DW Fic: Plotting a New Course (1/4) Ten II/Rose
Title: Plotting a New Course (1/4)
Disclaimer: I don’t own Doctor Who.
Pairing/Characters: Ten II/Rose, Jackie, Tyler clan
Summary: The Doctor and Rose, post-Journey’s End. “I’m not him ‘cos he wouldn’t tell you he loves you? Rose, do you have any idea how screwed up that sounds?”
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Through 4x13.
Word Count: 3, 129
A/N: Oddly, I haven’t written a fic set directly post-JE yet. I guess I just needed a few months to think about it first. World building is a daunting prospect! :D
Thanks to mrv3000 for the beta read!
“It’s still you, then?”
Jackie’s stare made him feel itchy and he idly scratched the back of his neck, peering hopefully at the door in the hopes that Rose would walk through and save him. They’d walked to the nearest hotel without speaking to each other and with Jackie occasionally complaining about the weather (“That sun will give us heatstroke if we stay out here much longer”) and her ankles (“Haven’t been the same since I gave birth to Tony,” she’d said, leaving Doctor with the unpleasant task of wondering what childbirth had to do with ankles). But Rose had held his hand and that seemed like enough.
They’d barely reached the hotel when she dropped his hand and declared she was going for a walk. She hadn’t been back since.
It occurred to him that maybe Rose wasn’t coming back at all, that maybe she’d gone to test out her dimensional cannon again to try and find the other Doctor. Which wouldn’t work, he told himself determinedly, with a confidence he didn’t feel.
Rose had kissed him. That meant… well, he didn’t know what it meant, exactly, but he didn’t think it meant she’d leave. Besides, it was cold out and she was only wearing that blue jacket-she’d have to come back soon.
Slowly, he turned his gaze back to Jackie.
“Yeah,” he said, “it’s me.”
Her slap caught him completely off-guard.
“Ow!” he yelped, cradling his cheek, “What on earth was that for?”
“You left her on a BEACH!” Jackie exploded. “She spent years trying to find you again and you chucked her out like she meant nothing.”
“What?” he said, not quite certain whether he should be ducking another slap or offended that Jackie had just called Rose ‘nothing.’ “Now, hold on, I might be me, but that… that is not fair.”
Then, without warning, Jackie threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. Hard. He flailed once and then settled for hugging her back, patting her gently on the back like one might try and pacify a rabid racoon.
“It’s good that you’re here,” Jackie said, still clutching him tightly. The Doctor began to worry he might pass out from oxygen deprivation. “She hasn’t been the same since you two were separated. But it will be better now, won’t it? The pair of you, you’ll look out for each other.”
“Yeah, Jackie,” he managed. “We will. I promise.”
She pulled away and the Doctor took in a much-needed gulp of air. She looked a bit contrite. “Sorry about hitting you.”
“That’s all right,” the Doctor said hurriedly, oddly pleased that Jackie seemed to accept him as himself. If only Rose would…
He glanced hopefully at the door again. She didn’t walk through it.
Jackie tutted. “Go on, then. Go and look for her.”
“I don’t know, Jackie,” he said because of course he wanted nothing more than to be with Rose after so many years, but he wasn’t sure he could quite take Rose looking at him like he was only second best.
He felt a sudden stir of empathy for Martha. How had she stood it, all that time?
“Pete is sending a car by to collect us tomorrow morning,” said Jackie. “Nothing much to do until then.”
He couldn’t stop his scoff. “A car? It’ll take us ages to get back to London. I’ll be grey before we even arrive. Blimey, is this what humans do? Spend half their lives in these confined spaces trying to get from one place to another…” the Doctor abruptly trailed off as Jackie folded her arms over her chest and raised her chin. He cleared his throat. “My that was nice of Pete, sending a car over to collect us. I ought to thank him when we get back.”
Jackie sighed and unfolded her arms. “You’re not going to convince her if you hide in here, you know.”
He blinked at her, momentarily stunned by how perceptive she could be. “No, I suppose not.”
“Well, then,” she jerked her head towards the door. “On your way. Just make sure you’re back to catch that car tomorrow morning.”
He grinned. “Right.” And then, “Thanks, Jackie.”
*****
It didn’t take the Doctor long to find her. He followed her footprints in the sand, leading away from the hotel and back down to the beach.
Rose was sitting on a rock overlooking the ocean, her legs pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her knees. She stared intently at the beach, body still, like a statue. Her nose was red, but it didn’t look like she’d been crying. She shivered in the wind and then turned to look at him as he approached.
Her stare was guarded and mistrustful. She didn’t say anything as he approached, didn’t even crack a smile. His one heart began to pound very fast. He didn’t think it should hurt this much-didn’t think it was possible for Rose to hurt him like this, with just a look-but it did. It would be fascinating, really (all those human hormones and adrenaline reacting with his Time Lord genes) if it wasn’t such an effort to keep himself moving.
Finally, he came to a stop in front of her. Rose brushed her hair out of her face. “Hi,” she said softly.
“Hi,” he responded. “Rose-”
“Doctor-” she said at the same time.
They stopped and stared at each other. It had only been a few hours ago she had kissed him, and back then it had actually seemed worth it-turning part human, giving up the TARDIS, everything.
“Doctor,” she began again, voice breaking. “I just need some time-”
“It’s me,” he interrupted. Time. It suddenly felt like he had so little of that left. “Rose, it’s me.”
She shook her head. “You’re different.”
“Well, yeah, I am a bit. I’ve got bits of Donna and bits of humanity-but, Rose, it’s still me.”
Rose’s nose was beginning to run from the cold and she absently wiped it with her sleeve. “The fact that you said it at all just proves it.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I’m not him ‘cos he wouldn’t tell you he loves you? Rose, do you have any idea how screwed up that sounds?”
He could tell that he’d gotten through to her. She looked away from him, amused smile tugging at her mouth. “Suppose it is, yeah.”
He held out a hand. “Come on, come back to the hotel. It’s freezing out here.”
Rose glanced at his hand. He wriggled his fingers. She hesitated.
“I’ll buy you chips,” he needled. “Answer any questions you’ve got - just… just come with me.”
She looked at him then, perhaps sensing the desperation in his voice. “He didn’t say goodbye,” she began, apparently uninterested in the offer for chips. Well, it wasn’t like he had any money anyway. “He just turned and left.”
Her voice broke on the last word and he felt his heart stutter in sympathy. Oh. So that was what really bothered her. Blimey, no wonder Jackie hit him.
Still, if it had been him-which it had been, technically speaking, which made him quite the authority on the subject-he reckoned he would have done exactly the same.
“Rose,” he said carefully, “he was leaving behind the woman he loved. Forever. Do you think he could have stood it, taking the time to say goodbye?”
One tear slipped down her cheek and she furiously brushed it away. “You burned up a sun,” she whispered.
He felt another pang, and then yet another one-this time hopeful-when he realized she’d said “you” and not “him.”
“That was different,” he said, matching her quiet tone. “There was no temptation then, no way to have you back in the TARDIS. Back there, I…”
He couldn’t go on. He settled for holding out his hand again, giving her an encouraging smile.
She blinked at his hand and then, with a small nod, let their fingers entwined together. “S’good hand,” she said, squeezing his fingers. “Yeah?”
“Oh, yes,” he said, winking. He pulled her to her feet, suddenly unable to wipe the grin off his face. “I can’t do this without you, you know. Well, I could, me being… well, me. But honestly, Rose, 21st century London? We’ll have to travel by car. Or Zeppelin, I suppose. Two centuries later and we’d have teleport pods. It’s certainly not TARDIS-travel, going by teleport, but you can cross the entire planet in the span of a few seconds,” he paused for breath, vaguely aware that Rose was looking at him with a funny expression on her face, but it suddenly seemed important that he keep talking. “We will go traveling, won’t we? There are still places I haven’t seen. I bet Australia would be brilliant. Or India! I always do seem to end up in London, for some reason.”
“I guess…” Rose began.
“Great! Brilliant!” the Doctor said, beaming at her. She hesitantly smiled back. “Your mum’s settled in for the night, by the way. Did I tell you she hit me? She gave us the room next door. It’s not the best I’ve ever stayed in, but it’ll do. I checked under the bed, and it has not been invaded by space beetles. Always check for space beetles, Rose. What?”
Rose’s expression had gone from confused to downright worried. “Is it hard for you?” she said, like she was just hitting on something important. “Without the TARDIS, I mean.” She swallowed, looking near tears again. “God, you’re just… stuck here. Trapped. How could he…”
“Rose-” this time her name sounded desperate. He grabbed both her hands, tugging her close to him. “I’ll be all right.”
She searched his eyes, biting down on her bottom lip. “You’ll go mad.”
“No, I won’t. I’ve been trapped on Earth before.”
“Not forever.”
“Rose.” He released her hands and took a step back, dragging one hand through his hair. He shot one disgusted look at the ocean-what had ever possessed him to drop them both off here, of all places?-before shoving both hands in his pockets and facing her again. “I’ll be fine. I’ll adjust.”
Rose rubbed her hands together, suddenly looking cold and tired. He’d give her his coat, if he still had it. He frowned - he’d really liked that coat.
“Come on,” he said instead, reaching for her hand again. Her fingers closed around his. “Come back inside.”
He tugged on her hand, but she didn’t move. “Rose,” he urged, beginning to feel chilled himself, but Rose didn’t move.
“Doctor,” she said very softly. And then, “Oh, my god, Doctor.” Without uttering anything else, she leaned into him, arms coming up to circle his neck. She let out a soft sigh, breath whistling against the open collar of his throat. His arms automatically came up to embrace her.
The cold, the rest of the beach seemed to fade away. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d done this. He wondered if she’d hugged the other Doctor. She probably had. Of course, she’d kissed him.
She stirred, and then pressed one hand to his chest. Her forehead crinkled. “Is it weird? Only having one heart?”
“A little bit,” he said. “I’ve only got one chance now. That’s it.”
She raised her eyes to meet his. “And that…” she said slowly, “that changes things?”
He licked his lips, suddenly finding it much harder to talk. He nodded.
She was so close and she smelled the same and different than he remembered - like shampoo and vanilla perfume and sweat. His eyes were drawn to her lips, slightly blue from the cold and it made him very much want to kiss her again.
She blushed under his stare. “We should get back.”
“We should. You’ll catch cold if you stay out here. I could catch cold.” He paused, frowning. “That’s never happened to me before. Ooh, that’s something, isn’t it? I’m half-human now. I’ll need a job and everything. That’s how you lot make money, isn’t it? And we’ll need money if we want to buy anything useful like a house or a car or parts for our own teleport pods. And we’ll have to build defences around the house, obviously, in case of an alien invasion in the middle of the night and-”
“Doctor,” Rose said abruptly, cutting him off. He stopped and blinked at her, and she took a breath before leaning in to kiss him. Rose really was brilliant. (How had he done that? What had he said? He should really remember this for next time.)
Rose pulled away, smiling shyly and biting down on her bottom lip. “Is that…?” she began.
“Brilliant,” he said, hoping this might mean she’d kiss him again.
Rose only grinned happily and tugged on his hand, pulling him back towards the hotel. He followed her silently. Did this mean she accepted him? When was she going to kiss him again? Could he kiss her now? What was he going to do for a job? How was his other self getting on? Donna…
There was a heavy feeling pressing on his chest when they reached their hotel room. It sunk in little bits at a time-how much his life had changed in the span of a few minutes. There was no TARDIS, no traveling time and space and saving planets, just life as it came, one day at a time.
Rose let go of his hand and she went to fiddle with the bedcovers, idly plumping the pillows and then smoothing back the comforter. She didn’t say anything.
He looked around. Ah-one bed. She was nervous, then.
He shrugged off his jacket, tossing it idly over the nearest chair before looking at her. His hand felt empty without hers in it. He’d only had her back a few hours, and yet the urge to touch her, to reassure himself that she was still there felt overwhelming. He didn’t know if those were his new human instincts or simply a product of being without her so long. Maybe a bit of both.
“Can I…?” he began and Rose’s face grew more troubled and worried. Oh. Oh. “I just want to hold you,” he said in a rush. “If that’s all right.”
Her cheeks coloured and then she nodded. She took a deep breath and then undid her jacket, tossing it next to his. It landed on the chair with a soft thunk.
They stared at each other. “So I’ll just…” Rose began. She moved towards the bed, kicking off her shoes before pulling the covers back. She turned to look at him with a warm smile, “You coming?”
Her smile seemed to ease the tension in the room. “Yeah,” he said. “Course.” He also pulled off his shoes and followed her.
Rose slid into bed and then leaned against the headboard, watching him quietly. He got in next to her, eyes darting around the room before settling back on her. She was still watching him.
“What is it?”
Rose looked a little sheepish. “It’s just… it’s silly.” He raised his eyebrows and she sighed, “Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?” he said absently, fighting back a yawn. He was suddenly knackered. How odd. Sleep-that was another thing he’d have to get used to.
“Back there, on the beach, when you said… when you said that you…”
“When I told you that I love you,” the Doctor finished, the words still feeling strange in his mouth.
Rose nodded. “You meant it, yeah? It wasn’t just so I’d stay behind?”
He stared at her, momentarily too stunned to say anything. How could she think…? Then Jackie’s words came back to him. You left her on a beach, she’d said. You chucked her out like she meant nothing. It couldn’t be further from the truth, but how was Rose supposed to know that unless he told her?
“Rose,” he said, keeping his voice measured and steady, “I absolutely meant it.”
“Oh,” Rose whispered. Then she smiled. “Thought so.”
Her smile sent a pleasant jolt through his stomach. Without thinking about it, he leaned in and kissed her. She eagerly kissed him back, arms winding around his neck and body leaning instinctively into his.
Eventually he remembered what he’d said earlier-he just wanted to hold her, he said, which had sounded like a wise plan at the time. Things were so new, in so many ways. But it was remarkably easy to kiss her and harder to remember why he should stop.
“Rose,” he finally managed, pressing one more kiss to the corner of her mouth before pulling away. “We should get some rest.”
Rose looked slightly dazed, but then she snapped to attention. “Yeah, we’ve got that early car ride tomorrow morning,” she said, but she sounded disappointed.
He decided not to dwell on that. Rose reached over to flick off the bedside lamp, bathing the room in darkness. His eyes adjusted in seconds. The bed shifted as Rose settled down against the pillows, stretching out on her side so she could look at him.
“Doctor?”
“Yeah?”
She sounded sheepish. “I just… I can’t believe you’re really here.”
They smiled at each other.
“Tell me something-anything,” Rose said. “What have you been up to these last few years? How’d you meet Donna? And Jack! How come he didn’t die back there on the Crucible?”
Now there was a list of things he didn’t want to talk about. “Not much to tell. Same old life in the TARDIS.”
She nodded, but her face fell. He felt guilty for avoiding the questions, but he wasn’t quite ready to be reminded of everything he’d lost. He just… he needed to think about the future-about being here, with Rose, for the rest of their lives. He could do that.
“You’re still working for Torchwood?” he said.
“Yeah,” Rose said, “Helps, having Dad there. He didn’t even blink when I started talking about the dimensional cannon…” she trailed off. “You’ll fit right in, if you want.”
The words were out before he could stop them. “Rose, I’m not working for Torchwood.”
“Oh,” Rose said, looking hurt again.
This wasn’t going right at all.
“Come on,” he said. He lifted one arm and gestured her closer. She sighed in resignation and then slid against him, nose practically bumping his. “Hello,” she whispered.
“Hi.” His arm wound around her back, holding her close. If he closed his eyes, he could just make out each of their heartbeats.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Rose whispered, voice hot against his neck.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Rose said, “you’re not such a bad pillow, all things considered.”
He grinned and couldn’t stop himself from tickling her side. She laughed and it was one of the best sounds in the universe.
Chapter Two
Disclaimer: I don’t own Doctor Who.
Pairing/Characters: Ten II/Rose, Jackie, Tyler clan
Summary: The Doctor and Rose, post-Journey’s End. “I’m not him ‘cos he wouldn’t tell you he loves you? Rose, do you have any idea how screwed up that sounds?”
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Through 4x13.
Word Count: 3, 129
A/N: Oddly, I haven’t written a fic set directly post-JE yet. I guess I just needed a few months to think about it first. World building is a daunting prospect! :D
Thanks to mrv3000 for the beta read!
“It’s still you, then?”
Jackie’s stare made him feel itchy and he idly scratched the back of his neck, peering hopefully at the door in the hopes that Rose would walk through and save him. They’d walked to the nearest hotel without speaking to each other and with Jackie occasionally complaining about the weather (“That sun will give us heatstroke if we stay out here much longer”) and her ankles (“Haven’t been the same since I gave birth to Tony,” she’d said, leaving Doctor with the unpleasant task of wondering what childbirth had to do with ankles). But Rose had held his hand and that seemed like enough.
They’d barely reached the hotel when she dropped his hand and declared she was going for a walk. She hadn’t been back since.
It occurred to him that maybe Rose wasn’t coming back at all, that maybe she’d gone to test out her dimensional cannon again to try and find the other Doctor. Which wouldn’t work, he told himself determinedly, with a confidence he didn’t feel.
Rose had kissed him. That meant… well, he didn’t know what it meant, exactly, but he didn’t think it meant she’d leave. Besides, it was cold out and she was only wearing that blue jacket-she’d have to come back soon.
Slowly, he turned his gaze back to Jackie.
“Yeah,” he said, “it’s me.”
Her slap caught him completely off-guard.
“Ow!” he yelped, cradling his cheek, “What on earth was that for?”
“You left her on a BEACH!” Jackie exploded. “She spent years trying to find you again and you chucked her out like she meant nothing.”
“What?” he said, not quite certain whether he should be ducking another slap or offended that Jackie had just called Rose ‘nothing.’ “Now, hold on, I might be me, but that… that is not fair.”
Then, without warning, Jackie threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. Hard. He flailed once and then settled for hugging her back, patting her gently on the back like one might try and pacify a rabid racoon.
“It’s good that you’re here,” Jackie said, still clutching him tightly. The Doctor began to worry he might pass out from oxygen deprivation. “She hasn’t been the same since you two were separated. But it will be better now, won’t it? The pair of you, you’ll look out for each other.”
“Yeah, Jackie,” he managed. “We will. I promise.”
She pulled away and the Doctor took in a much-needed gulp of air. She looked a bit contrite. “Sorry about hitting you.”
“That’s all right,” the Doctor said hurriedly, oddly pleased that Jackie seemed to accept him as himself. If only Rose would…
He glanced hopefully at the door again. She didn’t walk through it.
Jackie tutted. “Go on, then. Go and look for her.”
“I don’t know, Jackie,” he said because of course he wanted nothing more than to be with Rose after so many years, but he wasn’t sure he could quite take Rose looking at him like he was only second best.
He felt a sudden stir of empathy for Martha. How had she stood it, all that time?
“Pete is sending a car by to collect us tomorrow morning,” said Jackie. “Nothing much to do until then.”
He couldn’t stop his scoff. “A car? It’ll take us ages to get back to London. I’ll be grey before we even arrive. Blimey, is this what humans do? Spend half their lives in these confined spaces trying to get from one place to another…” the Doctor abruptly trailed off as Jackie folded her arms over her chest and raised her chin. He cleared his throat. “My that was nice of Pete, sending a car over to collect us. I ought to thank him when we get back.”
Jackie sighed and unfolded her arms. “You’re not going to convince her if you hide in here, you know.”
He blinked at her, momentarily stunned by how perceptive she could be. “No, I suppose not.”
“Well, then,” she jerked her head towards the door. “On your way. Just make sure you’re back to catch that car tomorrow morning.”
He grinned. “Right.” And then, “Thanks, Jackie.”
*****
It didn’t take the Doctor long to find her. He followed her footprints in the sand, leading away from the hotel and back down to the beach.
Rose was sitting on a rock overlooking the ocean, her legs pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her knees. She stared intently at the beach, body still, like a statue. Her nose was red, but it didn’t look like she’d been crying. She shivered in the wind and then turned to look at him as he approached.
Her stare was guarded and mistrustful. She didn’t say anything as he approached, didn’t even crack a smile. His one heart began to pound very fast. He didn’t think it should hurt this much-didn’t think it was possible for Rose to hurt him like this, with just a look-but it did. It would be fascinating, really (all those human hormones and adrenaline reacting with his Time Lord genes) if it wasn’t such an effort to keep himself moving.
Finally, he came to a stop in front of her. Rose brushed her hair out of her face. “Hi,” she said softly.
“Hi,” he responded. “Rose-”
“Doctor-” she said at the same time.
They stopped and stared at each other. It had only been a few hours ago she had kissed him, and back then it had actually seemed worth it-turning part human, giving up the TARDIS, everything.
“Doctor,” she began again, voice breaking. “I just need some time-”
“It’s me,” he interrupted. Time. It suddenly felt like he had so little of that left. “Rose, it’s me.”
She shook her head. “You’re different.”
“Well, yeah, I am a bit. I’ve got bits of Donna and bits of humanity-but, Rose, it’s still me.”
Rose’s nose was beginning to run from the cold and she absently wiped it with her sleeve. “The fact that you said it at all just proves it.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I’m not him ‘cos he wouldn’t tell you he loves you? Rose, do you have any idea how screwed up that sounds?”
He could tell that he’d gotten through to her. She looked away from him, amused smile tugging at her mouth. “Suppose it is, yeah.”
He held out a hand. “Come on, come back to the hotel. It’s freezing out here.”
Rose glanced at his hand. He wriggled his fingers. She hesitated.
“I’ll buy you chips,” he needled. “Answer any questions you’ve got - just… just come with me.”
She looked at him then, perhaps sensing the desperation in his voice. “He didn’t say goodbye,” she began, apparently uninterested in the offer for chips. Well, it wasn’t like he had any money anyway. “He just turned and left.”
Her voice broke on the last word and he felt his heart stutter in sympathy. Oh. So that was what really bothered her. Blimey, no wonder Jackie hit him.
Still, if it had been him-which it had been, technically speaking, which made him quite the authority on the subject-he reckoned he would have done exactly the same.
“Rose,” he said carefully, “he was leaving behind the woman he loved. Forever. Do you think he could have stood it, taking the time to say goodbye?”
One tear slipped down her cheek and she furiously brushed it away. “You burned up a sun,” she whispered.
He felt another pang, and then yet another one-this time hopeful-when he realized she’d said “you” and not “him.”
“That was different,” he said, matching her quiet tone. “There was no temptation then, no way to have you back in the TARDIS. Back there, I…”
He couldn’t go on. He settled for holding out his hand again, giving her an encouraging smile.
She blinked at his hand and then, with a small nod, let their fingers entwined together. “S’good hand,” she said, squeezing his fingers. “Yeah?”
“Oh, yes,” he said, winking. He pulled her to her feet, suddenly unable to wipe the grin off his face. “I can’t do this without you, you know. Well, I could, me being… well, me. But honestly, Rose, 21st century London? We’ll have to travel by car. Or Zeppelin, I suppose. Two centuries later and we’d have teleport pods. It’s certainly not TARDIS-travel, going by teleport, but you can cross the entire planet in the span of a few seconds,” he paused for breath, vaguely aware that Rose was looking at him with a funny expression on her face, but it suddenly seemed important that he keep talking. “We will go traveling, won’t we? There are still places I haven’t seen. I bet Australia would be brilliant. Or India! I always do seem to end up in London, for some reason.”
“I guess…” Rose began.
“Great! Brilliant!” the Doctor said, beaming at her. She hesitantly smiled back. “Your mum’s settled in for the night, by the way. Did I tell you she hit me? She gave us the room next door. It’s not the best I’ve ever stayed in, but it’ll do. I checked under the bed, and it has not been invaded by space beetles. Always check for space beetles, Rose. What?”
Rose’s expression had gone from confused to downright worried. “Is it hard for you?” she said, like she was just hitting on something important. “Without the TARDIS, I mean.” She swallowed, looking near tears again. “God, you’re just… stuck here. Trapped. How could he…”
“Rose-” this time her name sounded desperate. He grabbed both her hands, tugging her close to him. “I’ll be all right.”
She searched his eyes, biting down on her bottom lip. “You’ll go mad.”
“No, I won’t. I’ve been trapped on Earth before.”
“Not forever.”
“Rose.” He released her hands and took a step back, dragging one hand through his hair. He shot one disgusted look at the ocean-what had ever possessed him to drop them both off here, of all places?-before shoving both hands in his pockets and facing her again. “I’ll be fine. I’ll adjust.”
Rose rubbed her hands together, suddenly looking cold and tired. He’d give her his coat, if he still had it. He frowned - he’d really liked that coat.
“Come on,” he said instead, reaching for her hand again. Her fingers closed around his. “Come back inside.”
He tugged on her hand, but she didn’t move. “Rose,” he urged, beginning to feel chilled himself, but Rose didn’t move.
“Doctor,” she said very softly. And then, “Oh, my god, Doctor.” Without uttering anything else, she leaned into him, arms coming up to circle his neck. She let out a soft sigh, breath whistling against the open collar of his throat. His arms automatically came up to embrace her.
The cold, the rest of the beach seemed to fade away. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d done this. He wondered if she’d hugged the other Doctor. She probably had. Of course, she’d kissed him.
She stirred, and then pressed one hand to his chest. Her forehead crinkled. “Is it weird? Only having one heart?”
“A little bit,” he said. “I’ve only got one chance now. That’s it.”
She raised her eyes to meet his. “And that…” she said slowly, “that changes things?”
He licked his lips, suddenly finding it much harder to talk. He nodded.
She was so close and she smelled the same and different than he remembered - like shampoo and vanilla perfume and sweat. His eyes were drawn to her lips, slightly blue from the cold and it made him very much want to kiss her again.
She blushed under his stare. “We should get back.”
“We should. You’ll catch cold if you stay out here. I could catch cold.” He paused, frowning. “That’s never happened to me before. Ooh, that’s something, isn’t it? I’m half-human now. I’ll need a job and everything. That’s how you lot make money, isn’t it? And we’ll need money if we want to buy anything useful like a house or a car or parts for our own teleport pods. And we’ll have to build defences around the house, obviously, in case of an alien invasion in the middle of the night and-”
“Doctor,” Rose said abruptly, cutting him off. He stopped and blinked at her, and she took a breath before leaning in to kiss him. Rose really was brilliant. (How had he done that? What had he said? He should really remember this for next time.)
Rose pulled away, smiling shyly and biting down on her bottom lip. “Is that…?” she began.
“Brilliant,” he said, hoping this might mean she’d kiss him again.
Rose only grinned happily and tugged on his hand, pulling him back towards the hotel. He followed her silently. Did this mean she accepted him? When was she going to kiss him again? Could he kiss her now? What was he going to do for a job? How was his other self getting on? Donna…
There was a heavy feeling pressing on his chest when they reached their hotel room. It sunk in little bits at a time-how much his life had changed in the span of a few minutes. There was no TARDIS, no traveling time and space and saving planets, just life as it came, one day at a time.
Rose let go of his hand and she went to fiddle with the bedcovers, idly plumping the pillows and then smoothing back the comforter. She didn’t say anything.
He looked around. Ah-one bed. She was nervous, then.
He shrugged off his jacket, tossing it idly over the nearest chair before looking at her. His hand felt empty without hers in it. He’d only had her back a few hours, and yet the urge to touch her, to reassure himself that she was still there felt overwhelming. He didn’t know if those were his new human instincts or simply a product of being without her so long. Maybe a bit of both.
“Can I…?” he began and Rose’s face grew more troubled and worried. Oh. Oh. “I just want to hold you,” he said in a rush. “If that’s all right.”
Her cheeks coloured and then she nodded. She took a deep breath and then undid her jacket, tossing it next to his. It landed on the chair with a soft thunk.
They stared at each other. “So I’ll just…” Rose began. She moved towards the bed, kicking off her shoes before pulling the covers back. She turned to look at him with a warm smile, “You coming?”
Her smile seemed to ease the tension in the room. “Yeah,” he said. “Course.” He also pulled off his shoes and followed her.
Rose slid into bed and then leaned against the headboard, watching him quietly. He got in next to her, eyes darting around the room before settling back on her. She was still watching him.
“What is it?”
Rose looked a little sheepish. “It’s just… it’s silly.” He raised his eyebrows and she sighed, “Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?” he said absently, fighting back a yawn. He was suddenly knackered. How odd. Sleep-that was another thing he’d have to get used to.
“Back there, on the beach, when you said… when you said that you…”
“When I told you that I love you,” the Doctor finished, the words still feeling strange in his mouth.
Rose nodded. “You meant it, yeah? It wasn’t just so I’d stay behind?”
He stared at her, momentarily too stunned to say anything. How could she think…? Then Jackie’s words came back to him. You left her on a beach, she’d said. You chucked her out like she meant nothing. It couldn’t be further from the truth, but how was Rose supposed to know that unless he told her?
“Rose,” he said, keeping his voice measured and steady, “I absolutely meant it.”
“Oh,” Rose whispered. Then she smiled. “Thought so.”
Her smile sent a pleasant jolt through his stomach. Without thinking about it, he leaned in and kissed her. She eagerly kissed him back, arms winding around his neck and body leaning instinctively into his.
Eventually he remembered what he’d said earlier-he just wanted to hold her, he said, which had sounded like a wise plan at the time. Things were so new, in so many ways. But it was remarkably easy to kiss her and harder to remember why he should stop.
“Rose,” he finally managed, pressing one more kiss to the corner of her mouth before pulling away. “We should get some rest.”
Rose looked slightly dazed, but then she snapped to attention. “Yeah, we’ve got that early car ride tomorrow morning,” she said, but she sounded disappointed.
He decided not to dwell on that. Rose reached over to flick off the bedside lamp, bathing the room in darkness. His eyes adjusted in seconds. The bed shifted as Rose settled down against the pillows, stretching out on her side so she could look at him.
“Doctor?”
“Yeah?”
She sounded sheepish. “I just… I can’t believe you’re really here.”
They smiled at each other.
“Tell me something-anything,” Rose said. “What have you been up to these last few years? How’d you meet Donna? And Jack! How come he didn’t die back there on the Crucible?”
Now there was a list of things he didn’t want to talk about. “Not much to tell. Same old life in the TARDIS.”
She nodded, but her face fell. He felt guilty for avoiding the questions, but he wasn’t quite ready to be reminded of everything he’d lost. He just… he needed to think about the future-about being here, with Rose, for the rest of their lives. He could do that.
“You’re still working for Torchwood?” he said.
“Yeah,” Rose said, “Helps, having Dad there. He didn’t even blink when I started talking about the dimensional cannon…” she trailed off. “You’ll fit right in, if you want.”
The words were out before he could stop them. “Rose, I’m not working for Torchwood.”
“Oh,” Rose said, looking hurt again.
This wasn’t going right at all.
“Come on,” he said. He lifted one arm and gestured her closer. She sighed in resignation and then slid against him, nose practically bumping his. “Hello,” she whispered.
“Hi.” His arm wound around her back, holding her close. If he closed his eyes, he could just make out each of their heartbeats.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Rose whispered, voice hot against his neck.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Rose said, “you’re not such a bad pillow, all things considered.”
He grinned and couldn’t stop himself from tickling her side. She laughed and it was one of the best sounds in the universe.
Chapter Two