Title: Sex Train
Rating: R
Word Count: 630
Summary: Teddy and Vision talk about how seemingly simple sounding tasks can go horribly, horribly wrong.
Credit to Meann (
kitsune_jade) for beta reading my fic, and to whoever originally came up with the Majesdanian Virus.
The heavily armored SHIELD train chugged along the Rocky Mountains, its smooth, swift journey a distinct contrast to the chaos within.
“Stupid eldritch storm disrupting all air travel and teleportation across America,” muttered Theodore Altman, better known as the Young Avenger Hulkling. He was currently doing his darndest to blend in with the mahogany paneling of the VIP car of the surprisingly comfortable SHIELD train. He’s never had to use his hereditary Skrull shapeshifting abilities in this chameleon-like manner, but necessity is the mother of invention.
[Congratulations. Not only have you managed to get the wood coloring, but if you’ll notice your feet now match the carpet’s color as well.] said Vision as he flew in through the wall beside Teddy.
“Ack! Vision! You scared me! Didn’t we agree to not use sudden movements when contacting one another? I’m still slightly traumatized by what Billy tried to do to me…” sputtered Teddy at his half-materialized companion. “Speaking of which, how are things in the other room?”
[I’ve notified the SHIELD personnel already, and they’ve all evacuated this car. The only ones left here are, um, our teammates.]
“You’re sure that the virus has been quarantined, and the team is secured in their rooms?”
[Yes, I’ve coordinated with SHIELD regarding the environmental controls already. It won’t spread past our cab.]
“Oh crap, Captain America and Nick Fury’s gonna be so pissed with us when they find out we turned the SHIELD secure transporter into a sex train! Our first mission since the war ended, and we mess it up horribly on something we’re supposed to be experts at dealing with already… Wait, you didn’t answer my second question.”
[Um, they are sort-of-secured.]
“Vision, what do you mean by ‘sort-of-secured’?”
[Uh, Kate, Eli, and Tommy cooperated with me when I herded them towards a room and even locked the door from their side, which made my sealing it on the outside redundant. However, Billy has been more problematic, but you should be safe from his scrying spells due to this storm… and I can’t seem to find Cassie anyWAAAAH!] suddenly shouted Vision as his lower half, which was in the adjoining room, started being tugged violently.
“Oh shit! Vision! What’s wrong with you!” Shouted Teddy as he grabbed his teammate’s flailing arms to prevent him from being pulled through the wall.
[Ack! Cassie’s on the other side! She’s trying to drag me over to her side!] said a panicking Vision, who was beginning to feel the strain that someone being pulled by a super-strong teenaged alien on one end and a 20 foot sex crazed teenaged girl on the other would feel.
“Oh Teddy, I know you’re lonely, but Vision is my toy. Don’t worry, Billy’s heading over here too, and he’s got one of those SHIELD wall-pulverizing thingies with him.” complained Cassie from the other side.
“Eep! Vision! Start dematerializing, now!” barked Teddy, as the fear began to build up inside him.
[Uh… I can’t.]
Teddy was dumbstruck, and let go of Vision. “Why can’t you?”
[Er… Cassie’s not pulling my legs anymore…] said Vision in a rather embarrassed manner, before finally slipping through to the other room.
Teddy was just beginning to process what Vision just said, as well as the fact that he had just witnessed firsthand proof that a robot CAN blush, when he was startled by a shout on the other side.
“Teddy dear! Time to go to bed!” shouted Billy as he started to operate a painful-sounding device on the wall.
“That’s it, no more Majesdanian Flu vaccine research missions for me.” declared Teddy as he tried to find a suitable hiding place from his boyfriend.
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