The First Adventure of Sock and Underoosa, Chapter 3
Title: One Time They Weren't, Chapter Three
Fandom: Star Trek 2009
Characters: Spock, Uhura, Kirk, McCoy
A/N: This is it for the first of the four stories.
Warnings: pure crack, serpent god, more stupid premises
( Read Story One, Chap. 1 )
( Read Story One, Chap. 2 )
Only after Lieutenant Uhura had eaten an enormous hole through his fourth and final gold top did Kirk think to ask the ship's storekeeper send him an entire bolt of the gold fabric for her meals. Of course, by then he figured she was welcome to what was left of his uniforms; he had the storekeeper beam down a new duffel full of new shirts, instead.
"But it just doesn't make sense, Bones," Jim mused. "Sint Holo said their metabolisms would slow down. And you know what Spock's like; he hardly eats even when he's humanoid."
Bones was no help. He just referred to the list of his crewmates' nutritional needs and shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe you should try usin' that famous Kirk charm to get the kid to change 'em back instead of whinin' to me about it."
The horned serpent god was no help. When the captain confronted him on the lieutenant's unexpectedly voracious appetite, Sint Holo wave his head in what was probably a sentient snake's equivalent of a shrug and said "She's female."
Asking Spock the Sock was a waste of time. He was by turns taciturn and combative. "Lieutenant Uhura's appetite is a personal matter, Captain," he finally said, but only after Kirk ordered him to explain the holey shirts.
Uhura wasn't exactly eager to assist, either. "Why don't you work on getting that brat to change us back," she snapped, tagging on a belated "sir" when Jim opened his mouth to protest. "And how about that privacy?"
Kirk tried not to notice that the blue, red and black scraps of cloth were nowhere in sight.
.
.
Three Days Later
Bones was pretty sure he didn't want to be any help. Sint Holo's less than satisfactory explanation had run through his head long enough to make the kind of sense he didn't want it to make. He sure as hell didn't want to be the one to confirm his suspicions.
"I think I know what's going on," he told his friend. "You're gonna have to open the duffel." He told him why.
No surprise that Jim wasn't exactly handing out cigars at the prospect. "I would prefer not to."
"Look, Bartleby, it's your luggage and they're your officers. Open it."
"I'm a starship captain, not a doctor! You open it."
"Damn it, Jim! Open the blasted bag!"
.
Kirk opened the blasted bag.
When a pair of booties and a creeper came tumbling out screaming "Mama!" he started cursing little girl goddesses and their lenient parents the universe over. Loudly and vehemently.
"Not in front of the children!" chided Bones.
"Thank you, Doctor," said the sock.
The brown satin teddy beamed proudly.
On To The Next Adventure!
Fandom: Star Trek 2009
Characters: Spock, Uhura, Kirk, McCoy
A/N: This is it for the first of the four stories.
Warnings: pure crack, serpent god, more stupid premises
( Read Story One, Chap. 1 )
( Read Story One, Chap. 2 )
Only after Lieutenant Uhura had eaten an enormous hole through his fourth and final gold top did Kirk think to ask the ship's storekeeper send him an entire bolt of the gold fabric for her meals. Of course, by then he figured she was welcome to what was left of his uniforms; he had the storekeeper beam down a new duffel full of new shirts, instead.
"But it just doesn't make sense, Bones," Jim mused. "Sint Holo said their metabolisms would slow down. And you know what Spock's like; he hardly eats even when he's humanoid."
Bones was no help. He just referred to the list of his crewmates' nutritional needs and shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe you should try usin' that famous Kirk charm to get the kid to change 'em back instead of whinin' to me about it."
The horned serpent god was no help. When the captain confronted him on the lieutenant's unexpectedly voracious appetite, Sint Holo wave his head in what was probably a sentient snake's equivalent of a shrug and said "She's female."
Asking Spock the Sock was a waste of time. He was by turns taciturn and combative. "Lieutenant Uhura's appetite is a personal matter, Captain," he finally said, but only after Kirk ordered him to explain the holey shirts.
Uhura wasn't exactly eager to assist, either. "Why don't you work on getting that brat to change us back," she snapped, tagging on a belated "sir" when Jim opened his mouth to protest. "And how about that privacy?"
Kirk tried not to notice that the blue, red and black scraps of cloth were nowhere in sight.
.
.
Three Days Later
Bones was pretty sure he didn't want to be any help. Sint Holo's less than satisfactory explanation had run through his head long enough to make the kind of sense he didn't want it to make. He sure as hell didn't want to be the one to confirm his suspicions.
"I think I know what's going on," he told his friend. "You're gonna have to open the duffel." He told him why.
No surprise that Jim wasn't exactly handing out cigars at the prospect. "I would prefer not to."
"Look, Bartleby, it's your luggage and they're your officers. Open it."
"I'm a starship captain, not a doctor! You open it."
"Damn it, Jim! Open the blasted bag!"
.
Kirk opened the blasted bag.
When a pair of booties and a creeper came tumbling out screaming "Mama!" he started cursing little girl goddesses and their lenient parents the universe over. Loudly and vehemently.
"Not in front of the children!" chided Bones.
"Thank you, Doctor," said the sock.
The brown satin teddy beamed proudly.
On To The Next Adventure!