Reading Emily Dickinson in the Dark

[tesseract_5]

For wildestranger who understands these poets much better than I.
Partly inspired by the painting by celstialsoda (see icon).

This is what comes of having shelved philosophy books at work.

title: Reading Emily Dickinson in the Dark
rating: gen
length ~ 900 words
disclaimor: these characters belong completley to JKR, I make no profit, written purely for entertainment--

Comments

[tesseract_5]

yeah, this is just one possible interpretation, there's too many possibilities of what they said or where they were (harkening back to Jazzy's meta on this topic)

hmmm... probably not a "?" in the way I read it aloud, but I'm probably wrong. :)

[kayfin]

As usual, you leave me mentally breathless with the way you sculpt language into such an amazingly deep portrait of a scene.

[tesseract_5]

*abashed* thank you Kayfin for you kind comment :)
I love your own writing, and wish you'd post more or !! keep a travel diary on your upcoming trip eh eh?

[kayfin]

Travel diary is def. going to happen. I never travel without keeping a journal these days.

[tesseract_5]

excellent!

(I kept one when I was studying in Europe, and then lost it on a bus somewhere in western Ireland. However, as it was mostly grousing about ex-boyfriends, probably a good thing!)

[topaz_eyes]

Don't hate me but...that should be Emily Dickinson, not Dickens.

I really like Emily Dickinson--such power in her poems, yet such simplicity of words. To think she was a near-recluse while she wrote, yet her work speaks of a strong, wise spirit--this is a great poem you chose.

I liked the roles you define for the Marauders here--they fit their characters. I wonder if "rhetoric expert" also equals devil...? :-) You set the mood really really well--contemplative and sad, but not maudlin. You capture Sirius' impulsive yearning to be useful perfectly. And I'm glad you show that Remus still finds some pleasure in simple things like steady burning candles by which to read a well bound book--that has such a warm, glowing feel amidst the grief.

And the nitpicker in me just can't resist "it's carven holder"--should be "its". (Its = possessive; it's = it is. When in doubt re its vs it's, read the phrase aloud and replace it's with "it is"--if it sounds wrong, it should be its.) Don't worry--I still can't figure out "lie" vs "lay".

[tesseract_5]

thanks as always for the edits Topaz, I thought I read this one (aloud) for mistakes like that) oops! (I have a best friend with the last name Dickens, so I always mix it up in my head)

I had a chance to visit Emily Dickinson's house when I was in college. It was so amazing to see the 2nd story room where she lived and wrote and her view of the garden below.

[topaz_eyes]

Actually I thought you made an interesting premise: what would a writing cross between Emily Dickinson and Charles Dickens be like? They both wrote about the same time, they were both keen observers...but alas, a literary expert I'm not.

One of these years I'll visit her house, I hope...

[tesseract_5]

the whole small city it's in is an interesting area, so many old old colleges in Northampton, and very close to Boston, MA, so :)

Right, you're gonna hate me...

[jazzypom]

But at times I thought your language was clunky, and the way how you put some words together? They nearly collapsed under their own weight.

I thought the premise was a good one, and I guess the style was supposed to be the aloof and well... quilted and heavy style of the philosphers (with deductive and inductive reasonings and such), but the approach got away from you. I can't hate, still. It's a much better effort than I msyelf would have done, but in some areas, it really is rather... chunky.

I wish I could highlight, copy and paste certain phrases, but your format foils my ability to do so.

Curses.

of course I won't

[tesseract_5]

hate you for saying that Jazzy! It was mostly done that way on purpose, like a letter written to someone late at night, that you would be embarassed to read in the morning after a cup of coffee or tea.

I wish I had the time and patience to ask you or others to beta more, but I'd never get anything posted with the new work schedule and my followup slowness. Lazy of me, but yeah. I don't understand why you can't copy and paste! bizarre.

So really, any comments are much appreciated and applied to the next creative effort.

I understand!

[jazzypom]

I'm a lazy beggar when it comes to getting a beta for my (seldom!) writing efforts, so I feel you.

I must say though, your approach to your subjects is getting better. You seem to have a pacing with regards to your narrative, but I wish you'd be aware of the power of your words more.

thanks

[tesseract_5]

hmm... I'll need to ponder that advice some. I know this was full of self-important sounding words, though it seemed appropriate at the moment, when the idea came.

[wildestranger]

Ooh! For me? *forms into a puddle of joy*

This is lovely. And I like the way you use the poetry to make sense of them, and show how Remus uses it to makes sense of Sirius. Most delightful.

[tesseract_5]

thanks! Wilde, I wasn't sure if this poem made any sense when used in this context. It's mostly Remus trying to find comfort reading. :)

You put me in mind of Dickinson with using her "Wild Nights" poem in your recent story ;)