Supernatural fic: Grace Under Fire 5/10 (Dean/Cas PG-13 AU)

[the_diggler]

Title: Grace Under Fire [chapter 5/10]
Rating: PG-13 this part. NC-17 all up.
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Genre: AU, romance
Spoilers/Warnings: AU references to season 6
Word Count: 2,120 this part (10,280 so far)
Summary: Harsh light of day. Awkward morning after. The one in which Dean and Castiel both want the same things but their signals get a little crossed.
A/N: Also the one in which I decided to make this fic my official attempt at breaking the 20k word barrier for the first time. There's enough places I want to go with this, now I just have to find the words :S
Disclaimer: Supernatural ain't mine. Otherwise it'd end up on daytime.



[ Chapter 1] [ Chapter 2] [ Chapter 3] [ Chapter 4]

~

Castiel almost didn’t want to wake up the next morning, comfortable as he was, half-draped over a warm body underneath him and pleasantly sore all over. But his mind stubbornly grew more and more conscious, reminding him what had happened the night before, and with a jolt of shock his eyes flew open. Very carefully he raised his arm from where it lay across Dean’s back, and rolled away from Dean’s body.

Dean didn’t wake up, but he frowned a little into the pillow at the loss of contact, curling his fingers tighter around the material and burying his face deeper, mumbling something that sounded a lot like Castiel’s name.

Castiel’s heart stopped a beat. He was torn between the urge to plant kisses all over Dean’s sunlit freckles and the need to have a nervous breakdown. He opted for something in between, lifting the sheets up around Dean as he carefully slid out of bed. Dean curled around himself again, but otherwise kept sleeping soundly, so Castiel threw on some clothes, and headed to the kitchen to freakout quietly over some coffee.

It had all felt so right last night… The way he had let his guard down under Dean’s gaze and opened up, the way he had forgotten to be cautious and gone straight for what he wanted when Dean made a move to kiss him, the way they had made out like teenagers against Dean’s car right outside the bar, and the way they couldn’t even wait to get into his bed before they’d gone for it right on his bedroom floor

But now, in the harsh light of day, Castiel was a little silly. More than a little silly. Like maybe he hadn’t been in his right mind last night at all. Like he’d been replaced by this creature with hands and lips that had minds of their own, spilling out traitorous words like, “Take me home, Dean.”

God.

He must’ve made a horrible impression. Dean must’ve thought he was some terrible floozy that took men home all the time to have wild sex all over his apartment. And that’s so not who he was. More importantly, he didn’t want Dean to think that was all he wanted either. If anything, his behavior was a sign of how much more he wanted from Dean. That the chemistry between them was so powerful that he’d been so drawn in, so easily. So ready to throw his inhibitions away, so quickly.

And oh god, it had been amazing. No one had ever looked at him like Dean had last night, had ever touched him that way, with such awe, and fear, and need. And the way it had made him feel, so free, almost powerful, like he could do anything - fly even - and yet at the same time he’d never felt more comfortable in his skin his whole life.

He really hoped this thing with Dean was just beginning.

~

For the first time in a long time, Dean slept so hard he didn’t wake up once during the night. And when he finally started to, it didn’t feel forced or hard. It felt natural, like he’d actually gotten enough proper rest for once. It felt so good, and so foreign, that it took him more than a little while to work out where he was, and why the sheets he’d buried his nose in smelled so damn awesome.

Castiel. He’d slept in Castiel’s bed. After sleeping with Castiel. And hot damn, had it been amazing. Last night had to be, hands down, some of the best sex of his life. And he really did not expect that from what he’d thought to be a shy, reserved History teacher.

Unless Castiel did this kind of thing all the time.

The guy was friends with Balthazar, after all. Maybe Castiel wasn’t like what he thought he was. And maybe last night wasn’t what he thought it was.

Dean reluctantly let go of the sheets, sitting up and frowning in doubt. As the sheets fell away to pool at his waist, they took Castiel’s scent with them, and he finally registered the smell of coffee wafting through the air. Dean sighed, his eyes sweeping over the empty bed one last time. He supposed it was time to face the music.

He took his time getting dressed, taking the chance to look around Castiel’s apartment now that he could see it. Sam once told him that you could tell a lot about a person from the way they set up a place, from the furniture they owned and the way they decorated. Castiel’s furniture was all very sturdy, solid, dark and wood-based. Everything was obviously functional, but also looked… kinda classy. And that was exactly what he would’ve expected from Castiel. There weren’t a lot of photographs around, which made sense from what Castiel had told him about his life, but there were a few pieces of art here and there, well-placed and well-chosen. A Chinese scroll. A mounted blade. The bookshelves were stacked full and the desk wasn’t just a computer desk, but a full-on writing desk. And yet, while everything in the apartment was dark and heavy, it didn’t seem that way at all. There was just the right amount of light coming in through the windows, just the right amount of organized clutter to make the place seem warm, and comfortable. Homey. And again, it was all just what he thought Castiel would be.

So what was last night? There was nothing here that indicated Castiel was some kind of player. And Dean had been to enough places like that to know. Hell, his own place looked like that before Lisa. Which was why he always went to her place instead.

Maybe that’s what was going on here. Maybe Castiel wasn’t the type that usually took people home, but went to other people’s places, so he could leave whenever he wanted. The kind of person who just scratched the itch when he needed and then went back to his completely separate life.

Dean scrubbed a hand over his face, nervousness and dread pooling in his gut with each step closer to the kitchen, uncertain thoughts spinning over and over in his head. Then finally he rounded the corner, and there stood Castiel - bathed in morning light, wearing an old t-shirt and track pants, leaning over the counter and reading with a small frown on his face - looking so goddamn gorgeous it took Dean’s breath away.

He didn’t know how long he stood there in the doorway, admiring the view, but the longer he stood there, the more he began to think he wouldn’t mind waking up every morning to a view like this.

That is, if Castiel didn’t mind him lurking in the shadows and watching him like some kind of creeper.

Fuck.

Dean finally cleared his throat, letting the other man know he was there.

He really hoped this thing with Castiel wasn’t over yet.

~

Castiel didn’t know how long Dean had been standing there, but it could’ve been ages considering how lost in thought he had been.

He’d been looking through the information book his old cadet Major from military school had sent him about the private school he was now running. Apparently their History teacher was considering moving on and Raphael had sent him the book to look over, in case he might be interested in taking the position. Castiel was quite happy where he was, but he had to admit it was a good opportunity. It was more pay for one thing. But with the kind of program they ran at St. Michael's, Castiel would be able to expand his course material to include Ancient Greek History, European History, a few Eastern Histories... much more on top of the usual focus on recent American history.

The only problem was that the school was in a different State.

Well, no, that wasn’t the problem. Not until last night anyway.

The problem was, that until last night, he had seriously been considering taking the job. And now, in the span of one night, he was having doubts.

And how absurd was that? That he was already willing to arrange his entire life around Dean, after just one night? For all he knew Dean wasn’t even interested in seeing him again.

But if Dean was, would it be worth passing up this opportunity to be with him?

He almost jumped out of his skin when Dean cleared his throat in the silence of the room, but when he looked up and saw Dean there, hovering in the doorway, uncertain and beautiful, every fiber of his being answered ‘Yes’.

~

“Good morning,” Dean murmured, smirking at the adorable little jump of surprise Castiel had made when he’d realised Dean was there.

Castiel blinked at him owlishly for a few seconds before he cleared his throat and replied.

“Good morning.”

“Interesting reading?” Dean inquired, tilting his head at the book on the counter as he stepped into the room.

“No,” Castiel replied, quickly flipping the book closed and sliding it away.

“Okay,” Dean slowed his steps to a stop, frowning a little at Castiel’s reaction. The man had been pretty engrossed in thought before, but if he didn’t want to share, it was none of Dean’s business.

But unfortunately, that brief, awkward interchange pretty much brought conversation to a standstill. It had taken a while for them to get comfortable last night, but once they had, things had gone pretty smoothly. And now it was like they were back at ground zero. Like somehow when the night reset to morning, they had reset to where they’d started as well.

Dean chewed on his lip, that feeling of dread returning as the silence thickened between them. Castiel kept staring him, with that stare like he was looking right into Dean’s soul, and Dean began to squirm, feeling like he was being assessed somehow, and starting to sense he was coming up short.

“I’m sorry,” Castiel blurted suddenly, “This is--uh…” he stammered, flustered, “I don’t usually do this,” he finished in a rush.

And there it was.

It stung a little. No, hell, it stung a lot. But he already had a feeling this was the way it was gonna go. It’d been an amazing night, but that’s all it was. He should’ve considered himself lucky enough to be invited to stay the whole night through, but clearly it was time to go now.

“Okay sure, I get it,” Dean mustered a small smile. “I’ll just get out of your hair then,” he said, turning to leave.

Castiel was too good for him anyway.

~

Dean was leaving.

Dean was leaving.

And Castiel’s heart sank with every step Dean took towards the door.

As good as it had been, it was just a one time thing for Dean.

For all he knew, Dean had amazing nights like that all the time.

But, dammit, Castiel didn’t. So if this was going to be the last time he saw Dean anyway, what did he have to lose?

And then suddenly Castiel was hearing Balthazar’s voice in his head, yelling, “Go after him you bloody idiot!”

So he did.

“Dean, wait!” Castiel called out, rushing after him. Dean stopped, just as he opened the door, and Castiel slammed into it, shutting it behind his back. When he looked up into Dean eyes he was surprised to see a glimmer of hurt in them, a flash of disappointment there before it was quickly pushed down, and suddenly their exchange in the kitchen replayed in his mind under a totally different light.

“I’m sorry, Dean. When I said I don’t usually do this, I meant I don’t usually bring people home on a first date. I didn’t mean for you to leave,” Castiel explained, feeling like a total idiot.

Dean just blinked at him, silent for a long moment, before the corner of his mouth twitched up into the beginnings of a smile. “First date?” Dean repeated, a hint of hope in his voice at the unspoken implication. Castiel grinned, cupping Dean’s face in his hands and leaning up to kiss him, slow and soft.

“Stay,” he murmured when they pulled apart, punctuating the request with another soft kiss. “Stay as long as you like,” he grinned, kissing Dean again. “I’ll make pancakes.”

“Pancakes,” Dean echoed, a look of utter disbelief on his face. “How are you even real?” Dean breathed, before pushing him against the door, kissing him long and deep until he was breathless and hard, and pancakes were the last thing on either of their minds.

Maybe after.

~ tbc

...So I might take some time off this to write some bdsm. I'm having a super-shitty month and I think I need to unleash the darkside for a bit after all this fluffiness anyway ;p Just giving fair warning!