Why Am I Such An Atypical Woman?

[teendoc]

Why Am I Such a Weird Woman?

OK, I have a confession to make. I am not like most women. In fact, I’ve never gotten along with most women throughout my life. When I was about 12 or 13, I remember that the boys sat on one side of the room and the girls on the other. The girls were very interested in clothes, makeup and guys. The guys focused on doing

Comments

[amie_austin]

I suggest Pregnancy Week by Week. It has given me something to look forward to each week (I read the following week on Sunday nights). The weeks are pretty short and informative (and not scary.)

[teendoc]

Thanks for the suggestion!

[irishope]

Liana, why concentrate on all of this. Be the best mom you know how to be. I personally love being a mommy but I also played with dolls when I was a child!

[teendoc]

Honestly I think about all this because I've spent a lot of my life being told by others that I wasn't (fill in the blank) enough. I wasn't girly enough. I wasn't black enough. I wasn't white enough. There has been so much of people trying to pigeonhole me into what they think I should be. So I have grown to loathe being judged in such a manner.

Sure maybe now people aren't telling me how black I should be, but the Mommies still feel the need to dismiss my values and parenting plan because it goes against the mainstream pattern. So yeah, it sticks in my craw. It always has.

And now that I have vented sufficiently, I'll be the parent I want to be. Groupthink be damned!

[irishope]

You know what's funny. You don't want to be judged but then you end up judging. I don't feel I am being judged just an observatioin I made.

[teendoc]

I'm not judging anyone. How many times do I have to say this?

I'm right there with you

[anonymous]

Liana, I don't know you but I've seen you around the boards :) and I just want to say I totally agree...I am not going to Attachment Parent, it does not feel instinctual to me at all and frankly I don't understand the rationale behind most of it. People talk about how much better it is for kids, yet I never see any statistics proving HOW or WHY it's better, and I am one of those "show me the statistics" people. I was also raised in a household where housewives or "SAHMs" as they're now called were regarded, if not as a step above a crack whore, definitely as ignorant saps who had really set themselves up for failure if something ever happened to their husband. It was also hammered into me from an early age that WOMEN NEED THEIR OWN MONEY and if you did not find some way to support yourself, you were basically voluntarily turning yourself into a victim. I think being a SAHM is a fine choice if you're torqued that way, but I would be a raving lunatic in the space of about a month if I didn't know I had some kind of higher-level adult

Re: I'm right there with you

[teendoc]

Thanks for feeling my words and agreeing. I'll look for the book you suggested.

Peace!

[grassyslough]

Parts of your post remind me a lot of one of my good friends before she became pregnant. Some of her thoughts about motherhood did change after her child was born, and some did not. I am NOT suggesting by this that there's an automatic changing of the mind when you have a child and you'll become like "the Mommies." But I do think that sometimes (often?) parents do change their mind about some things, only because sometimes reality likes to mess with theory.

You'll be a great mom. And I definitely agree that there are a wide variety of styles that can still fall under the umbrella of "good mom."

[teendoc]

Oh I know things will change but there are some basic things I can guarantee:

1. I will not ever be a SAHM. Mason can stay at home if he wishes, but I will not.
2. I will not make my own organic baby food.
3. "Bonding" will not make it to my vocabulary, unless we are talking about teeth. :-)

Robinj

[anonymous]

Well, gee, this is your blog and you can cry if you want to

Re: Robinj

[teendoc]

Robin