Bang Bang I used to shoot you down - OTA

[hunt_the_devil]

John was out at the outdoor shooting range, the sheltered range area was damp but thankfully devoid of snow and a little warmer than the uncovered range point had been. Toying with the Taurus Millennium Handgun John had already inspected the handgun for any barrel obstructions, dirt and debris before loading the ammunition

Comments

[slimy_droog]

The sound of gunshots automatically made Mortimer think of Agent Zero. The bloke had been okay, but Freddy had been right in saying Zero was a bit of a robot sometimes.

Walking towards the sound, he was looking aside as he spoke.

"Wanking off to another semi-automatic, Zero?"

Once the words were spoken, he was looking right at someone very... not Zero.

"Aw, piss."

[slimy_droog]

"You make a lady blush, sir. From up North, I am. York, home of the Kit Kat bars and borring posh fucks."

Mortimer took a look at the place where the targets once stood.

"Impressive. I gots to run everywhere. Or jump, like David Lee Roth says. You ever use that on anyone else? Caused a bit of the sickies, yeah?"

[hunt_the_devil]

"I've teleported a couple of people on occasion but most people tend to suffer from motion sickness." John shrugged, "Not everyone is cut out for the life of a teleporter I guess."

He set the targets down taking up a new gun and loading in a clip. He fired off several rounds at the new targets before lowering the weapon.

"So why did you leave the UK an' how'd you meet Fred?"

[slimy_droog]

Tell me about it, Mortimer almost said. The first time he had hitched a ride with a teleporter had also been the last. Toad had puked a nasty concoction and then been walking lopsided for hours.

However, going back into his past was a little... difficult. By this point, Mortimer had a well rehearsed variation of his life story, one he called the family-rated version.

"Move around lots. Went through the Uk, said 'right, I'm through with'at,' went to the states. Came across Freddy at a yank bar. Didn' exactly... hit it off at first. Can't imagine why."

[hunt_the_devil]

And at that last comment John laughed, a genuine full bellied laugh.

"Aww heck don't tell me he tried to bench press you?" Yeah, John remembered that was roughly how Bradley had been introduced to the group, innocently walking past minding his own geeky business and then suddenly Fred had been demonstrating how he could lift the guy over his head.

John on the other hand had been insulted and called every cowboy associated name under the sun until he eventually snapped and told Fred he could go stick his bowl of chilli where the sun didn't shine and then fuck off.

They'd been firm friends ever since.

"So you now decided to come join us lot. Tell me you didn't fall for the crap that Stryker spews." John got the feeling Mortimer wasn't that stupid.

[slimy_droog]

Mortimer gave the man a sly grin.

"No, ain't never had the pleasure. Freddy an me, we had a bit of an... altercation. He told me to move, I says to him 'get poked, wanker,' I begin to run, cos' he give chase, an' he sees me in all me green glory. I sees him with his superhero muscles and I says 'you ain't bad, mate'. That confuses his 'ed, and I offers him a drink. Been best mates ever since."

Cocking his head, he scoffed at the idea of being seduced into the service.

"No, I has a job elsewhere. Nice lad, tole' me I'd be fine help here."

[hunt_the_devil]

"Sounds like Fred alright." John finished off the rounds in the clip and set the gun down before leaning against the wall.

"Well that nice lad I hope mentioned we're stuck in the middle of fuckin' nowhere in ass freezin' Russia an' it's in a camp of mutants all with egos bigger than the camp can handle?" He smirked a little, he got the feeling Mort would want the honest approach. "This ain't a job Mortimer, it's a punishment."

[slimy_droog]

Mortimer watched as Wraith explained, eyebrows raised.

"Not so bad... not so far anyways. Lots of lovely plump arses to look at..." he thought of poor Fred and his new mutation. "And not so lovely."

He chuckled.

"An' don't worry 'bout egos. I'm quite used to them by now. They should be more worried about handlin' me." He winked.

[hunt_the_devil]

"I get the feelin' you're gonna be settlin' in just fine around here Mortimer." John laughed a little but it was good to know that there was going to be one less person to worry over in camp.

There were so many faces and so many potential disagreements that John wondered if he should just resign from his referee role.