The First Adventure of Sock and Underoosa, Chapter 2
Title: One Time They Weren't, Chapter Two
Fandom: Star Trek 2009
Characters: Spock, Uhura, Kirk, McCoy
A/N: According to www.godchecker.com, Inanna was a Mesopotamian goddess of language, words, syntax and meaning, and Sint Holo is a Cherokee god of language, writing and the alphabet. Other sources with give them other attributes, but it's best to ignore that for the purposes of this ficlet.
Warnings: pure crack, bratty juvenile "goddess", naked Sock
( Read Story One, Chap. 1 )
Meanwhile
Kirk stared up at the giant horned serpent, careful to keep his most diplomatic smile in place. "Sir, you've said that nothing she does is beyond your ability to undo," he said with a forced patience anyone who knew him would see through immediately. "If your child won't change them back, then you'll have to do it."
Clearly morose, the god of language and writing shook his massive head.
"I'm afraid I cannot do that, Captain. If my child is to learn from this experience, she must be who returns your companions to their former forms."
Sint Holo undulated over to his recalcitrant offspring. She was staring at her feet and wrapping a long, dark braid around the fingers of her left hand.
"Inanna." He sighed sadly at his defiant daughter. "I am very disappointed in your behavior. Please go to your room and remain there until you are able to represent the House of Semanti in a more respectful manner."
The little goddess slunk out of the throne room, shoulders drooping and feet dragging with every step.
"Let's see if I've got this straight," Jim snarked, all pretense of patience going the way of the Triassic Period, "you're saying teaching your daughter a lesson is more important than saving two lives?" Kirk folded his arms across his chest, his crystal blue eyes going cold as the North Sea. "And then, just to make sure we feel really welcome on your planet, to show us how well you've got things under control, the kid gets a time out for turning two of my best officers into underwear?"
"Your officers' lives are not in danger. While they remain articles of clothing, their bodily functions will be ongoing, but with significantly slowed metabolisms. They will have only a limited need for sustenance, and that can be met through the ingestion of other textiles. I will make sure your physician receives complete care instructions within the hour. In the meantime, you have made the best choice by packing them away. You will be informed before Inanna is ready to change them back."
"Jim..." McCoy backed up his half-spoken admonishment with a firm grip on the captain's bulging bicep.
"I understand your frustration, Captain," the god said. His tone was almost placating, but there was a steel behind it that told Bones the snake wouldn't be changing his mind anytime soon. "If Inanna has not restored Commander Spock and Lieutenant by the time our negotiations are complete, I will pursue the matter further and employ an alternate punishment for her. More than that, I cannot promise you."
The snake nodded to the two men and slithered out the way his daughter had gone.
Jim turned to his friend as soon as they were alone.
"Bones, you gotta do something!"
"And just what exactly did you have in mind, genius?" McCoy looked skeptical, fresh out of patience and ready to argue. Since that was how he usually looked, Jim wasn't deterred.
"You're a dad," he pointed out like this was news to the doctor. "Can't you talk some sense into him?"
"Damn it, Jim!" McCoy snapped. "I'm a doctor, not Super Nanny for the divine. You heard her daddy, same as I did. He ain't reversin' the spell or whatever you call it. We either got to wait until it wears off or until Baby Goddess cools down.
"'Sides," he added in an undertone, "Joanna don't sass adults, so that ain't something I ever had to deal with."
.
.
The Next Day
Sock and Underoosa, that is Spock and Uhura, peeled apart as light exploded into the duffel.
"Shit, Kirk! Ever heard of knocking?" An extremely embarrassed piece of lingerie burrowed under a gold uniform shirt in a flash of brown silk.
Jim frowned down at his friends, and inadvertently caught sight of tiny red, blue and black scraps of cloth covering a strategic area of a large unbleached-cotton sock. He averted his eyes as soon as the slightest hint of comprehension threatened. "Do I even want to know?"
"Probably not, Captain," the sock said dryly. Abruptly changing tack, he offered, "Although at the moment my wife would prefer privacy, perhaps I might be of some assistance?"
"I uh, I just needed a fresh uniform," he replied, still staring anywhere but down. He heard a soft rustling from the depths of the duffel, then Spock's voice, strangely tiny and quiet, saying, "If you reach in with your right hand, the required clothing lying thirteen centimeters to the left of the right-hand corner."
Gingerly, Kirk did as instructed, ignoring the urge to ask how a sock and a nightie-type-thingie had managed to move his things around. As he lifted the neat pile of clothes free, he could only just hear Uhura muttering incoherently.
"Lieutenant Uhura is hungry, Jim," Spock told him. "She says that your shirts are particularly appetizing and would like to know if you would be averse to allowing us to use one to meet our nutritional needs."
"Yeah. Sure. Whatever." Without looking at either officer again, Kirk sealed the luggage and headed for the shower.
.
As darkness descended inside the duffel, a handsome sock scooted closer to a slip of sexy satin.
"Shall we continue our investigation, ashayam?" Spock murmured. Uhura shimmied even closer until she could press her silken lips his.
Chapter 3
Fandom: Star Trek 2009
Characters: Spock, Uhura, Kirk, McCoy
A/N: According to www.godchecker.com, Inanna was a Mesopotamian goddess of language, words, syntax and meaning, and Sint Holo is a Cherokee god of language, writing and the alphabet. Other sources with give them other attributes, but it's best to ignore that for the purposes of this ficlet.
Warnings: pure crack, bratty juvenile "goddess", naked Sock
( Read Story One, Chap. 1 )
Meanwhile
Kirk stared up at the giant horned serpent, careful to keep his most diplomatic smile in place. "Sir, you've said that nothing she does is beyond your ability to undo," he said with a forced patience anyone who knew him would see through immediately. "If your child won't change them back, then you'll have to do it."
Clearly morose, the god of language and writing shook his massive head.
"I'm afraid I cannot do that, Captain. If my child is to learn from this experience, she must be who returns your companions to their former forms."
Sint Holo undulated over to his recalcitrant offspring. She was staring at her feet and wrapping a long, dark braid around the fingers of her left hand.
"Inanna." He sighed sadly at his defiant daughter. "I am very disappointed in your behavior. Please go to your room and remain there until you are able to represent the House of Semanti in a more respectful manner."
The little goddess slunk out of the throne room, shoulders drooping and feet dragging with every step.
"Let's see if I've got this straight," Jim snarked, all pretense of patience going the way of the Triassic Period, "you're saying teaching your daughter a lesson is more important than saving two lives?" Kirk folded his arms across his chest, his crystal blue eyes going cold as the North Sea. "And then, just to make sure we feel really welcome on your planet, to show us how well you've got things under control, the kid gets a time out for turning two of my best officers into underwear?"
"Your officers' lives are not in danger. While they remain articles of clothing, their bodily functions will be ongoing, but with significantly slowed metabolisms. They will have only a limited need for sustenance, and that can be met through the ingestion of other textiles. I will make sure your physician receives complete care instructions within the hour. In the meantime, you have made the best choice by packing them away. You will be informed before Inanna is ready to change them back."
"Jim..." McCoy backed up his half-spoken admonishment with a firm grip on the captain's bulging bicep.
"I understand your frustration, Captain," the god said. His tone was almost placating, but there was a steel behind it that told Bones the snake wouldn't be changing his mind anytime soon. "If Inanna has not restored Commander Spock and Lieutenant by the time our negotiations are complete, I will pursue the matter further and employ an alternate punishment for her. More than that, I cannot promise you."
The snake nodded to the two men and slithered out the way his daughter had gone.
Jim turned to his friend as soon as they were alone.
"Bones, you gotta do something!"
"And just what exactly did you have in mind, genius?" McCoy looked skeptical, fresh out of patience and ready to argue. Since that was how he usually looked, Jim wasn't deterred.
"You're a dad," he pointed out like this was news to the doctor. "Can't you talk some sense into him?"
"Damn it, Jim!" McCoy snapped. "I'm a doctor, not Super Nanny for the divine. You heard her daddy, same as I did. He ain't reversin' the spell or whatever you call it. We either got to wait until it wears off or until Baby Goddess cools down.
"'Sides," he added in an undertone, "Joanna don't sass adults, so that ain't something I ever had to deal with."
.
.
The Next Day
Sock and Underoosa, that is Spock and Uhura, peeled apart as light exploded into the duffel.
"Shit, Kirk! Ever heard of knocking?" An extremely embarrassed piece of lingerie burrowed under a gold uniform shirt in a flash of brown silk.
Jim frowned down at his friends, and inadvertently caught sight of tiny red, blue and black scraps of cloth covering a strategic area of a large unbleached-cotton sock. He averted his eyes as soon as the slightest hint of comprehension threatened. "Do I even want to know?"
"Probably not, Captain," the sock said dryly. Abruptly changing tack, he offered, "Although at the moment my wife would prefer privacy, perhaps I might be of some assistance?"
"I uh, I just needed a fresh uniform," he replied, still staring anywhere but down. He heard a soft rustling from the depths of the duffel, then Spock's voice, strangely tiny and quiet, saying, "If you reach in with your right hand, the required clothing lying thirteen centimeters to the left of the right-hand corner."
Gingerly, Kirk did as instructed, ignoring the urge to ask how a sock and a nightie-type-thingie had managed to move his things around. As he lifted the neat pile of clothes free, he could only just hear Uhura muttering incoherently.
"Lieutenant Uhura is hungry, Jim," Spock told him. "She says that your shirts are particularly appetizing and would like to know if you would be averse to allowing us to use one to meet our nutritional needs."
"Yeah. Sure. Whatever." Without looking at either officer again, Kirk sealed the luggage and headed for the shower.
.
As darkness descended inside the duffel, a handsome sock scooted closer to a slip of sexy satin.
"Shall we continue our investigation, ashayam?" Spock murmured. Uhura shimmied even closer until she could press her silken lips his.
Chapter 3