Postbox: Holidays 2005 (3/3)
Title: Postbox [Holidays 2005; 3/3]
Author: sionnach-ayame & stardoll
Fandom/Pairing: Inception | Pre-Inception, Pre-Slash -- ULTIMATELY Arthur/Eames
[this part] Approx. Word Count: 4,500
Disclaimer: Inception? Not ours.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The holidays, Arthur/Eames style
Eames' Player: stardoll
Arthur's Player: sionnach-ayame
[this part] Occurs: December 2005
<< Holidays 2005: 2/3
DATE: December 28th, 2005
TIME: 9:02 PM GMT | 4:02 PM EST
CALL PLACED FROM: New York City
Credit: train--waiting
(START TRANSCRIPT)
EDWARD EAMES: Arthur? Well, isn't this a surprise.
ARTHUR DELAHEY: Hey Eames. I sent my letter out yesterday but I was a little impatient for it to arrive. How are you doing?
EAMES: Well, I'm flattered I'm in such high demand. I'm...alright...(cough) but how are you? Had a good Christmas?
DELAHEY: (laughs softly) You should be. (pause) I hope I'm not interrupting anything. I'm doing well. Had a quiet Christmas so I'm not complaining. How was yours?
EAMES: You're not interrupting, it's just that I find your phone calls to be pleasant surprises. (laughs) Remember how I said that my family's Christmas get-togethers tend to be loud, boisterous affairs? Yeah...about that...I think I'm still hung over.
DELAHEY: Oh, I definitely remember you telling me that. (laughs) Wow -- really? (surprised) It's been, what -- three days?
EAMES: At least we don't half-ass anything!
DELAHEY: No, you're completely right about that. (laughs) No one can accuse The Eames' of doing anything half-assed. Sounds like you had a good time.
EAMES: It's about the only time of the year I get to see my family, so I enjoy that, I guess. (pause) It's a shame that half of my family are under aged, and the other half are...well, kind of old. I should invite you out to one of our get-togethers...but only if you think you could handle it.
DELAHEY: (laughs) I'm sure I could handle it if I'm ever invited to one of your get-togethers. Is it only Christmas that all the Eames' get together?
EAMES: Well, that and Easter. There's just too many of us! It's the problem with having a Catholic family; they breed like bleeding rabbits - thank God I don't have any kids of my own (mutters) to my knowledge. (clears throat) I'm sure yours is more reasonably sized.
DELAHEY: (laughing, then pauses) Wait...what. (snorts) You don't know if you have any kids yourself? Wow. (long pause) As for me (clears throat) my family is much more...reasonably sized. Some aunts and uncles and some cousins but we don't get together very often. There are usually either loud arguments if everyone is in the same room together or polite silence.
EAMES: That's a shame, you guys need a little, ah, social lubrication and then the loud arguments will become less "argument" and more "loud". But ours is the English way, I suppose. We answer everything with alcohol.
And as for kids...well, no vagrant street urchins have wound up on my doorstep wearing a sign that read's "you're my daddy", so I assume the only living thing I have any real responsibility for is my dog! I'm fine with that. More than fine with that.
DELAHEY: Oh - we have the alcohol taken care of but when it comes down to it, there's antagonism between particular members of the family.
EAMES: Well, the obvious solution is come out to England for Easter and bypass arguing altogether (laughs)
DELAHEY: (laughs) I just might. (pauses) If that's a real invitation.
EAMES: Think about it, it would be fun! Or traumatic, I've yet to decide.
DELAHEY: Your family won't mind the extra person around?
EAMES: One more isn't going to throw off the balance. To be honest, most of them won't even notice that you're around. My Gran might, but she's a nosy gossip who likes to make assumptions.
DELAHEY: (laughs) Alright then. Why not? Sounds like fun!
EAMES: I'm going to hold you to that!
DELAHEY: You do that. I'm looking forward to it! So (coughs) What are your plans for New Years Eve? Any resolutions that you're bound to forget about after a month, just like everyone else?
EAMES: Parties. (groans) Sooo many parties...which, I guess, could be a resolution. Don't party as much. It's bad for my bank account and considering the kind of good time I make for myself, it's only a matter of time before I'm greeted by a vagrant street urchin on my doorstep.
DELAHEY: (laughing) Sounds like you have a plan.
EAMES: And I guarantee I won't remember half of them! (laughs) You have to have a resolution yourself. Everyone makes them. What's yours? Do less blow? Watch less porn? "Lose ten pounds?”
DELAHEY: My resolution? Hm, I don't know, actually -
EAMES: - so you're telling me you're the only person on the planet who doesn't use the New Years as an excuse to better yourself? Are you saying that you have no flaws? (laughs) I've always suspected that you were without flaws, but I never knew it was actually true!
DELAHEY: (laughs) I'm not saying that I'm without flaws. However, what I AM saying is that I feel you're less likely to follow through with any resolutions if you only designate the first day of the year as a moment of change in your life. You should want to continue to change regardless of the day, month or year...or maybe this is just a fancy way of saying, fuck resolutions. You pick. (laugh)
EAMES: You're too critical, you know that? (laughs)
DELAHEY: (laughs) Perhaps I am.
EAMES: Well, at least tell me you have an idea of what you plan to do to bring in 2006...unless it's go to bed early because New Years Day is just "another day".
DELAHEY: Nah, I have plans. I told a few people that I'd go out to a concert with them and watch the ball drop. Drink and do what young people do, you know.
EAMES: Ooooh, oh, of course, what young people do! (laughing)
DELAHEY: What do young people do in England? Or do you not remember? (chuckles)
EAMES: When in doubt, drink. (pause) I certainly do a lot of that, don't I? (laughs uncomfortably)
DELAHEY: So not too different from any other holiday then, hm? (grin) I guess New Years Eve is supposed to be some kind of reunion since it's the first New Years I'm actually back for. See some old friends and hopefully no ex's that I come into contact with.
EAMES: Hopefully?
DELAHEY: Sorry - awkward? (laughs uncomfortably)
EAMES: Well, it's not awkward, I mean, I run in a lot of the same circles that my ex's do, so I understand how that can be. Not a lot of fun.
DELAHEY: No, that isn't a lot of fun...(pause) Are you still friends with yours? Ex's that is.
EAMES: (pause) Well, I'm friendly to some. Others can die in a pit of fire for all I care. What about you?
DELAHEY: (pause) About the same. I have a couple that I'm friendly with but other's not so much, you know?
EAMES: Well, here's to jilted lovers, right? (laughs) Okay, so now I must know - worst ex story?
DELAHEY: (laughs) Right. (long pause) Well, let's just leave it at this -- I got mixed up with a daughter who's father was in the mob. It was a long, nasty and dirty relationship and while I now have some contacts from the whole thing, we...ah, well, WE did NOT work out.
EAMES: (long pause) Wow. How did you NOT get a horse head in your bed from that? (laughing) No, no, nonono you can't leave it at that, you're going to tell me the whole story. You have to.
DELAHEY: (laughs) Alright, so when I was sixteen, I worked at this Italian restaurant, right? The owners are old family friends and it...it was already pretty well-known that they had ties to the mob; we all know someone who knows someone with ties, you know? Anyway, there was this girl I was working with who I found attractive. I asked her out and she said yes and I find out on our first date that her father happened to be in the mob as well. Not as a boss but still in the ranks. Anyway, we dated on and off for a couple of years. More off than on but anyway - in the end, we didn't work out. My first car had to be replaced.
EAMES: (long, long pause) Wow. I had no idea. I'm impressed. (pause) But ah...just hanging out with you...it's not dangerous, is it? (laughs nervously) I won't have a hit out on me for no reason but guilt by association, will I?
DELAHEY: (pause) Of course not. My family is much more refined than hers.
EAMES: Well, so long as I - and you for that matter! - we - oh God...as long as we're safe from errant gunfire then...well, I've just dug myself into a hole, haven't I? (laughs again) Is your phone bugged?
DELAHEY: (laughs) No, it's not bugged. I've made sure my house is clean from all bugs. After the car incident, we had to have a meeting with her family. It was all cleared up years ago.
EAMES: (long pause) I still cannot get over this "car" incident you speak of. Did they...(lowers voice to a harsh whisper) BLOW it up?
DELAHEY: (pauses before laughing softly) They wanted to but I had been tipped off. In the end, we called in the bomb squad to take care of it safely. It helps to have people who like you I suppose. (pauses) So uh -- how about this fiancée of yours? What's the story about that?
EAMES: (long pause) Sorry, I just had a horrid visual of you EXPLODING in a car that the Mafia rigged. (clears throat) Alright, about that fiancée.
DELAHEY: (pauses) More than what you had envisioned for a messy ex-story? Sorry. (chuckles)
EAMES: I honestly shouldn't have asked. ANYWAY, about my fiancée. That was a really big mistake that snowballed from many little mistakes made up of many littler mistakes -
DELAHEY: - sounds about normal. Go on
EAMES: (snorts) Anyway, so there was this girl I had known for years. She was the neighborhood bicycle; everyone had a ride. ANYWAY, so it was during this limbo period in which I was between secondary school and enlisting in the military that I had a go at the bicycle. We were both...well, we had been drinking of course, and weeks later she comes to me and tells me that she thinks she's pregnant and - get this - she THINKS it's mine. She THINKS. And I'm like, you THINK and she says she THINKS and the next thing you know it I'm buying her a ring because I feel guilty and what if it is, yeah? Turns out she just had gas and she wasn't pregnant but she wanted to keep the ring anyway and I was planning to take it back from her and sell it for some good blow but that never happened. She still has my ring and JOKES ON HER it was cubic zirconium. Not really exciting, because no one got exploded, but...mistakes were made. AND I never got my blow.
DELAHEY: (long pause) Wow.
EAMES: I got the raw end of that deal. I even had to buy antibiotics later.
DELAHEY: I have one question.
EAMES: Shoot.
DELAHEY: Did you...USE protection? I mean when you're on a bicycle, you know what they say: You should wear protection in case you fall and get hurt -- or contract an STD.
EAMES: Protection? But that takes away all the feeling, dear.
DELAHEY: ...wow.
EAMES: Oh, like you never!
DELAHEY: No, I use protection because unlike you, I LIKE not having to go into a doctor's office to get an antibiotic for an...an...an unexplained rash or whatever it was that you got.
EAMES: Whatever, so it never burned when you pissed. Still doesn't make you above me. I have a life rich with experiences!
DELAHEY: (can't say anything due to laughter)
EAMES: (shouting over the laughter) EXPERIENCES!
DELAHEY: (more laughter, then coughs) AHEM.
EAMES: AN STD IS PREFERRABLE TO EXPLODING.
DELAHEY: (coughs after laughing a little more) I don't know - I like being STD free, because I can diffuse bombs.
EAMES: A prescription is what, a few pounds? Your priorities...they are...they are kind of backwards, dear. I mean, when you LOOK at a car bomb. How do you know what to diffuse? You talk as though you do this all the time! "What, me? Oh, nothing just diffusing a car bomb set by the mafia, how are you today?"
DELAHEY: (laughs) Well it IS close enough to the truth.
EAMES: (long pause)
DELAHEY: What? Oh come on, like you haven't learned how to diffuse bombs or pick locks or pick pocket from helpless travelers.
EAMES: The last two? Yes. Diffuse bombs? No, can't say I have.
DELAHEY: Well then, I will just have to teach you. You never know what can happen in this world we live in. Especially in mind crime.
EAMES: (long pause) Well, look at the time, I should go, see how the bicycle is doing.
DELAHEY: Give her my regards? And wear protection?
EAMES: Never. I just pull out real fast and cross my fingers.
DELAHEY: (long pause) Well, look at the time...
EAMES: I think it's worked so far! Don't judge me!
DELAHEY: Time to go find more bombs to diffuse.
EAMES: I hear you judging me.
DELAHEY: Takes one to know one.
EAMES: As a retort that doesn't even make sense! Are you insinuating that I'm a bomb or a judge? See? I'm confused!
DELAHEY: (pause)
EAMES: And you say I'm confusing.
DELAHEY: Were you BORN this way? Or is it a birth defect with the inbreeding?
EAMES: My mother is quite possibly my aunt, so you tell me. (pause) Arthur, it's time I told you the truth. I'm not of English breeding. I'm a swamp con. I have six fingers and I've done my sister.
DELAHEY: (laughing too hard to respond)
EAMES: Thank you for thinking that my birth defects are some kind of a joke. I only have to live with them.
DELAHEY: Where is the six finger? Up your ass?
EAMES: (pause) I wouldn't voluntarily put it there. (longer pause) Or maybe...nah.
DELAHEY: (pauses)
EAMES: You asked.
DELAHEY: I regret it.
EAMES: I regret plenty of other things too. Like the bulk of this conversation. How is it that we talk about these things? AND WHY DID YOU AGAIN BRING UP INCEST? Is there something you're not telling me? Does...does incest get your rocks off?
DELAHEY: I don't know (dryly) I don't have any brothers or sisters of my own, maybe I'm just...curious.
EAMES: What?
DELAHEY: (breezily) Are you the one judging now?
EAMES: I don't judge. I've played with everything and everyone.
DELAHEY: Even with your brothers and sisters?
EAMES: (chokes) Dear, that's awfully personal.
DELAHEY: But I thought we could talk about everything, dear.
EAMES: (balks) Well, not that!
DELAHEY: (laughing)
EAMES: Arthur, I have another secret to tell you. I have a three-headed monster baby. Product of incest. Are you curious NOW?
DELAHEY: The only thing I'm curious about is HOW that baby lived.
EAMES: Well, I can certainly tell you pulling out real fast and crossing my fingers didn't work that time.
DELAHEY: And you still didn't learn your lesson?
EAMES: I grew up Catholic. Condoms are the devil's dream catchers.
DELAHEY: Well that DOES explain everything! (laughing)
EAMES: (laughing) I'm certainly glad it cleared things up for you! I, for one, am still very confused.
DELAHEY: (laughing) What are you confused about then?
EAMES: Primarily how we GOT to this conversation. As enjoyable as it is, darling, I need to admit it's...it's rather fucked up! (laughing)
DELAHEY: (laughing) How do we EVER get to these sorts of conversations? It's a gift, it must be!
EAMES: Regrettably, it seems you stole my gift for mentioning sexual taboos. Merry Christmas!
DELAHEY: Thanks. I'm more than thankful for this gift.
EAMES: Be sure to use it in formal settings. It's how I would use it.
DELAHEY: I will keep that in mind for future reference.
EAMES: (maybe a little too gleeful) Easter! You'll use it during Easter! It's those family gatherings where the best bombs get dropped! Oh, look at that - bomb diffusing. (laugning) Very rarely do these type of bombs get diffused.
DELAHEY: (chuckles) Oh Easter will be a good time.
EAMES: Think of all the drunken bombs you can diffuse! Your skill can shine!
DELAHEY: Oh good. I had hoped I could continue practicing that particular skill. It would be unfortunate to become rusty, you know.
EAMES: Fuck, if anything that would be a skill I would expect you to practice every bleeding day. You never know when the Mafia is going to try to blow that pretty little head off those shoulders.
DELAHEY: So long as you don't do anything to them, they won't do anything to you.
EAMES: Yes, and so long as you don't continue to poke a rattler with a stick he will not take a bite out of you.
DELAHEY: You say potato...
EAMES: My God and I thought mine was the life rife with experiences. You've played in the mob!
DELAHEY: (chuckles) Yes well -- apparently both of our lives have been rather exciting, yeah?
EAMES: If I died tomorrow, I would hope for two things: that I would leave a lovely corpse and that I would have regretted NOTHING. At least I'm guaranteed to see one of the two to fruition.
DELAHEY: I will keep both of those in mind for future reference. I will file it under: Eames' death wish.
EAMES: More like end of life wishes. (laughs) My death wish - if I should so happen to choose how I would want to die - would reflect on a life well lived.
DELAHEY: (laughs) I see - in that case, I'm sure you will get your death wish, or...er...uh, living a life well lived. (pause) Haven't you done so thus far?
EAMES: Of course, but if I had to choose how I would die, I would want to go out with a bang! Don't tell me you wouldn't!
DELAHEY: Oh yeah? So what - would you choose to die while battling a lion or a fiery plane crash? Because there WOULD be a bang in the latter.
EAMES: Battling a lion! (pauses) No, scratch that. The fiery plane crash. Because then I could be in the bathroom with not one but TWO stewardesses. See how I did that? That's going out with a bang. Multiple bangs!
DELAHEY: (laughs) I would expect no less from you.
EAMES: Like you wouldn't! You pick: lions of planes? Except there's a bomb on the plane you can't diffuse! Ha!
DELAHEY: (pause) Plane.
EAMES: OH, HOW ANTICLIMATIC. WHY ARTHUR. WHY THE PLANE.
DELAHEY: Why NOT the plane?
EAMES: (pause)
DELAHEY: (pause)
EAMES: I can see you, sitting in first class, parusing a Newsweek, going, "Oh, fancy that, it seems the plane is crashing. Better make peace with the Lord." while I'm in the bathroom sticking it in not one but TWO stewardesses screaming, "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THIS IS AWESOME!" And who had the better bang?
DELAHEY: That would still be me.
EAMES: (pause) And you said you dated a human woman? Did you even see her tits?
DELAHEY: Yes but perhaps I'm not attracted to any of the stewardesses. Or perhaps I'm not interested in women?
EAMES: (long, long pause) You could always join us in the bathroom, Arthur. And we can have a right orgy. I mean, we're going to hypothetically die anyway. Why not die like Romans?
DELAHEY: (pauses) Dying in a plane crash...like the Romans?
EAMES: Well, having an orgy. Like the Romans.
DELAHEY: What is wrong with that sentence.
EAMES: We could fashion togas out of blankets.
DELAHEY: Have you BEEN on a plane at night before? Those blankets are not large enough to be togas.
EAMES: LIKE IT MATTERS IN AN ORGY ARTHUR WE'RE ALL FUCKING YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT FUN IS EVEN IN A HYPOTHETICAL. You know what, nevermind. Just nevermind.
DELAHEY: (laughing hard)
EAMES: I weep for your outlook on life and death.
DELAHEY: (laughing) I'm fucking with you.
EAMES: Well, you would be if you were joining the stewardesses and I when the plane goes down.
DELAHEY: So is that what gets you hot then? Thinking about a plane going down and fucking stewardesses? My and here I thought you had a far greater imagination.
EAMES: I'm 25.
DELAHEY: Exactly my point. Even I have hotter fantasies than fucking two chicks when I'm about to die.
EAMES: (pause) Do go on.
DELAHEY: (pause)
EAMES: Well, since obviously you are the master...and my fantasies are the equivalent of those of a twelve-year-old boy who listens to far too much Joy Division.
DELAHEY: I don't know - I've always had this thing for a professor/student sort of affair. You know, meeting in a classroom between periods or after school hours -- private lessons.
EAMES: How delightfully vanilla.
DELAHEY: And you're emo, what of it?
EAMES: No, I get off on adrenaline!
DELAHEY: ...when you're going to die?
EAMES: No bigger adrenaline rush!
DELAHEY: I'm pretty sure they have a name for your kind.
EAMES: And who said it was a FANTASY it was merely a hypothetical situation! You haven't even BEGUN to hear my fantasies.
DELAHEY: Oh? Do tell.
EAMES: BDSM in fursuits.
DELAHEY: (pauses) Yes, they have a name for your kind.
EAMES: I wanna be tied up, Arthur. Tied up in my little fox suit. Tied up and beaten. Like a bad fox. (pause) Oh. God. (longer pause) That's horrible. (chokes) That's how they make coats.
DELAHEY: (laughing hard) You've been a bad, bad fox, Eddie.
EAMES: PLEASE NO I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR. I want to frolic in the forest! I don't want to be a lady's coat!
DELAHEY: (laughing) Yes, I can see how mine would be vanilla in comparison to bdsm in fursuits. Good luck finding...a mate.
EAMES: Yiff yiff, Arthur.
DELAHEY: I'm hanging up now. (laughing hard)
EAMES: NO YOU AREN'T. I would sixty-nine you or whatever that service is over there. The one where you call someone back. Am I saying that right?
DELAHEY: (pauses before not being able to answer back because of laughing so hard)
EAMES: WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING. (laughing) This is...this is a serious question!
DELAHEY: (laughing) You can sixty-nine me anytime, baby but that is not what that service is called.
EAMES: WELL IF THAT IS AN INVITATION DUST OFF THE FURSUIT DARLING AND LET'S HOP IN A PLANE.
DELAHEY: (laughing hard)
EAMES: (trying to talk but laughing too hard) You can be the hunter, I can be the fox
DELAHEY: (laughing too hard) The -- the only one wearing a suit will be you. I am not doing anything remotely in concordance with animals.
EAMES: (laughing too hard) You've never triiiied.
DELAHEY: (laughing too hard and pauses) I'm hanging up now.
EAMES: Fine, fine, enjoy your vanilla school boy fantasies and your Newsweek!
DELAHEY: (laughs) I will, Mr. Fox.
EAMES: It's Foxy to you! (growls)
DELAHEY: (pauses and laughs softly) Indeed.
EAMES: I should probably let you go, the long distance charge is going to be outrageous. But don't let that keep you from calling. I wouldn't want to have to sixty-nine you.
DELAHEY: (laughing) That would be star sixty-nine, Mr. Eames. Sixty-nining someone is a sex position. (coughs) The charge will be worth it considering. It has been a very interesting phone conversation.
EAMES: Well of course! That's why I would have figured the fucking number would have been easy to remember! And yes, I agree, this has been a...fascinating...phone call.
DELAHEY: That it has. (laughs) Alright, have a good New Years, alright? I'll talk to you again soon.
EAMES: Alright, I'll talk to you later. Have a good evening, dear. Don't let the Newsweek excite you too much!
DELAHEY: I'll really try not to. They do have an article about The MySpace Guys that I'm just dying to read. But I will try to hold off. (laughs) Have a good evening, Mr. Eames.
(END TRANSCRIPT)
---
DATE: December 31st, 2005 - January 1st, 2006
TRANSCRIPT FROM ARTHUR'S VOICEMAIL INBOX
(GMT)
DECEMBER 31, 2005
(11:34pm)
(17 sec.) H-e-e-e-y, I'm sorry, I forgot what time it is over there b-u-u-u-t I really wanted to call so I could be the first to wish you a HAPPY NEW YE-A-AR and I hope you have an excellent 2006, mate!
- - -
JANUARY 1, 2006
(12:53am)
(42 seconds) OH GOD DID I CALL YOU I can't remember if I called so so I'M GOING TO CALL YOU and tell you HAPPY NEW YEAR. Right now! Right now I'm going to call you and...oh...is, is it New Year in New York OH GOD THAT IS SO FUNNY! New Year, New York, wow...wow...that's brilliant, that's - that - well, ah (inaudible) ok so I'mma do a shot for you, since you're not HERE and you're missing a GREAT PARTY. (suddenly yelling for no apparent reason) GOD. WHY DO YOU MISS ALL THE GREAT PARTIES I BET YOU'RE NOT EVEN AWAKE I BET - I - I - BET YOU WENT TO SLEEP AT NINE BECAUSE YOU DON'T (inaudible garbling for sixteen seconds). I love you b-y-e-e-e-e-!
- - -
JANUARY 1, 2006
(2:47am)
(23 seconds) Ookaaay, so...so...um...(silence for ten seconds) SO! I called you because...cuz...so...I have this THING this thing I need to...and I don't know where I am? Where am I?
- - -
Arthur Delahey (Mobile) - 10:01 p.m. EST
Happy New Year, Eddie! I hope you made it to wherever you were going safely. Have a good one!
Eddie Eames (Mobile):
3:10 a.m. GMT: O god wsts inthsi drinkv
3:25 a.m. GMT: Tisgrild says shesaclean do i trusd herv
3:33 a.m. GMT: I dontwant eherpes.
DELAHEY (Mobile): 10:40 p.m. EST:
Who? What? God - how much have you had to drink?
JANUARY 1, 2006 - 2:22 a.m. EST
(7:22am)
(63 seconds) (incoherent garbling for the duration of the phone call - phone is assumed to be held upside down)
DELAHEY (Mobile): 2:25 a.m. EST:
Could have sworn you had passed out by now. Doing all right?
---
EAMES (Mobile): 8:45 am (GMT)
Hi, I'm assuming you're a friend of Eddie's. Eddie's in the hospital and won't be available for awhile. He'll be okay so don't worry - his sister
DELAHEY (Mobile): 4:00 a.m. EST
What. What happened?? Um - I'm glad he's okay though. Thank you for telling me.
EAMES (Mobile): 9:05 am (GMT)
Well, what happened is he succumbed to alcohol poisoning and needs his stomach pumped. But he'll be okay. When he comes to I'll tell him you send your regards. Will that be okay? - Sis
DELAHEY (Mobile): 4:07 am EST
That fucking idiot. Yes, that would be fine. Thank you.
EAMES (Mobile): 9:09 am (GMT)
He certainly is. - Sis
DELAHEY (Mobile): 4:11 am EST
Glad to see someone agree. Thanks again.
The Jeremy Job (2006): 1/? >>
Author: sionnach-ayame & stardoll
Fandom/Pairing: Inception | Pre-Inception, Pre-Slash -- ULTIMATELY Arthur/Eames
[this part] Approx. Word Count: 4,500
Disclaimer: Inception? Not ours.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The holidays, Arthur/Eames style
Eames' Player: stardoll
Arthur's Player: sionnach-ayame
[this part] Occurs: December 2005
<< Holidays 2005: 2/3
DATE: December 28th, 2005
TIME: 9:02 PM GMT | 4:02 PM EST
CALL PLACED FROM: New York City
Credit: train--waiting
(START TRANSCRIPT)
EDWARD EAMES: Arthur? Well, isn't this a surprise.
ARTHUR DELAHEY: Hey Eames. I sent my letter out yesterday but I was a little impatient for it to arrive. How are you doing?
EAMES: Well, I'm flattered I'm in such high demand. I'm...alright...(cough) but how are you? Had a good Christmas?
DELAHEY: (laughs softly) You should be. (pause) I hope I'm not interrupting anything. I'm doing well. Had a quiet Christmas so I'm not complaining. How was yours?
EAMES: You're not interrupting, it's just that I find your phone calls to be pleasant surprises. (laughs) Remember how I said that my family's Christmas get-togethers tend to be loud, boisterous affairs? Yeah...about that...I think I'm still hung over.
DELAHEY: Oh, I definitely remember you telling me that. (laughs) Wow -- really? (surprised) It's been, what -- three days?
EAMES: At least we don't half-ass anything!
DELAHEY: No, you're completely right about that. (laughs) No one can accuse The Eames' of doing anything half-assed. Sounds like you had a good time.
EAMES: It's about the only time of the year I get to see my family, so I enjoy that, I guess. (pause) It's a shame that half of my family are under aged, and the other half are...well, kind of old. I should invite you out to one of our get-togethers...but only if you think you could handle it.
DELAHEY: (laughs) I'm sure I could handle it if I'm ever invited to one of your get-togethers. Is it only Christmas that all the Eames' get together?
EAMES: Well, that and Easter. There's just too many of us! It's the problem with having a Catholic family; they breed like bleeding rabbits - thank God I don't have any kids of my own (mutters) to my knowledge. (clears throat) I'm sure yours is more reasonably sized.
DELAHEY: (laughing, then pauses) Wait...what. (snorts) You don't know if you have any kids yourself? Wow. (long pause) As for me (clears throat) my family is much more...reasonably sized. Some aunts and uncles and some cousins but we don't get together very often. There are usually either loud arguments if everyone is in the same room together or polite silence.
EAMES: That's a shame, you guys need a little, ah, social lubrication and then the loud arguments will become less "argument" and more "loud". But ours is the English way, I suppose. We answer everything with alcohol.
And as for kids...well, no vagrant street urchins have wound up on my doorstep wearing a sign that read's "you're my daddy", so I assume the only living thing I have any real responsibility for is my dog! I'm fine with that. More than fine with that.
DELAHEY: Oh - we have the alcohol taken care of but when it comes down to it, there's antagonism between particular members of the family.
EAMES: Well, the obvious solution is come out to England for Easter and bypass arguing altogether (laughs)
DELAHEY: (laughs) I just might. (pauses) If that's a real invitation.
EAMES: Think about it, it would be fun! Or traumatic, I've yet to decide.
DELAHEY: Your family won't mind the extra person around?
EAMES: One more isn't going to throw off the balance. To be honest, most of them won't even notice that you're around. My Gran might, but she's a nosy gossip who likes to make assumptions.
DELAHEY: (laughs) Alright then. Why not? Sounds like fun!
EAMES: I'm going to hold you to that!
DELAHEY: You do that. I'm looking forward to it! So (coughs) What are your plans for New Years Eve? Any resolutions that you're bound to forget about after a month, just like everyone else?
EAMES: Parties. (groans) Sooo many parties...which, I guess, could be a resolution. Don't party as much. It's bad for my bank account and considering the kind of good time I make for myself, it's only a matter of time before I'm greeted by a vagrant street urchin on my doorstep.
DELAHEY: (laughing) Sounds like you have a plan.
EAMES: And I guarantee I won't remember half of them! (laughs) You have to have a resolution yourself. Everyone makes them. What's yours? Do less blow? Watch less porn? "Lose ten pounds?”
DELAHEY: My resolution? Hm, I don't know, actually -
EAMES: - so you're telling me you're the only person on the planet who doesn't use the New Years as an excuse to better yourself? Are you saying that you have no flaws? (laughs) I've always suspected that you were without flaws, but I never knew it was actually true!
DELAHEY: (laughs) I'm not saying that I'm without flaws. However, what I AM saying is that I feel you're less likely to follow through with any resolutions if you only designate the first day of the year as a moment of change in your life. You should want to continue to change regardless of the day, month or year...or maybe this is just a fancy way of saying, fuck resolutions. You pick. (laugh)
EAMES: You're too critical, you know that? (laughs)
DELAHEY: (laughs) Perhaps I am.
EAMES: Well, at least tell me you have an idea of what you plan to do to bring in 2006...unless it's go to bed early because New Years Day is just "another day".
DELAHEY: Nah, I have plans. I told a few people that I'd go out to a concert with them and watch the ball drop. Drink and do what young people do, you know.
EAMES: Ooooh, oh, of course, what young people do! (laughing)
DELAHEY: What do young people do in England? Or do you not remember? (chuckles)
EAMES: When in doubt, drink. (pause) I certainly do a lot of that, don't I? (laughs uncomfortably)
DELAHEY: So not too different from any other holiday then, hm? (grin) I guess New Years Eve is supposed to be some kind of reunion since it's the first New Years I'm actually back for. See some old friends and hopefully no ex's that I come into contact with.
EAMES: Hopefully?
DELAHEY: Sorry - awkward? (laughs uncomfortably)
EAMES: Well, it's not awkward, I mean, I run in a lot of the same circles that my ex's do, so I understand how that can be. Not a lot of fun.
DELAHEY: No, that isn't a lot of fun...(pause) Are you still friends with yours? Ex's that is.
EAMES: (pause) Well, I'm friendly to some. Others can die in a pit of fire for all I care. What about you?
DELAHEY: (pause) About the same. I have a couple that I'm friendly with but other's not so much, you know?
EAMES: Well, here's to jilted lovers, right? (laughs) Okay, so now I must know - worst ex story?
DELAHEY: (laughs) Right. (long pause) Well, let's just leave it at this -- I got mixed up with a daughter who's father was in the mob. It was a long, nasty and dirty relationship and while I now have some contacts from the whole thing, we...ah, well, WE did NOT work out.
EAMES: (long pause) Wow. How did you NOT get a horse head in your bed from that? (laughing) No, no, nonono you can't leave it at that, you're going to tell me the whole story. You have to.
DELAHEY: (laughs) Alright, so when I was sixteen, I worked at this Italian restaurant, right? The owners are old family friends and it...it was already pretty well-known that they had ties to the mob; we all know someone who knows someone with ties, you know? Anyway, there was this girl I was working with who I found attractive. I asked her out and she said yes and I find out on our first date that her father happened to be in the mob as well. Not as a boss but still in the ranks. Anyway, we dated on and off for a couple of years. More off than on but anyway - in the end, we didn't work out. My first car had to be replaced.
EAMES: (long, long pause) Wow. I had no idea. I'm impressed. (pause) But ah...just hanging out with you...it's not dangerous, is it? (laughs nervously) I won't have a hit out on me for no reason but guilt by association, will I?
DELAHEY: (pause) Of course not. My family is much more refined than hers.
EAMES: Well, so long as I - and you for that matter! - we - oh God...as long as we're safe from errant gunfire then...well, I've just dug myself into a hole, haven't I? (laughs again) Is your phone bugged?
DELAHEY: (laughs) No, it's not bugged. I've made sure my house is clean from all bugs. After the car incident, we had to have a meeting with her family. It was all cleared up years ago.
EAMES: (long pause) I still cannot get over this "car" incident you speak of. Did they...(lowers voice to a harsh whisper) BLOW it up?
DELAHEY: (pauses before laughing softly) They wanted to but I had been tipped off. In the end, we called in the bomb squad to take care of it safely. It helps to have people who like you I suppose. (pauses) So uh -- how about this fiancée of yours? What's the story about that?
EAMES: (long pause) Sorry, I just had a horrid visual of you EXPLODING in a car that the Mafia rigged. (clears throat) Alright, about that fiancée.
DELAHEY: (pauses) More than what you had envisioned for a messy ex-story? Sorry. (chuckles)
EAMES: I honestly shouldn't have asked. ANYWAY, about my fiancée. That was a really big mistake that snowballed from many little mistakes made up of many littler mistakes -
DELAHEY: - sounds about normal. Go on
EAMES: (snorts) Anyway, so there was this girl I had known for years. She was the neighborhood bicycle; everyone had a ride. ANYWAY, so it was during this limbo period in which I was between secondary school and enlisting in the military that I had a go at the bicycle. We were both...well, we had been drinking of course, and weeks later she comes to me and tells me that she thinks she's pregnant and - get this - she THINKS it's mine. She THINKS. And I'm like, you THINK and she says she THINKS and the next thing you know it I'm buying her a ring because I feel guilty and what if it is, yeah? Turns out she just had gas and she wasn't pregnant but she wanted to keep the ring anyway and I was planning to take it back from her and sell it for some good blow but that never happened. She still has my ring and JOKES ON HER it was cubic zirconium. Not really exciting, because no one got exploded, but...mistakes were made. AND I never got my blow.
DELAHEY: (long pause) Wow.
EAMES: I got the raw end of that deal. I even had to buy antibiotics later.
DELAHEY: I have one question.
EAMES: Shoot.
DELAHEY: Did you...USE protection? I mean when you're on a bicycle, you know what they say: You should wear protection in case you fall and get hurt -- or contract an STD.
EAMES: Protection? But that takes away all the feeling, dear.
DELAHEY: ...wow.
EAMES: Oh, like you never!
DELAHEY: No, I use protection because unlike you, I LIKE not having to go into a doctor's office to get an antibiotic for an...an...an unexplained rash or whatever it was that you got.
EAMES: Whatever, so it never burned when you pissed. Still doesn't make you above me. I have a life rich with experiences!
DELAHEY: (can't say anything due to laughter)
EAMES: (shouting over the laughter) EXPERIENCES!
DELAHEY: (more laughter, then coughs) AHEM.
EAMES: AN STD IS PREFERRABLE TO EXPLODING.
DELAHEY: (coughs after laughing a little more) I don't know - I like being STD free, because I can diffuse bombs.
EAMES: A prescription is what, a few pounds? Your priorities...they are...they are kind of backwards, dear. I mean, when you LOOK at a car bomb. How do you know what to diffuse? You talk as though you do this all the time! "What, me? Oh, nothing just diffusing a car bomb set by the mafia, how are you today?"
DELAHEY: (laughs) Well it IS close enough to the truth.
EAMES: (long pause)
DELAHEY: What? Oh come on, like you haven't learned how to diffuse bombs or pick locks or pick pocket from helpless travelers.
EAMES: The last two? Yes. Diffuse bombs? No, can't say I have.
DELAHEY: Well then, I will just have to teach you. You never know what can happen in this world we live in. Especially in mind crime.
EAMES: (long pause) Well, look at the time, I should go, see how the bicycle is doing.
DELAHEY: Give her my regards? And wear protection?
EAMES: Never. I just pull out real fast and cross my fingers.
DELAHEY: (long pause) Well, look at the time...
EAMES: I think it's worked so far! Don't judge me!
DELAHEY: Time to go find more bombs to diffuse.
EAMES: I hear you judging me.
DELAHEY: Takes one to know one.
EAMES: As a retort that doesn't even make sense! Are you insinuating that I'm a bomb or a judge? See? I'm confused!
DELAHEY: (pause)
EAMES: And you say I'm confusing.
DELAHEY: Were you BORN this way? Or is it a birth defect with the inbreeding?
EAMES: My mother is quite possibly my aunt, so you tell me. (pause) Arthur, it's time I told you the truth. I'm not of English breeding. I'm a swamp con. I have six fingers and I've done my sister.
DELAHEY: (laughing too hard to respond)
EAMES: Thank you for thinking that my birth defects are some kind of a joke. I only have to live with them.
DELAHEY: Where is the six finger? Up your ass?
EAMES: (pause) I wouldn't voluntarily put it there. (longer pause) Or maybe...nah.
DELAHEY: (pauses)
EAMES: You asked.
DELAHEY: I regret it.
EAMES: I regret plenty of other things too. Like the bulk of this conversation. How is it that we talk about these things? AND WHY DID YOU AGAIN BRING UP INCEST? Is there something you're not telling me? Does...does incest get your rocks off?
DELAHEY: I don't know (dryly) I don't have any brothers or sisters of my own, maybe I'm just...curious.
EAMES: What?
DELAHEY: (breezily) Are you the one judging now?
EAMES: I don't judge. I've played with everything and everyone.
DELAHEY: Even with your brothers and sisters?
EAMES: (chokes) Dear, that's awfully personal.
DELAHEY: But I thought we could talk about everything, dear.
EAMES: (balks) Well, not that!
DELAHEY: (laughing)
EAMES: Arthur, I have another secret to tell you. I have a three-headed monster baby. Product of incest. Are you curious NOW?
DELAHEY: The only thing I'm curious about is HOW that baby lived.
EAMES: Well, I can certainly tell you pulling out real fast and crossing my fingers didn't work that time.
DELAHEY: And you still didn't learn your lesson?
EAMES: I grew up Catholic. Condoms are the devil's dream catchers.
DELAHEY: Well that DOES explain everything! (laughing)
EAMES: (laughing) I'm certainly glad it cleared things up for you! I, for one, am still very confused.
DELAHEY: (laughing) What are you confused about then?
EAMES: Primarily how we GOT to this conversation. As enjoyable as it is, darling, I need to admit it's...it's rather fucked up! (laughing)
DELAHEY: (laughing) How do we EVER get to these sorts of conversations? It's a gift, it must be!
EAMES: Regrettably, it seems you stole my gift for mentioning sexual taboos. Merry Christmas!
DELAHEY: Thanks. I'm more than thankful for this gift.
EAMES: Be sure to use it in formal settings. It's how I would use it.
DELAHEY: I will keep that in mind for future reference.
EAMES: (maybe a little too gleeful) Easter! You'll use it during Easter! It's those family gatherings where the best bombs get dropped! Oh, look at that - bomb diffusing. (laugning) Very rarely do these type of bombs get diffused.
DELAHEY: (chuckles) Oh Easter will be a good time.
EAMES: Think of all the drunken bombs you can diffuse! Your skill can shine!
DELAHEY: Oh good. I had hoped I could continue practicing that particular skill. It would be unfortunate to become rusty, you know.
EAMES: Fuck, if anything that would be a skill I would expect you to practice every bleeding day. You never know when the Mafia is going to try to blow that pretty little head off those shoulders.
DELAHEY: So long as you don't do anything to them, they won't do anything to you.
EAMES: Yes, and so long as you don't continue to poke a rattler with a stick he will not take a bite out of you.
DELAHEY: You say potato...
EAMES: My God and I thought mine was the life rife with experiences. You've played in the mob!
DELAHEY: (chuckles) Yes well -- apparently both of our lives have been rather exciting, yeah?
EAMES: If I died tomorrow, I would hope for two things: that I would leave a lovely corpse and that I would have regretted NOTHING. At least I'm guaranteed to see one of the two to fruition.
DELAHEY: I will keep both of those in mind for future reference. I will file it under: Eames' death wish.
EAMES: More like end of life wishes. (laughs) My death wish - if I should so happen to choose how I would want to die - would reflect on a life well lived.
DELAHEY: (laughs) I see - in that case, I'm sure you will get your death wish, or...er...uh, living a life well lived. (pause) Haven't you done so thus far?
EAMES: Of course, but if I had to choose how I would die, I would want to go out with a bang! Don't tell me you wouldn't!
DELAHEY: Oh yeah? So what - would you choose to die while battling a lion or a fiery plane crash? Because there WOULD be a bang in the latter.
EAMES: Battling a lion! (pauses) No, scratch that. The fiery plane crash. Because then I could be in the bathroom with not one but TWO stewardesses. See how I did that? That's going out with a bang. Multiple bangs!
DELAHEY: (laughs) I would expect no less from you.
EAMES: Like you wouldn't! You pick: lions of planes? Except there's a bomb on the plane you can't diffuse! Ha!
DELAHEY: (pause) Plane.
EAMES: OH, HOW ANTICLIMATIC. WHY ARTHUR. WHY THE PLANE.
DELAHEY: Why NOT the plane?
EAMES: (pause)
DELAHEY: (pause)
EAMES: I can see you, sitting in first class, parusing a Newsweek, going, "Oh, fancy that, it seems the plane is crashing. Better make peace with the Lord." while I'm in the bathroom sticking it in not one but TWO stewardesses screaming, "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THIS IS AWESOME!" And who had the better bang?
DELAHEY: That would still be me.
EAMES: (pause) And you said you dated a human woman? Did you even see her tits?
DELAHEY: Yes but perhaps I'm not attracted to any of the stewardesses. Or perhaps I'm not interested in women?
EAMES: (long, long pause) You could always join us in the bathroom, Arthur. And we can have a right orgy. I mean, we're going to hypothetically die anyway. Why not die like Romans?
DELAHEY: (pauses) Dying in a plane crash...like the Romans?
EAMES: Well, having an orgy. Like the Romans.
DELAHEY: What is wrong with that sentence.
EAMES: We could fashion togas out of blankets.
DELAHEY: Have you BEEN on a plane at night before? Those blankets are not large enough to be togas.
EAMES: LIKE IT MATTERS IN AN ORGY ARTHUR WE'RE ALL FUCKING YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT FUN IS EVEN IN A HYPOTHETICAL. You know what, nevermind. Just nevermind.
DELAHEY: (laughing hard)
EAMES: I weep for your outlook on life and death.
DELAHEY: (laughing) I'm fucking with you.
EAMES: Well, you would be if you were joining the stewardesses and I when the plane goes down.
DELAHEY: So is that what gets you hot then? Thinking about a plane going down and fucking stewardesses? My and here I thought you had a far greater imagination.
EAMES: I'm 25.
DELAHEY: Exactly my point. Even I have hotter fantasies than fucking two chicks when I'm about to die.
EAMES: (pause) Do go on.
DELAHEY: (pause)
EAMES: Well, since obviously you are the master...and my fantasies are the equivalent of those of a twelve-year-old boy who listens to far too much Joy Division.
DELAHEY: I don't know - I've always had this thing for a professor/student sort of affair. You know, meeting in a classroom between periods or after school hours -- private lessons.
EAMES: How delightfully vanilla.
DELAHEY: And you're emo, what of it?
EAMES: No, I get off on adrenaline!
DELAHEY: ...when you're going to die?
EAMES: No bigger adrenaline rush!
DELAHEY: I'm pretty sure they have a name for your kind.
EAMES: And who said it was a FANTASY it was merely a hypothetical situation! You haven't even BEGUN to hear my fantasies.
DELAHEY: Oh? Do tell.
EAMES: BDSM in fursuits.
DELAHEY: (pauses) Yes, they have a name for your kind.
EAMES: I wanna be tied up, Arthur. Tied up in my little fox suit. Tied up and beaten. Like a bad fox. (pause) Oh. God. (longer pause) That's horrible. (chokes) That's how they make coats.
DELAHEY: (laughing hard) You've been a bad, bad fox, Eddie.
EAMES: PLEASE NO I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR. I want to frolic in the forest! I don't want to be a lady's coat!
DELAHEY: (laughing) Yes, I can see how mine would be vanilla in comparison to bdsm in fursuits. Good luck finding...a mate.
EAMES: Yiff yiff, Arthur.
DELAHEY: I'm hanging up now. (laughing hard)
EAMES: NO YOU AREN'T. I would sixty-nine you or whatever that service is over there. The one where you call someone back. Am I saying that right?
DELAHEY: (pauses before not being able to answer back because of laughing so hard)
EAMES: WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING. (laughing) This is...this is a serious question!
DELAHEY: (laughing) You can sixty-nine me anytime, baby but that is not what that service is called.
EAMES: WELL IF THAT IS AN INVITATION DUST OFF THE FURSUIT DARLING AND LET'S HOP IN A PLANE.
DELAHEY: (laughing hard)
EAMES: (trying to talk but laughing too hard) You can be the hunter, I can be the fox
DELAHEY: (laughing too hard) The -- the only one wearing a suit will be you. I am not doing anything remotely in concordance with animals.
EAMES: (laughing too hard) You've never triiiied.
DELAHEY: (laughing too hard and pauses) I'm hanging up now.
EAMES: Fine, fine, enjoy your vanilla school boy fantasies and your Newsweek!
DELAHEY: (laughs) I will, Mr. Fox.
EAMES: It's Foxy to you! (growls)
DELAHEY: (pauses and laughs softly) Indeed.
EAMES: I should probably let you go, the long distance charge is going to be outrageous. But don't let that keep you from calling. I wouldn't want to have to sixty-nine you.
DELAHEY: (laughing) That would be star sixty-nine, Mr. Eames. Sixty-nining someone is a sex position. (coughs) The charge will be worth it considering. It has been a very interesting phone conversation.
EAMES: Well of course! That's why I would have figured the fucking number would have been easy to remember! And yes, I agree, this has been a...fascinating...phone call.
DELAHEY: That it has. (laughs) Alright, have a good New Years, alright? I'll talk to you again soon.
EAMES: Alright, I'll talk to you later. Have a good evening, dear. Don't let the Newsweek excite you too much!
DELAHEY: I'll really try not to. They do have an article about The MySpace Guys that I'm just dying to read. But I will try to hold off. (laughs) Have a good evening, Mr. Eames.
(END TRANSCRIPT)
---
DATE: December 31st, 2005 - January 1st, 2006
TRANSCRIPT FROM ARTHUR'S VOICEMAIL INBOX
(GMT)
DECEMBER 31, 2005
(11:34pm)
(17 sec.) H-e-e-e-y, I'm sorry, I forgot what time it is over there b-u-u-u-t I really wanted to call so I could be the first to wish you a HAPPY NEW YE-A-AR and I hope you have an excellent 2006, mate!
- - -
JANUARY 1, 2006
(12:53am)
(42 seconds) OH GOD DID I CALL YOU I can't remember if I called so so I'M GOING TO CALL YOU and tell you HAPPY NEW YEAR. Right now! Right now I'm going to call you and...oh...is, is it New Year in New York OH GOD THAT IS SO FUNNY! New Year, New York, wow...wow...that's brilliant, that's - that - well, ah (inaudible) ok so I'mma do a shot for you, since you're not HERE and you're missing a GREAT PARTY. (suddenly yelling for no apparent reason) GOD. WHY DO YOU MISS ALL THE GREAT PARTIES I BET YOU'RE NOT EVEN AWAKE I BET - I - I - BET YOU WENT TO SLEEP AT NINE BECAUSE YOU DON'T (inaudible garbling for sixteen seconds). I love you b-y-e-e-e-e-!
- - -
JANUARY 1, 2006
(2:47am)
(23 seconds) Ookaaay, so...so...um...(silence for ten seconds) SO! I called you because...cuz...so...I have this THING this thing I need to...and I don't know where I am? Where am I?
- - -
Arthur Delahey (Mobile) - 10:01 p.m. EST
Happy New Year, Eddie! I hope you made it to wherever you were going safely. Have a good one!
Eddie Eames (Mobile):
3:10 a.m. GMT: O god wsts inthsi drinkv
3:25 a.m. GMT: Tisgrild says shesaclean do i trusd herv
3:33 a.m. GMT: I dontwant eherpes.
DELAHEY (Mobile): 10:40 p.m. EST:
Who? What? God - how much have you had to drink?
JANUARY 1, 2006 - 2:22 a.m. EST
(7:22am)
(63 seconds) (incoherent garbling for the duration of the phone call - phone is assumed to be held upside down)
DELAHEY (Mobile): 2:25 a.m. EST:
Could have sworn you had passed out by now. Doing all right?
---
EAMES (Mobile): 8:45 am (GMT)
Hi, I'm assuming you're a friend of Eddie's. Eddie's in the hospital and won't be available for awhile. He'll be okay so don't worry - his sister
DELAHEY (Mobile): 4:00 a.m. EST
What. What happened?? Um - I'm glad he's okay though. Thank you for telling me.
EAMES (Mobile): 9:05 am (GMT)
Well, what happened is he succumbed to alcohol poisoning and needs his stomach pumped. But he'll be okay. When he comes to I'll tell him you send your regards. Will that be okay? - Sis
DELAHEY (Mobile): 4:07 am EST
That fucking idiot. Yes, that would be fine. Thank you.
EAMES (Mobile): 9:09 am (GMT)
He certainly is. - Sis
DELAHEY (Mobile): 4:11 am EST
Glad to see someone agree. Thanks again.
The Jeremy Job (2006): 1/? >>