Recovered Department of Misplaced Flora and Fauna
[Editor's note: This page is a slightly condensed reproduction of the front page for the Department of Misplaced Flora and Fauna. This website was deleted some time ago, and the authoress's new website does not contain the stories. She states in her FAQ that 'The Department of Misplaced Flora and Fauna is awaiting revision. Why? Because I feel it needs some revising, that's why. So what's taking so long? IOHITF is taking so long. This has priority, because a lot more people care about that than PPC:DMFF. Sad, but true.' True, perhaps, but I'm not going to be archiving IOHITF; for one, it's still up. For another, this is the PPC, and I'm only here to archive these lost PPC missions. Which will take up quite a series of posts to this community, hopefully that won't be too irritating.
So that's what I'm doing. This page is the DMFF front page, and the links link to all the recovered missions. As of 2017 - nine years after this was originally posted! - we finally have all of the DMFF missions posted, thanks to doctorlit's effort in obtaining 'I'll Be the One'. Also, I should note that some of the punctuation in the original 'fics has been rendered by time as a bunch of little squares. I've edited these back as best I can, but all accents have been lost, and there might be some mistakes. My apologies.
~huinesoron]
~~~~~
Welcome to the DMFF.
This Department of the PPC was set up at the time when I read a particularly bad LotR fic containing various creatures that did not belong in Middle-earth. I'm quite the purist, and the story mortally terrified me. Fortunately it was removed from the web. My career as an agent stranded for a while, and I returned to doing other useful things. Until recently a good idea popped into my mind and I found another terrible fic. There was no special department for the destroying of unicorns etc, so the DMFF was born. Here I will post every fic I come across and is so bad that I bother to PPC it. I'd appreciate criticism, I'll laugh at flames. If you think I should do a particular fic, or if you want to contact me for any reason whatsoever, feel free to do so. I also recommend that you read the Original Series, it might help to understand what the PPC really is.
The stories:
Baneful Melody - Horror at Middle-earth's newest creature: a nymph with WINGS.
I'll be the One [Offsite link. ~hS] - Mel and Joe argue like a married couple as they hunt down a unicorn. Yes, it's bad. For you, Bodldops!
The Earthborn: Guardian of time - Bush- and Westlife-mocking whilst chasing the worst Sue ever; misplaced flora and fauna combined.
Chosen of a Goddess - Two Sues in a crossover: chaos enSUES. Joe is stuck with two other agents and two goddesses. More chaos.
One of the crowd - A sylph-Sue with bad grammar, and a recruit doing Assassin's Exam.
Daughter of the Rings ( Part 1, Part 2) - The Diabolical Smurf-Sue of Doom rapes canon, and Joe suffers from UnCanon Infection. (long)
DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Lord of the Rings, neither book nor movies. It all belongs to respectively either Tolkien Enterprises or NewLine Productions. I do not own the PPC either, the idea belongs to Jay and Acacia. This is merely a spinoff. They also own Headquarters, Upstairs, the Sunflower Official, the Department of Mary Sues, the Department of Bad Slash, and in short all of the original PPC. This spinoff, though, belongs to ME, as do Mel, Joe, the Waterlily Commander and Bormir. Endomiel belongs to herself, Eru be thanked, as does Ril-Gania. The images displayed on this website are MINE. I made them, so don't take them unless you have my permission. I am not making money out of writing this in any way, so suing me would be pointless. Thank you.
~~~~~
[Editor's additional disclaimer: I do not claim any right or responsibility towards any DMFF material; these are the sole property of Elvea Aure, and are only archived here because they seem to have been otherwise lost. ~hS]
So that's what I'm doing. This page is the DMFF front page, and the links link to all the recovered missions. As of 2017 - nine years after this was originally posted! - we finally have all of the DMFF missions posted, thanks to doctorlit's effort in obtaining 'I'll Be the One'. Also, I should note that some of the punctuation in the original 'fics has been rendered by time as a bunch of little squares. I've edited these back as best I can, but all accents have been lost, and there might be some mistakes. My apologies.
~huinesoron]
~~~~~
Welcome to the DMFF.
This Department of the PPC was set up at the time when I read a particularly bad LotR fic containing various creatures that did not belong in Middle-earth. I'm quite the purist, and the story mortally terrified me. Fortunately it was removed from the web. My career as an agent stranded for a while, and I returned to doing other useful things. Until recently a good idea popped into my mind and I found another terrible fic. There was no special department for the destroying of unicorns etc, so the DMFF was born. Here I will post every fic I come across and is so bad that I bother to PPC it. I'd appreciate criticism, I'll laugh at flames. If you think I should do a particular fic, or if you want to contact me for any reason whatsoever, feel free to do so. I also recommend that you read the Original Series, it might help to understand what the PPC really is.
The stories:
Baneful Melody - Horror at Middle-earth's newest creature: a nymph with WINGS.
I'll be the One [Offsite link. ~hS] - Mel and Joe argue like a married couple as they hunt down a unicorn. Yes, it's bad. For you, Bodldops!
The Earthborn: Guardian of time - Bush- and Westlife-mocking whilst chasing the worst Sue ever; misplaced flora and fauna combined.
Chosen of a Goddess - Two Sues in a crossover: chaos enSUES. Joe is stuck with two other agents and two goddesses. More chaos.
One of the crowd - A sylph-Sue with bad grammar, and a recruit doing Assassin's Exam.
Daughter of the Rings ( Part 1, Part 2) - The Diabolical Smurf-Sue of Doom rapes canon, and Joe suffers from UnCanon Infection. (long)
DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Lord of the Rings, neither book nor movies. It all belongs to respectively either Tolkien Enterprises or NewLine Productions. I do not own the PPC either, the idea belongs to Jay and Acacia. This is merely a spinoff. They also own Headquarters, Upstairs, the Sunflower Official, the Department of Mary Sues, the Department of Bad Slash, and in short all of the original PPC. This spinoff, though, belongs to ME, as do Mel, Joe, the Waterlily Commander and Bormir. Endomiel belongs to herself, Eru be thanked, as does Ril-Gania. The images displayed on this website are MINE. I made them, so don't take them unless you have my permission. I am not making money out of writing this in any way, so suing me would be pointless. Thank you.
~~~~~
[Editor's additional disclaimer: I do not claim any right or responsibility towards any DMFF material; these are the sole property of Elvea Aure, and are only archived here because they seem to have been otherwise lost. ~hS]