[Oneshot] Me & Myself
Title: Me & Myself
Rating: PG || Genre: Romance || Status: Completed ||
Pairing(s): JaeMin ; Changmin!centric
Warnings: Depressed!Min
Basic Synopsis: Changmin has no self-esteem, no social life and his classmates ignore and avoid him whenever they can. He has only one true friend, with whom he happens to be in love with: Jaejoong.
Changmin looked at his watch for the tenth time since he arrived. His friend was late as usual.
Of course that he was patient, but after waiting for more than two hours, he was starting to get anxious. Another twenty minutes went by and Changmin decided that it would be a good idea to sit down on the stone bench behind him but as soon as he did it, his cellphone started vibrating.
Getting it out, in a somehow quick movement, he looked at the screen and realised that a new message had arrived.
From: Yunho
16:31 pm
“I’m sorry Changmin, something came up suddenly and I won’t be able to meet you today. Sorry about this being so last minute. We’ll hang out tomorrow, okay?”
Changmin sighed and eventually smiled while reading the text. That had happen countless times and Changmin wouldn’t even bother about it just because he didin’t even care anymore.
The boy closed his cellphone then and put it back inside his pocket again, deciding then that the best thing to do was to go home.
On the next morning, Yunho was with him. Smiling and cheerful as always, he told him how he had finally found the music store that he was looking for weeks ago and how it had exactly what he wanted: a pair of sticks and an amplifier for the new drums that his parents had given him on his birthday.
“Hey Changmin, didn’t you want to buy something at the music store also?”
“No, hyung. I said that I was going to the mall’s music store to buy a cd but that was last week” I said
“Oh, so it was that.”
Of course that Yunho didn’t remember because that was one of the many times when Changmin waited for him and at the last minute he decided that something more important had come up. Changmin ended up wandering around the shopping mall alone, bought what he wanted to and went home afterwards.
Yunho and Changmin had been classmates for two years now. Classmates, not friends or at least that was what Changmin felt like. When you are friends with someone, you are because you share something in common, the same interests, the same ways of thinking.
Changmin included Jaejoong on that category. They knew each other for years and had always get along incredibly well. They found points of interest and situations so strange such as the fact that both their mothers used the same brand of diepers for them. Strange and bizarre because after all Changmin could have lived his life without imagining Jaejoong wearing diepers. It didn’t fit his cool self.
The truth is that if his complicity with Jaejoong was so great and if both were practicaly inseparable, then why put Yunho in the middle?
Well, Jaejoong was older than Changmin and a college student so as all college students, he was busy going to parties, having fun until dawn and sleep during the day afterwards.
As a matter of fact, Jaeoong had never ask Changmin to go to one of those parties with him and the younger was kinda relieved about that even because he didn’t know how to behave in one. He was never fond of drinking alcohol and everytime he would attend a party with some of his classmates, he never knew what to order. In the end he would ask for the same as one of his classmates drank and regretted about it later on when the taste didn’t please him.
He didn’t know how to behave around people of his age. Everyone looked so tasteless, so focused on things that he never paid any attention (nor ever would), so far from his way of being that sometimes he’d feel so left out that he ended up making up a couple of similar tastes and interests so that he could actually have something to talk about.
His smile and inteligence always helped him in not looking more of an idiot and anti-social that he actually was, but there was something that would never change: as good actor as he was (or tried to be), he would always end up being ignored at the end.
Continuing a conversation that others had already finished, making questions that would never be answered, being left talking alone while others had a conversation in which he wished to be a part of.
Seeing how someone that came after him would get along with his classmates better than he ever got. Seeing how those who would wait before, were now always in such a rush, eventhough they knew they would walk on the same direction. Seing how he is no longer an option when it comes to run to the cafeteria at lunch time to grab the last piece of cake and after that, talk about how the stupid little kid that came before they did, tripped over his own feet and fell with his face on the delicious relic made out of flower, eggs and butter.
Seing a rainbow and having no one to show it to.
Snap!
“What are you doing? Are you listening to me, Changmin?” Yunho inquired
“Of course I am.”
“Isn’t a bit rude of you to be doing God-knows-what with your cellophone while I say something imortant? What are you doing exactly?”
“It’s not important. What time did you say your friend would arrive?”
“Ah, he’s there” Yunho said, waving towards the entry of the shop.
Changmin looked back and saw someone getting in . A guy with black, short hair, shorter than him and Yunho. The guy approached their table, holding a cup of coffee on his left hand.
“You know Yochun, this is a coffee shop so you didn’t have to bring coffee from outside. Besides, it’s so not ethic to do that.” Yunho said, looking at his hand.
“This is not coffee, Yunho. It’s Starbucks!”
Changmin didn’t get the difference. It was obviously coffee and he could smell it coming from the cup that Yoochun was holding but according to Yoochun’s words, Starbucks were everything for him.
Twenty minutes lates, Changmin was sitting on a chair, on the reserved area of the music store.
“Are you going to stay there?” Yunho asked him.
“Yeah, I’ll wait for you guys here.”
Yunho didn’t mention anything else and it was not like Changmin was expecting him to do it either.
Both him and Yoochun took hours and possibly tried every single instrument on that store, before even thinking about what they were going to buy. A mutual interest in music... that was exactly what Changmin needed at the time.
The younder was still dying of boredom, when his phone vibrated and revealed a new text message.
From: JaeJae
15:45pm
“Hey there! What are you doing?”
Changmin smiled and pressed the button in order to write a new message.
“I’m dying of boredom. Save me please?”
A few seconds later, Jaejoong replied.
From JaeJae
15:48pm
“Why are you bored? I’d gladly save you but can’t. Babysitting time >:( ”
Changmin replied quickly
“Taking care of your nephews? What a kind-hearted uncle ^_^
Oh, nothing special. Yunho and his friend are shopping together.”
From: JaeJae
15:51pm
Yeah… besides my sister told me she’d lend me her car tonight if I took care of the little brats : ) Why did they left you out?”
Changmin didn’t take long to reply to his friend.
“Where are you going tonight? Another party?
That’s a stupid question, hyung. Of course they left me out. Do you think anyone would like to have another shadow behind them? ”
Jaejoong’s answer took a bit more than Changmin expected and for a second he thought his friend had forgotten to reply.
From: JaeJae
16:00pm
“Mianhee. Min Ji was trying to put the cat inside the soup pot... *dead*
Hum... tonight? I’m going to meet you, how’s that? On a side note: why do you get along with those jerks?”
Changmin was surprised with that answer.
“I’m happy that the poor animal survived the soup pot. Why are you meeting me? Did we arrange something that I don’t remember?
They are not bad people, it’s just that I don’t fit in there.”
From JaeJae
16:04
“The cat worships me now ^__________^
We are setting this now. We haven’t seen each other for a long time and I feel like seeing you. Do you have other plans?”
Changmin felt like smacking himself for letting Yunho convince him into to a friend’s party with him and Yoochun later on. And when he said ‘friend’, he was obviously talking about Yunho and Yoochun’s friend.
Since when Yunho and Yoochun had friends in common, he didn’t know.
“I have something settled already. Mianhee... (m)>__<(m)”)
From: JaeJae
16:07
“It’s okay, we can see each other another day. I have to go now, I think these terrorists are preparing something. The house is too quiet. ‘‘-__- ”
Changmin put away his cellphone and was still cursing his lack of luck when Yunho brought him back to reality.
“We are ready. Let’s go”
“Already? I was thinking about going t -”
“Hey Yunho, let’s go and put these inside the car. The weight is killing my arms.” Yoochun said
“Man, I love you even more for bringing your car! Hey Changmin, can you carry this, please? C’mon, let’s go.”
Changmin followed them, having his hands completely full with Yunho’s bags.
After putting everything on the trunk of the car, the three of them got into the vehicle and Yoochun started the engine.
As Changmin wasn’t the least happy at the time, he just put his seatbelt on and stared blankly at the window.
“Hey Yunho, is he coming with us tonight?” Yoochun asked while looking at Changmin through the rear mirror
“Yeah. You said I could bring other people.”
Changmin heard Yoochun making a small noise with his throat and understood the message but kept looking out of the window.
About seven hours later, Yunho was at Changmin’s entrance door, hands on his hips and looking at the younger.
“Why aren’t you ready?”
“What are you talking about? I’m ready” Motioned Changmin, making Yunho direct his eyes to the boy’s clothes.
“You’re going like that?”
Changmin looked at himself and then at Yunho “Why? Is there something wrong with my clothes?”
Yunho looked at the boy from top to bottom and showed him a reproving look after examining his baby blue shirt, jeans and the tennis shoes that Changmin usually wore. At the same time, the younger looked at himself, pretending not to understand what was wrong with his dressing code.
“You look like you’re going to school. Those are too simple for someone who is going to a nightclub.”
“Oh...well, I don’t have anything better than this inside my closet. My clothes are all very...simple.”
“Do you want to come to my house? I can see if I have something that’ll fit you. I think that at least the shir-”
“No, it’s okay. It’s better that I don’t go.” Changmin said at last.
“C’mon Changmin, we had everything settled.”
“No, really. You go.”
“If you insist... I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”
Yunho left and Changmin though that he didn’t insist all that much, but it was obvious that if he showed up dressed like that at the club and more over, right along Yunho who was dressed properly, he’d be teased by all.
Changmin decided to go into his room and change clothes. Throwing the clothes to the farthest corner of the room, he changed into his pajamas and laid down on his bed grabbing his cellphone.
Looking into his image gallery, he found the picture he had taken previously when he was still waiting for Yunho’s friend: a rainbow that had appeared right after the rain stopped and the sun popped out.
Changmin liked rainbows. He liked to see how something so pretty could appear after something as depressing as rain. A little like his life: depressing for the most part of the time, but still with some good things along the way.
He decided to share that image with someone who might care about the hidden meaning of it; with the only good thing in his life and it didn’t take long for the answer to appear.
From: JaeJae
23:44pm
“What is wrong?”
Changmin smiled while reading the text and replied immediately
“Nothing. I just wanted to share it with you.”
A few seconds later, the elder’s reply came
From: JaeJae
23:46
“You’re home, right? Wanna meet up?”
“Are you in a crowded place where one has to be dressed in a different way? But no, thanks, I’ll stay here.” Changmin wrote
From: JaeJae
23:50
“I’m getting on the car right now and heading to your house”
Changmin rolled on his bed, panicking. Why did Jaejoong have to be so impulsive? Why was it that he was so good at guessing when he was depressed?
Of course that Changmin was also secretly happy for the concern, but he hated that Jaejoong saw him depressed. It was enough for him to be an idiot on a daily basis, but showing his most vulnerable side to someone such as Jaejoong... to someone whom he loved do much...
It was almost unbearable.
Jaejoong arrived sooner than he thought but still, Changmin put on his best smile to receive his crush friend.
“Jae!” He greeted, smiling.
“You have a lot of explaining to do” He said, arms crossed and questioning look in his eyes.
Changmin sighed “Get in”.
Jaejoong followed him into the living room and got himself a seat on Changmin’s couch. “So?” He asked.
“Do you want to have something to drink?” The elder threw him a deadly look “I guess not.”
“Are you going to tell me what is going on or do I have to find it on my own?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” He said
“Why?” Jaejoong insisted “I thought you said you were able to tell me everything.”
“No, I can’t. I don’t want to talk about it with you or anyone”
Jaejoong kept looking at his friend, now with a softer look “Is it Yunho? Is he giving you troubles?”
“No one is giving me troubles, hyung. I AM the problem.”
Jaejoong quirked his eyebrow while looking at the younger. “First of all: don’t call me hyung. Second: don’t ever say such nonsense in front of me again. What did those idiots tell you?”
“Nothing. I know.”
Jaejoong inhaled slowly before speaking again “So, didn’t you say that you have some appointment today? Or did you say that because you didn’t feel like going out with me?”
“No, of course not” Changmin said, gesturing with his hands in front of the elder. “I was going somewhere but ended up not going in the end. It was a party at a club and I don’t know what to wear to go out at night and even if I did, I have nothing to wear.”
“You have nothing to wear? Why? Did your closet burned down with all your clohes inside it?”
Changmin smiled “Of course not, but I only have simple and casual clothing. Yunho said they were not appropriate.”
“I knew it had to be that idiot. Listen Changmin, you don’t need to dress up like a movie star to go out with your friends, but maybe the friends with whom you go out with don’t know that.”
“I’d embarrass them...”
Jaejoong sighed again “Go get dressed.”
“Why?”
“What do you think? We’re going out.”
Changmin shaked his head “I don’t feel like it.”
“Don’t you get all anti-social with me. I asked you out today and you preferred to go out with a guy that doen’t give a shit to about you and get you all depressed just because you are classmates instead of going with me, your friend, that knows you for years and that didn’t see you in ages, so I think you owe me one.
Now move that ass and get dressed!” Jaejoong said, hitting Changmin’s butt and surprising the younger.
“I really don’t feel like it” He whined
Jaejoong was getting desperate. “Why are you like that? I’m trying to cheer you up, trying to make you leave the house and you are not letting me. Why is that?”
“No one wants to know about me, no one cares about me, so why do you?”
Jaejoong ended up losing his temper after listening to Changmin’s words and slapped him across the face, making him lose his balance a bit.
“You’re getting on my nerves!”
The taller hung his head down, trying to stop his tears from falling.
“I tend to have that effect on people after some time. I think it’s okay as long as you don’t hate me or ignore me like others do.” Changmin said, voice low.
“Why do you agree on having so little when you can have all you want? I don’t care if you are depressed, if you have no self-esteem or if everyone ignores you. Why would I hate someone I love so much? You are the one who makes everything so difficult.”
“D-Do you love me?” Changmin stuttered.
“Yes and it’s frustrating trying to make you realize that for months! Geez... you only pay attention to Yunho and his idiot friends and when I try to cheer you up, you won’t leave the house. Now I am the one who is depressed. I’m going home!”
Jaejoong turned his back on Changmin and reached approached the living room’s door when suddenly felt a pair of arms enveloping his waist and a big weight falling on him. When he looked over his shoulder, he had Changmin completely on his back, squishing him.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I love you too, I’m sorry!”
Jaejoong smiled at Changmin’s speed while talking and at the same time, he tried to remove the boy from the top of his back.
“Now can you explain to me why did you appologized four times, but only said you loved me once?” Asked Jaejoong while still smilling
“Because ‘sorry’ is easier to say...” Changmin blushed then.
“You do realize that this means you will be dating one of the most sociable man in town, don’t you?
“How did that happen, huh? Maybe I’ll make you an anti-social too...”
The elder showed him a grin “I am just waiting for that to happen actually. At least like that we are going to have a LOOOOOOT of free time.”
“But I don’t -”
Jaejoong’s fingers touched Changmin’s lips “Shhh... you tak too much. Let me just teach you how to make a better use of your time” he said, as he proceeded into kissing his boyfriend, passionately.
Changmin never thought good things could happen to him but for once he was glad to be wrong.
A/N: So I decided to post something while you all wait for the final chapter of "Unreachable". My muse was depressed, so this came up ^_^
As always, tell me what you think, guys ~ *comments are loved*