I am intensely grateful to those that have gone before me to allow me to transition like this. And maybe I can use some of the energy I'm not wasting on fighting for my transition working to help others in the future have a similarly easy time of it.
It's a good thing how you're being treated. A very good thing.
It's going to take ages for me to get hormones. I have no idea how long it'll even take to get a referal to a gender clinic (considering that our government is trying to cut how much money my country owes and all in a few years, and the clinic nearest me is currently moving).
Because you have the presciption doesn't mean that you have to start straight away.
No, that's true. mfrazercani and I are negotiating right now - it's not easy on him and he's feeling like he's being forced into things too fast, but he's not sure what he actually wants to happen, either. I'm really hoping we can find an answer that we're both okay with about when I'll actually start transition and how fast it'll happen. Unfortunately the speed of it is largely determined by biology, not choice.
I'm sorry it's going to take you longer to start T. Maybe it's what you need, the time to adjust, but it should be because you choose that rather than because the gatekeepers or bookkeepers don't think your treatment is a priority. I've still got my fingers crossed for you and, if virtual hugs from across the pond help at all, they're here for you in abundance.
Sadly, the way of things when it comes to the government or the NHS is that there's many hoops to jump through. They like to be sure that their money is well spent. And as a tax payer I'm okay with that. Ask me that in another couple of years though . . .
I understand the guilt, because I had as smooth a transition as anyone could have the right to expect. I didn't lose my job. Only a few coworkers had anything negative to say, and the ones who stuck behind me told them to shut the hell up, so I didn't have to deal with that negativity at all. My parents, though unhappy, didn't disown me and then came around quickly. My friends didn't desert me - I didn't lose a single one. The biggest fear I had was that my wife would leave me. We put in an uncomfortable couple of years, but she stayed with me, and so did her family
( ... )
Yeah, I kind of feel like I can use all the energy I'm not wasting on fighting for my own transition on working to make others' transitions just as easy. Well, that and fighting for my marriage. I hope my husband and I can find a way through like you and your wife did. Thank you.
And it's nice to find out that I'm not the only person who didn't figure this out at 20 - sometimes I've felt like there's something wrong or not "trans enough" about me for not getting a clue sooner. Mostly I just wanted confirmation that I wasn't getting my hopes up unreasonably high to expect something generally in line with everything else I've seen, changes-wise. If I have specific questions, I'll happily send them your way. :) Thank you again!
I'm really glad this was all good news, because I was steeling myself from the minute I read the entry title!
As time passes, those of us whose needs/lives/choices fall outside what is currently considered the 'social norm' are having an easier time of it. Your situation seems to be going exceptionally well, for sure. I think though, that the people who struggle and fight do/did so so that others don't have to. So that someday, someone's path could be as easy as it can be. Instead of feeling guilty, consider that you might be living what some of those men and women fought for, and doing a damn fine job!
Congrats on all of it, Tad. I'm really happy for you.
I hadn't thought of it that way, and I really like that idea. Thank you! :) I do have a lot of hope for the future - everyone I've told that's under 25 has basically been, "Okay, whatever. That's cool. *shrug*" I hope that means that in 10 or 15 years it really will be this easy for everyone. Hugs to you and crslmt, and thanks again!
First off, congratulations! I won't ask here about dosage, but remember that you can ask for a slow ramp-up, and even then, things could move very fast physically
( ... )
Thank you! Yeah, mfrazercani and I are talking about options we can both be comfortable with right now, but the fact that nature, not choice, will be the final arbiter of how fast things happen makes it a bit more difficult.
I think you're right - the guilt isn't that I'm getting the treatment I need and deserve, it's that not everyone else does. And I think it is my way of processing it so that I can figure out how to help others.
It does take all of our lives, yes. And when I mentioned this guilt to a RL friend yesterday she basically said that the medical part may be easy, but I've had over a decade of suffering and being miserable because of this issue, so maybe the smoothness of this part of the road is just karmic payback for that. I'm absolutely certain that if I'd started trying to transition 14 years ago it would have been a completely different experience.
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I am intensely grateful to those that have gone before me to allow me to transition like this. And maybe I can use some of the energy I'm not wasting on fighting for my transition working to help others in the future have a similarly easy time of it.
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It's a good thing how you're being treated. A very good thing.
It's going to take ages for me to get hormones. I have no idea how long it'll even take to get a referal to a gender clinic (considering that our government is trying to cut how much money my country owes and all in a few years, and the clinic nearest me is currently moving).
Because you have the presciption doesn't mean that you have to start straight away.
Reply
I'm sorry it's going to take you longer to start T. Maybe it's what you need, the time to adjust, but it should be because you choose that rather than because the gatekeepers or bookkeepers don't think your treatment is a priority. I've still got my fingers crossed for you and, if virtual hugs from across the pond help at all, they're here for you in abundance.
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;)
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And it's nice to find out that I'm not the only person who didn't figure this out at 20 - sometimes I've felt like there's something wrong or not "trans enough" about me for not getting a clue sooner. Mostly I just wanted confirmation that I wasn't getting my hopes up unreasonably high to expect something generally in line with everything else I've seen, changes-wise. If I have specific questions, I'll happily send them your way. :) Thank you again!
Reply
As time passes, those of us whose needs/lives/choices fall outside what is currently considered the 'social norm' are having an easier time of it. Your situation seems to be going exceptionally well, for sure. I think though, that the people who struggle and fight do/did so so that others don't have to. So that someday, someone's path could be as easy as it can be. Instead of feeling guilty, consider that you might be living what some of those men and women fought for, and doing a damn fine job!
Congrats on all of it, Tad. I'm really happy for you.
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I think you're right - the guilt isn't that I'm getting the treatment I need and deserve, it's that not everyone else does. And I think it is my way of processing it so that I can figure out how to help others.
It does take all of our lives, yes. And when I mentioned this guilt to a RL friend yesterday she basically said that the medical part may be easy, but I've had over a decade of suffering and being miserable because of this issue, so maybe the smoothness of this part of the road is just karmic payback for that. I'm absolutely certain that if I'd started trying to transition 14 years ago it would have been a completely different experience.
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