Bleach fic, Weight of a Promise 7
title: Weight of a Promise chapter 7
author: caledon (the_tower_room)
pairing: Ichigo/Orihime
rating: T
summary: "All or nothing," she whispered to herself. Years ago, she'd made that decision. Her feelings overflowed, became too much for her to keep inside any longer, and she'd let them out, released them in words to the one man that had always held her heart.
words: 1716
On the bed, they laid face to face on their sides. With hands clasped tightly together, it was all she could do not to let her tears fall.
"Promise me?" implored Tatsuki.
Orihime could only nod in reply.
Tatsuki squeezed her hand in thanks, in goodbye. "Promise me you won't hate me?"
She shook her head. "You know I couldn't." Her voice broke as she said the words, and she swallowed in an effort to control herself. "After all this time, despite everything, you know I couldn't, Tatsuki-chan."
Her friend, the one she loved in all the world, looked sunken, weary, her skin seeming to recede into the bones that was being eaten away by disease. She watched her take in air with a struggle, her body shuddering even as she took what ever was left of her fading strength, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to voice out the remainder of all the things she felt she still had left to say, to mend.
"I envied you," Tatsuki finally managed. "I was happy for you when he finally started to fall in love with you, but a small part of me was jealous. I tried to stifle it, to beat it down because I shouldn't be feeling that way, and about you of all people, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop it. It grew. I hated it. I hated feeling that way about you, about Ichigo. But that small part of me just kept saying he was mine first. He met me first. We had known each other longer, and he should've been looking at me the way he was looking at you. And it hurt. So much. Because I love you, you know that, right, Orihime? I love you. And because I couldn't control how I felt, I ended up taking what should've been yours. I love you, but I had hurt you too much and I don't know why you stayed with me despite what I've done-"
"Shh, Tatsuki-chan." Orihime softly pressed a hand on her friend's lips, her other arm snaking around her to hold her close, tucking Tatsuki's head under her chin. "Please don't say anything anymore. Please don't say these things that will only make you feel worse. I love you, too. You're my family."
"But-"
Orihime shook her head, her hand gentle even as she applied a slight bit of pressure on Tatsuki's trembling lips, her mind churning with anything she could think of to say just so Tatsuki would stop talking. "I knew. I know you better than anyone else, Tatsuki-chan."
"I ruined your life. What could've been-"
"My life is complete. Here with you and Tatsunosuke. I don't need anyone else."
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for betraying you-"
"Hush now, don't say anything more."
"I took what was supposed to be yours, Orihime."
"Shh. There was nothing to take. I love you, Tatsuki-chan."
There was wetness on her fingers as tears slid down Tatsuki's cheeks. "Thank you, Orihime. You're more than I could ever deserve."
"Don't say that. Please."
"Tatsunosuke...you'll-?"
She nodded. "You don't need to ask. Of course, I will."
"Everything of his is now yours, Orihime. Everything. Even the decision to...to..."
"Tatsuki-chan."
"It's the least I can do. I'm out of the picture now."
"Tatsuki-chan."
"I love you, Orihime."
With Kurotatsu's hand in hers, they watched as Tatsuki's urn was placed alongside her parents' with utmost care, and the stone slab was slid into place under the small tower of the Arisawa family memorial. Beside her, the monk chanted the last rites, but Orihime couldn't make sense of the words, feeling numb, drained of everything as though all of her thoughts and feelings had been buried along with Tatsuki.
It wasn't until Kurotatsu tugged his hand from hers that she realized her grip on him had tightened, and he wrapped his short arms around her as he saw her expression.
"Mama, don't cry," he said.
Slowly, she pried her gaze from Tatsuki's resting place and down at the legacy she'd left, looking so much like her friend and so much like Kurosaki-kun. Little Kurotatsu blinked, startled, at the drop of tear that had fallen on his cheek from Orihime's eyes. Crouching down, she scooped him up and held him tightly, while he placed his hands on her cheeks so he could kiss the tip of her nose.
"See? All better. No more owie."
She couldn't help but smile, and nuzzled her face against his hair before leaning down to place him back on the ground. Belatedly, she realized that the monk and the cemetery worker had left, leaving just her and Kurotatsu to pay their last respects.
Placing a hand on his back, she whispered, "Say goodbye to kaa-chan, Kurotatsu."
He looked up at her. "Where's she going?"
"Remember when she had the big owie?"
He nodded.
"Well, she's with your grandparents now. She was really hurt by the big owie and she...she..."
"She's resting so she doesn't hurt from the owie anymore?"
All Orihime could do was nod back in return.
"Kaa-chan will come back when she's better, right, mama?"
Her face scrunched up and she turned away.
"Mama?"
"Kaa-chan...kaa-chan's in a better place now, Kurotatsu. But she really misses you."
A look of sadness crept over his face. "I miss kaa-chan, too."
As they made their way down the hill to the cemetery exit, they were greeted by Ichigo at the gate. Orihime's gait slowed, her pulse quickening, something akin to trepidation rising in her chest. She had been resolved to finalize certain resolutions when she decided to bring Tatsuki's remains to Karakura, but she hadn't expected them all to suddenly happen too fast too soon.
Hands in his pockets, he straightened from where he leaned against the stone post. "Inoue," he hailed softly.
She swallowed, mustering a slight upturn on the corner of her lip. "Kurosaki-kun."
He reached down to ruffle Kurotatsu's hair. "Hey, little guy."
Tatsunosuke gave him a small smile before ducking behind Orihime. "Hello, not-patou-chan."
Ichigo frowned, rubbing at the back of his head and releasing a nervous exhale. "Inoue, I just... um, just..."
"Kurosaki-kun?"
Eyes meeting hers, he licked his lips, finding his resolve to push down his nervousness. "I just want to say sorry for making him cry last night. I don't really know what 'patou-chan' is and he seems to think it's me, and I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to upset him." Releasing her gaze, he crouched down and peered over Orihime's hip. "Hi...Tatsunosuke, right? I'm sorry." He took something out of his pocket. "I forgot to give you your phone back. Here you go."
Orihime gasped as she eyed the hamburger-shaped cellphone that Kurotatsu took from Ichigo's hand.
Ichigo looked up, startled at the horrified way she was looking at the phone. "I-I didn't look, I swear." He stepped forward as though to take hold of her shoulders, stopping immediately when she backed away. "He was just showing me some pictures from it last night, saying something about how I'm 'patou-chan' and he handed it over and I forgot to give it back."
A trapped expression came over Orihime's face, alarming and confusing Ichigo, watching as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, her shoulders sagging.
When she opened them again, he could only read resignation there and he couldn't help the sudden pounding of his heart that seemed to sink deep down inside him with each beat.
"Kurosaki-kun..." her voice a husky whisper as she began, "there is something I have to tell you."
With Tatsunosuke in her lap, Orihime held her old cellphone, scrolling through pictures she'd taken of her friends back when their life seemed so much simpler. She stopped at the photograph of him, a painful spasm hitching inside her chest as her eyes traced over his features. Leaning her cheek on top of Tatsunosuke's head, she said, "Kurotatsu, this is your tou-chan. Say 'tou-chan'."
"Tou-chan."
Despite herself, a lump rose in her throat, but she managed to croak out, "Very good," to which Tatsunosuke turned to her to show his beaming face.
"Tou-chan," he repeated, pointing to the picture of Ichigo.
Even if Tatsuki didn't want Ichigo to know he had a son, Orihime wanted Tatsunosuke to know he had a father.
"That's right."
He took the phone from her grasp and held it in both his hands. "Tou-chan. Tou-chan."
"What are you doing?" Tatsuki leaned against the doorframe of her room.
"Kaa-chan!" yelled Tatsunosuke as he jumped down from Orihime's lap and ran towards Tatsuki to tackle her into a hug.
Smiling, the black-haired young woman held him up over her head, causing him to laugh out loud in delight before setting him back down. "What have you got there?"
With a huge grin, Tatsunosuke brandished the cellphone, pointing to Ichigo on the screen. "Tou-chan! See? This is tou-chan."
Tatsuki's smile froze in place as she looked over his head to Orihime. "I thought we talked about this."
"You said not to tell Kurosaki-kun about him, Tatsuki-chan. You never said anything about not telling him about Kurosaki-kun."
Tatsuki rubbed a palm over her face with an exasperated sigh, carrying Tatsunosuke with her and flopping down on the couch beside Orihime.
"I just thought it's best that he should know he has a father, Tatsuki-chan."
Her arms still around Tatsunosuke, the black-haired young woman peered over his shoulder to gaze at the screen, holding an expression Orihime couldn't name in her eyes before being shuttered away as though it hadn't been there.
"No, not 'tou-chan,'" countered Tatsuki. "Say 'papa.'"
Tatsunosuke turned his head towards her. "Papa?"
"Yes. This guy in the picture. He's your papa."
"Tatsuki-chan! You shouldn't confuse him."
"Yeah, well, you should've followed the naming scheme."
"I did." Orihime leaned over to point at the picture. "He's 'tou-chan,' Kurotatsu."
"No, he's 'papa.'"
"Tou-chan."
"Papa."
"Tou-chan."
"Papa."
"Tatsuki-chan, seriously!"
"I am serious, Orihime. You're his mama and Ichigo's his papa."
Orihime shook her head. "And he's 'Kurotatsu' because-"
Tatsuki shot her a look sharp enough to make her swallow the words. With a dejected sigh, she patted Tatsunosuke's head-the boy having gone silent as he listened to the argument between his mama and his kaa-chan.
"Call him 'patou-chan.'"
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previous chapter | next chapter
author: caledon (the_tower_room)
pairing: Ichigo/Orihime
rating: T
summary: "All or nothing," she whispered to herself. Years ago, she'd made that decision. Her feelings overflowed, became too much for her to keep inside any longer, and she'd let them out, released them in words to the one man that had always held her heart.
words: 1716
On the bed, they laid face to face on their sides. With hands clasped tightly together, it was all she could do not to let her tears fall.
"Promise me?" implored Tatsuki.
Orihime could only nod in reply.
Tatsuki squeezed her hand in thanks, in goodbye. "Promise me you won't hate me?"
She shook her head. "You know I couldn't." Her voice broke as she said the words, and she swallowed in an effort to control herself. "After all this time, despite everything, you know I couldn't, Tatsuki-chan."
Her friend, the one she loved in all the world, looked sunken, weary, her skin seeming to recede into the bones that was being eaten away by disease. She watched her take in air with a struggle, her body shuddering even as she took what ever was left of her fading strength, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to voice out the remainder of all the things she felt she still had left to say, to mend.
"I envied you," Tatsuki finally managed. "I was happy for you when he finally started to fall in love with you, but a small part of me was jealous. I tried to stifle it, to beat it down because I shouldn't be feeling that way, and about you of all people, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop it. It grew. I hated it. I hated feeling that way about you, about Ichigo. But that small part of me just kept saying he was mine first. He met me first. We had known each other longer, and he should've been looking at me the way he was looking at you. And it hurt. So much. Because I love you, you know that, right, Orihime? I love you. And because I couldn't control how I felt, I ended up taking what should've been yours. I love you, but I had hurt you too much and I don't know why you stayed with me despite what I've done-"
"Shh, Tatsuki-chan." Orihime softly pressed a hand on her friend's lips, her other arm snaking around her to hold her close, tucking Tatsuki's head under her chin. "Please don't say anything anymore. Please don't say these things that will only make you feel worse. I love you, too. You're my family."
"But-"
Orihime shook her head, her hand gentle even as she applied a slight bit of pressure on Tatsuki's trembling lips, her mind churning with anything she could think of to say just so Tatsuki would stop talking. "I knew. I know you better than anyone else, Tatsuki-chan."
"I ruined your life. What could've been-"
"My life is complete. Here with you and Tatsunosuke. I don't need anyone else."
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for betraying you-"
"Hush now, don't say anything more."
"I took what was supposed to be yours, Orihime."
"Shh. There was nothing to take. I love you, Tatsuki-chan."
There was wetness on her fingers as tears slid down Tatsuki's cheeks. "Thank you, Orihime. You're more than I could ever deserve."
"Don't say that. Please."
"Tatsunosuke...you'll-?"
She nodded. "You don't need to ask. Of course, I will."
"Everything of his is now yours, Orihime. Everything. Even the decision to...to..."
"Tatsuki-chan."
"It's the least I can do. I'm out of the picture now."
"Tatsuki-chan."
"I love you, Orihime."
With Kurotatsu's hand in hers, they watched as Tatsuki's urn was placed alongside her parents' with utmost care, and the stone slab was slid into place under the small tower of the Arisawa family memorial. Beside her, the monk chanted the last rites, but Orihime couldn't make sense of the words, feeling numb, drained of everything as though all of her thoughts and feelings had been buried along with Tatsuki.
It wasn't until Kurotatsu tugged his hand from hers that she realized her grip on him had tightened, and he wrapped his short arms around her as he saw her expression.
"Mama, don't cry," he said.
Slowly, she pried her gaze from Tatsuki's resting place and down at the legacy she'd left, looking so much like her friend and so much like Kurosaki-kun. Little Kurotatsu blinked, startled, at the drop of tear that had fallen on his cheek from Orihime's eyes. Crouching down, she scooped him up and held him tightly, while he placed his hands on her cheeks so he could kiss the tip of her nose.
"See? All better. No more owie."
She couldn't help but smile, and nuzzled her face against his hair before leaning down to place him back on the ground. Belatedly, she realized that the monk and the cemetery worker had left, leaving just her and Kurotatsu to pay their last respects.
Placing a hand on his back, she whispered, "Say goodbye to kaa-chan, Kurotatsu."
He looked up at her. "Where's she going?"
"Remember when she had the big owie?"
He nodded.
"Well, she's with your grandparents now. She was really hurt by the big owie and she...she..."
"She's resting so she doesn't hurt from the owie anymore?"
All Orihime could do was nod back in return.
"Kaa-chan will come back when she's better, right, mama?"
Her face scrunched up and she turned away.
"Mama?"
"Kaa-chan...kaa-chan's in a better place now, Kurotatsu. But she really misses you."
A look of sadness crept over his face. "I miss kaa-chan, too."
As they made their way down the hill to the cemetery exit, they were greeted by Ichigo at the gate. Orihime's gait slowed, her pulse quickening, something akin to trepidation rising in her chest. She had been resolved to finalize certain resolutions when she decided to bring Tatsuki's remains to Karakura, but she hadn't expected them all to suddenly happen too fast too soon.
Hands in his pockets, he straightened from where he leaned against the stone post. "Inoue," he hailed softly.
She swallowed, mustering a slight upturn on the corner of her lip. "Kurosaki-kun."
He reached down to ruffle Kurotatsu's hair. "Hey, little guy."
Tatsunosuke gave him a small smile before ducking behind Orihime. "Hello, not-patou-chan."
Ichigo frowned, rubbing at the back of his head and releasing a nervous exhale. "Inoue, I just... um, just..."
"Kurosaki-kun?"
Eyes meeting hers, he licked his lips, finding his resolve to push down his nervousness. "I just want to say sorry for making him cry last night. I don't really know what 'patou-chan' is and he seems to think it's me, and I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to upset him." Releasing her gaze, he crouched down and peered over Orihime's hip. "Hi...Tatsunosuke, right? I'm sorry." He took something out of his pocket. "I forgot to give you your phone back. Here you go."
Orihime gasped as she eyed the hamburger-shaped cellphone that Kurotatsu took from Ichigo's hand.
Ichigo looked up, startled at the horrified way she was looking at the phone. "I-I didn't look, I swear." He stepped forward as though to take hold of her shoulders, stopping immediately when she backed away. "He was just showing me some pictures from it last night, saying something about how I'm 'patou-chan' and he handed it over and I forgot to give it back."
A trapped expression came over Orihime's face, alarming and confusing Ichigo, watching as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, her shoulders sagging.
When she opened them again, he could only read resignation there and he couldn't help the sudden pounding of his heart that seemed to sink deep down inside him with each beat.
"Kurosaki-kun..." her voice a husky whisper as she began, "there is something I have to tell you."
With Tatsunosuke in her lap, Orihime held her old cellphone, scrolling through pictures she'd taken of her friends back when their life seemed so much simpler. She stopped at the photograph of him, a painful spasm hitching inside her chest as her eyes traced over his features. Leaning her cheek on top of Tatsunosuke's head, she said, "Kurotatsu, this is your tou-chan. Say 'tou-chan'."
"Tou-chan."
Despite herself, a lump rose in her throat, but she managed to croak out, "Very good," to which Tatsunosuke turned to her to show his beaming face.
"Tou-chan," he repeated, pointing to the picture of Ichigo.
Even if Tatsuki didn't want Ichigo to know he had a son, Orihime wanted Tatsunosuke to know he had a father.
"That's right."
He took the phone from her grasp and held it in both his hands. "Tou-chan. Tou-chan."
"What are you doing?" Tatsuki leaned against the doorframe of her room.
"Kaa-chan!" yelled Tatsunosuke as he jumped down from Orihime's lap and ran towards Tatsuki to tackle her into a hug.
Smiling, the black-haired young woman held him up over her head, causing him to laugh out loud in delight before setting him back down. "What have you got there?"
With a huge grin, Tatsunosuke brandished the cellphone, pointing to Ichigo on the screen. "Tou-chan! See? This is tou-chan."
Tatsuki's smile froze in place as she looked over his head to Orihime. "I thought we talked about this."
"You said not to tell Kurosaki-kun about him, Tatsuki-chan. You never said anything about not telling him about Kurosaki-kun."
Tatsuki rubbed a palm over her face with an exasperated sigh, carrying Tatsunosuke with her and flopping down on the couch beside Orihime.
"I just thought it's best that he should know he has a father, Tatsuki-chan."
Her arms still around Tatsunosuke, the black-haired young woman peered over his shoulder to gaze at the screen, holding an expression Orihime couldn't name in her eyes before being shuttered away as though it hadn't been there.
"No, not 'tou-chan,'" countered Tatsuki. "Say 'papa.'"
Tatsunosuke turned his head towards her. "Papa?"
"Yes. This guy in the picture. He's your papa."
"Tatsuki-chan! You shouldn't confuse him."
"Yeah, well, you should've followed the naming scheme."
"I did." Orihime leaned over to point at the picture. "He's 'tou-chan,' Kurotatsu."
"No, he's 'papa.'"
"Tou-chan."
"Papa."
"Tou-chan."
"Papa."
"Tatsuki-chan, seriously!"
"I am serious, Orihime. You're his mama and Ichigo's his papa."
Orihime shook her head. "And he's 'Kurotatsu' because-"
Tatsuki shot her a look sharp enough to make her swallow the words. With a dejected sigh, she patted Tatsunosuke's head-the boy having gone silent as he listened to the argument between his mama and his kaa-chan.
"Call him 'patou-chan.'"
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