Bouncing back?

Apr 12, 2013 17:25

I've posted here several times before and you guys have given me great advice. I'm a first year teacher in a high poverty school, teaching 8th grade. I have struggled a LOT with classroom management ( Read more... )

classroom management

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Comments 28

redcoog April 12 2013, 21:58:37 UTC
They said you need to yell more?? Wow!

Maybe you can take their letters into consideration and then have a chat with them on Monday. The majority of people said xyz, is this really what you want? Should I really have to yell? etc. I would imagine much of their lives contains people yelling to get what they want. Do you think the class would respond to a conversation like that?

As one of my teammates recently said to me, you can attract more bees with honey. Treating people kindly will get your further than treating them rudely, etc.

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briar_lily April 14 2013, 01:35:27 UTC
Yup, they said I needed to scream more like the other teachers. It shocks me too, I've never encountered kids like this. We had a class meeting before, made class rules together, it didn't work. They made fun of the rules and went out of their way to break them.

I'm with you on attracting more bees with honey. I've always been a big believer in respect, being positive and treating others how you want to be treated. However, according to their letters, I'm soft and a weak teacher because I say please and thank you. I'm at a loss of how to deal with them.

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shes_unreal April 14 2013, 03:30:28 UTC
FWIW I also teach at a poor urban school, and while I try my best to avoid raising my voice, to be perfectly honest if the kids are accustomed to being screamed at when they're at home, normal modes of communication might not register to them. Thankfully my kids are at a point where a loud, "Excuse me!" and some glaring will get them to settle down. But when I first started teaching at this school last year, mid year, after a revolving door of substitutes for months and the teacher hired before me being run off by the kids after two days, I had to come in with a no-nonsense attitude and have my admin back me up with "write as many referrals as you need" to get those kids under control.

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briar_lily April 14 2013, 21:37:58 UTC
My admin kind of threw me in there with absolutely no help. Since I am being laid off at the end of the year, my VP told me to "just survive" until the end of the year. Unfortunately, I'm having breakdowns during planning and crying myself to sleep at night. "Just surviving" is not working.

Thank you for the advice! it's good to hear from other people who are in these types of schools.

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mrssubee April 12 2013, 22:02:13 UTC
take time for yourself this weekend and relax- go in on Monday ready to take control...set the new ground rules and follow up on what you say you'll do (call parents, lunch detention, etc.) you don't have much longer :)

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briar_lily April 14 2013, 01:36:27 UTC
So true! I have a hard time reaching parents- a lot of them have unworkable numbers or never respond to messages- but I think they will be spending a lot of time in ISS for the rest of the year.

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becksbooks April 12 2013, 22:02:19 UTC
Booze, mostly ( ... )

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erinkathleen April 13 2013, 17:11:48 UTC
YES, all good advice. Love & Logic is my Bible for middle school. Be fair & consistent. Pretend you like them as convincingly as you can--everybody wants to be liked, especially middle schoolers. Chat with them one on one at any opportunity...ask what they did over the weekend or whatever, just take an interest! Don't think of it as trying to get them to like YOU--some of them are so hardened to teachers after years of being hollered at and seen as a problem. Think of it as you learning to like THEM. Before you know it, you may even start to genuinely enjoy them from time to time ( ... )

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briar_lily April 14 2013, 01:54:11 UTC
Several have mentioned to me I "can't be their friend" in their letters. No, I don't think I act friend like, but I always ask how their weekends went, tell them to have a good day at the end of the day as they leave, smile at them as they come in....I was a huge believer in positivity and respect before I came here. But, they take all that, including saying please and thank you, as evidence that I am soft and need to be "more aggressive". They are, quite simply, the students from hell. I have several great students and I feel guilty I can't do more for them.

I don't think I want to teach anymore, but I am not sure. I have had a very hard time. I have been desperately unhappy all year. Thank you for the advice! It is nice to know even people that have been teaching a while have their rough days.

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briar_lily April 14 2013, 01:39:36 UTC
You are so right...they are kids and I shouldn't let what they think hurt me. I have to keep that in mind!

I am going to start sending more out. I was told by admin to wait until after CRCT, but oh well. I've got to do what I've got to do, and sending out those kids will probably help the whole class.

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briar_lily April 14 2013, 01:42:07 UTC
I'm so GLAD someone else understands!! I feel so alone since I'm the only new eighth grade teacher at my school. Same things applies here- they are fine for the other teachers (not well behaved at all, but manageable) and horrible for me. I have thought about quitting SO many times, but I knew I needed to finish out the year. I am not planning on teaching again, unless it is in a much better school district. I feel like such a failure and it is affecting everything, including my health and relationships. I cry almost every day.

I am sorry you are having such a tough time too. PM me anytime! :)

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briar_lily April 14 2013, 21:39:24 UTC
Nope, cannot fail students.

My teammates are very nice, but everyone on the hall talks about how ill equipped I am to handle these kids. They all feel sorry for me, and that embarasses me. The admin is useless. They provide no help and tell me to "just survive" until the end of the year.

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wytetygryss April 13 2013, 01:13:13 UTC
It is SO hard... I teach a 3/4 split and I am having one of those years. As others have said, try to find the good things... Take time for you... Try not to engage them or take things personally. For me, this year has been so bad that I was off for over 2 months, went back part time in February, and am still not back up to full time. I will be looking at the job postings for other schools in my board when they come out later this month...

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briar_lily April 14 2013, 01:42:31 UTC
I need to start focusing on good things :) Thanks for the advice!

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