silly words would never come to pass.
Hearing “Gomen, Inoue,” after she confessed her feelings to him had dashed that dream. And now, five years later, after the death of her best friend, those words had come to actualization, as though to mock her.
Insidiously, she felt herself waver, her locked away heart poking through its cage, hope encasing it, telling her that her buried feelings have been fleeting out, bursting in yearning... Accept, her heart told her. Say yes.
But the other side of her, the part that had wallowed in hurt and heartbreak, told her what her mind knew too well: it wasn't really her, Orihime, that he wanted. In the absence of Tatsuki, she was just the replacement, right?
And the proposal had really been made for Tatsunosuke's sake. It was a way to let him keep having two parents to look after him. Even Orihime had realized that Ichigo wouldn't really know much about parenting, having it just thrust upon him so suddenly, and having them together would make it easier for Tatsunosuke to adjust to having Ichigo in his life. But Ichigo didn't really have to go so far as to ask her to marry him...
To pretend to be a family...to pretend to love each other... Orihime forced herself to laugh to abate her tears, but they came unbidden, trailing tracks of salt down her cheeks, and she curled her arms around her knees and buried her face.
Tatsuki-chan...it is you who should be here instead of me. It is you who should form your family with Kurosaki-kun and Kurotatsu.
It's not me who should be here.
Not me.
Ichigo leaned his head back against the wall, bumping it back several times before he resumed eroding a path between the bedroom and the kitchen. He couldn't sleep. Out of nervousness, he felt restless. Since coming home he had paced back and forth in the cramped space of his apartment. Will she say yes? Will she give him a chance to show her how he felt? This was finally the time, their chance to be together. He had screwed it up before, and he was resolved not to make the same mistake. This opportunity he was presented with, to form a family with her and Tatsunosuke...it was as though Tatsuki herself had given her blessing...maybe?
If only Orihime would accept him.
Despite the feeling of resolve, he still felt lost. He had been feeling desperate over losing her again, and he had wanted to set things right, and asking her to marry him was a step in that direction, right? Maybe right now it was too soon, but the offer was there. He would leave it open until she was ready. And he had told her he would wait for her answer for how ever long it would take.
He stopped pacing, and pulled the curtain from his window. For all of his worries about Orihime, he mustn't forget the part of her that was also a part of him: his new found son.
Clenching the cloth of the curtain, he twisted away, eyes shutting tight. I have a son. From that night. With Tatsuki.
How the years of pain, heartache, and yearning bore down on him. That's why Tatsuki left. Even though it hurt, he could understand Tatsuki's stance of not wanting to let him know. She had also seen that night as a mistake; a night of regret. But in the end she had spared no one of the pain of knowing. Tatsuki had known. Orihime had known. And they had both hurt because of it.
And Tatsunosuke had been caught in the middle of all it.
Running both hands through his hair, he wondered how he would fare as a sudden father. He had lost a lot of years. Tatsunosuke seemed to know of him and accepting of him-until Ichigo screwed that one up as well. He had a lot to make up for.
Thinking of himself as a father, he couldn't help but be reminded of his own relationship with his father. His frown deepened.
Unthinkingly, he reached for his cellphone.
It was strange to be knocking on the door to his childhood home, and he was taken back to how his father would usually greet him. This time though, as though sensing the unrest in his son, Isshin held himself in check when he opened the door, nodding in indication to the kitchen and letting Ichigo let himself in.
It was not often they drank together, but the elder Kurosaki sensed it was not going to be one of those nights they'd let themselves loose and be boisterous. Isshin had already set a bottle of sake and two glasses on the table, sitting himself down with an exaggerated sigh as he watched Ichigo take the seat opposite him.
Pouring him a drink, he cut right to the chase, “What's on your mind, son?”
The orange-haired took the glass, swirling the liquid inside, and took his time to contemplate.
For his part, Isshin could see that no amount of riling would get Ichigo to open up until he was ready, so he just steadily emptied his glass as he waited. Just as he was reaching for the bottle for his third serving, Ichigo finally broke his silence.
“I just found out I have a kid.”
Isshin almost stumbled, eyes widening, eyebrows flying up to his hairline, his hand falling to rest on the table. “Oh,” was all he could mutter, mind flickering back to the last relationship he had heard about. Nodding, he managed to fill his glass again, raising it with one hand and patting his son's shoulder with the other. “Congratulations to you and Nozomi-chan, then!” he boomed out heartily with an ecstatic chuckle before taking a huge sip of his drink. “Here I was kind of afraid because you're all doom and gloom, but this is great news! Hahaha...ha...” Isshin's laughter trailed off when he saw Ichigo hadn't joined in the celebration. “Isn't it? Don't tell me you're not happy about having a baby?”
The orange-haired shifted in his seat. “No, it's not that. It's not Nozomi. We've broken up a long time ago.” Finally raising the glass to his lips, he gulped down the liquid and wiped his lips with his sleeve. “My kid-son-he's actually four now.”
One dark eyebrow rose as Isshin did a mental calculation. If the kid was four years old, plus nine months of pregnancy, that meant he was conceived about five years ago... Five years... The only young woman he had heard about his son fancying back then was-
“Orihime-chan?” Isshin gasped, eyes widening, a huge grin stretching on his face. He slapped his hand on the table. “You dog! Hahaha! I knew you had it in you. You just made mine and your sisters' dreams come true by getting together with an Orihime-level girl with Orihime herself!”
Ichigo winced. “It's not her.”
“Eh?” A puzzled frown immediately bore down on Isshin's elation. “Come again?”
“It's Tatsuki.”
Isshin blinked and sunk back in his chair. “Oh.” He ran a hand over his face and smacked his lips as he thought about what to say.
“Tatsuki was away, living with Orihime all this time,” explained Ichigo. “She hadn't wanted me to know about him. And she had di-passed away-recently. And Inou-Orihime-came back here to bury her and tell me about Tatsuki's-our-son.”
“Oh.” The older man released a deep exhale. “Tatsuki-chan is dead, huh.”
Ichigo clenched his hands around his empty glass. “Yeah.”
“May she rest in peace,” mumbled Isshin. “And you just learned you had a kid with her.”
“Yeah.”
“But I thought it was Orihime-chan that you lov-”
“Yeah.” Ichigo ran both hands over his face and pulled at his hair. “Me and Tatsuki-it was a stupid night. We were both drunk.”
Isshin eyed the glass in front of Ichigo and pulled it away. The orange-haired gave him an annoyed look.
“So what now? What's going to happen with-with-? What's the kid's name?”
“Tatsunosuke.”
“Tatsunosuke, huh? That's a nice name. What's going to happen now between, well, all of you?”
“Well...I-I want to get to know him...”
“Of course, that's understandable. You missed out on a lot.”
“Yeah. I, uh, also want us-the three of us-to be a family.”
“Right. What about Orihime-chan?”
Ichigo swallowed. “I said to her that we should get married.”
Isshin nearly fell out of his chair, and blinking incessantly, couldn't help but look at his son as though he was a stranger. He reached for his glass and drank up the dregs, pondering about all the things he could say. It was obviously too late to lecture him about unprotected sex, too late to advise him about falling in love with one woman and then sleeping with another, and too late to offer counsel on raising a baby. People made mistakes. What was past had passed, and there was no turning back from it. It was an unfortunate part of life. But now, he could see that his son was presented with a chance to rectify what had happened. For now, what he could do was offer his support-and guidance in handling this delicate situation Ichigo found himself in.
“And what did Orihime-chan say to that?”
“I think she wanted to say no, but I told her I'll wait for her to think things through.”
The older man couldn't help letting out a sigh of relief. “Good. You didn't force the issue.”
Ichigo scowled. “What's that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. Nothing. Moving on.” Isshin waved his hands in dismissal, then leaned forward with a big smile and bright eyes. “You should bring them both here.”
“Here?”
“Yes. It's only natural to formally welcome them into the family.”
The scowl softened as Ichigo leaned back in his seat. “I guess.”
“Of course, of course! Why, like you, I missed out on my grandson too.” He sniffed. “Me? Already a grandfather.” He rose from his seat and made his way to his wife's poster on the wall. “We're grandparents, Masaki. Our son has given us our first grandchild.” He proceeded to sob loudly, sniffing into his sleeve before spreading his arms to embrace the poster.
The orange-haired looked up, a small smile lifting the corner of his lips despite himself. Somehow, seeing this, the familiarity of his father's goofy actions, he felt alleviated of the heaviness that had been weighing on him. Integrating both Orihime and Tatsunosuke into the Kurosaki household was the start that he hadn't known he was seeking. To make them all feel like a true family.
Ichigo reached for the bottle and poured the liquor into both their glasses, then raised his and clinked it against his father's on the table.
“Thanks...oyaji.”
==================================================
previous chapter | next chapter