I've posted here several times before and you guys have given me great advice. I'm a first year teacher in a high poverty school, teaching 8th grade. I have struggled a LOT with classroom management
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Seriously, I have to remind myself that having a 14-15 y.o. dislike me doesn't really matter in the long run and I refuse to have my feelings hurt by one (although when you have a group like that, it is harder).
At the end of the day, find 3-5 good things to write down about the day so I can end on a happy note. It can sometimes be hard, but there's usually ONE kid in a class that will make me smile or surprise me by doing better than usual.
I have a friend who put a small sign up near the ceiling in the back of her room that said "Do not engage". The kids never seemed to notice it and it helped her remember to not get into a power struggle with a kid For ex: she tells a kid to stop talking and he says "But everyone ELSE is talking!" (my favorite). Rather than go back and forth, she'd simply use the love and logic stuff and say "You have a choice - you can choose to be on task and behave appropriately, or you can choose to miss class today" and then STOP. If the kid keeps talking, then just ask them to leave. No engagement in argument, just "you made your choice, I'm sorry, better luck tomorrow." (repeat that last if necessary, but don't respond to arguments, just silently wait for them to leave before continuing class). The "do not engage" sign helped her remember the whirlpool of suckitude that would destroy her sanity if she let the kids begin an argument of any kind with her.
When a class goes well, see what's different. For me, it's usually 3-5 kids that make a class a living hell. My first year at this school, I had "that class" of freshmen. The entire group had the attitude "we all know we're terrible kids. You can't help us any more." Even with that, in any given group, there were usually 3-5 kids who instigated most of the trouble. If they weren't there (or if even two were gone), the class was all of a sudden functional. It was amazing. So find the cancer and do what you can to cut it out.
YES, all good advice. Love & Logic is my Bible for middle school. Be fair & consistent. Pretend you like them as convincingly as you can--everybody wants to be liked, especially middle schoolers. Chat with them one on one at any opportunity...ask what they did over the weekend or whatever, just take an interest! Don't think of it as trying to get them to like YOU--some of them are so hardened to teachers after years of being hollered at and seen as a problem. Think of it as you learning to like THEM. Before you know it, you may even start to genuinely enjoy them from time to time :)
It's so hard not to take it personally when they misbehave, especially when you run your classroom based on relationships like this, but I always, always try to remember how hard it was to be a middle schooler (and I was a relatively wealthy, academically competent middle schooler without any of the genuine problems my students have). They're having a worse day than I am, just because they had to come to middle school today.
Hang in there! I've been teaching 8 years and I still have days when I feel like I can't do it anymore. It feels awful in the moment, but then the very next day everything's lovely and I can't even remember why I felt that way. It's almost summer!
Several have mentioned to me I "can't be their friend" in their letters. No, I don't think I act friend like, but I always ask how their weekends went, tell them to have a good day at the end of the day as they leave, smile at them as they come in....I was a huge believer in positivity and respect before I came here. But, they take all that, including saying please and thank you, as evidence that I am soft and need to be "more aggressive". They are, quite simply, the students from hell. I have several great students and I feel guilty I can't do more for them.
I don't think I want to teach anymore, but I am not sure. I have had a very hard time. I have been desperately unhappy all year. Thank you for the advice! It is nice to know even people that have been teaching a while have their rough days.
You are so right...they are kids and I shouldn't let what they think hurt me. I have to keep that in mind!
I am going to start sending more out. I was told by admin to wait until after CRCT, but oh well. I've got to do what I've got to do, and sending out those kids will probably help the whole class.
If you haven't read Love and Logic, I highly recommend it. It's a way to be strict without the screaming - you don't get walked on, but you don't have to turn in to uber-bitch, either.
I've told classes before that if their behavior warrants removal, I will send every one of them out. I've never had to remove more than three kids before the rest settled down (some because they realized I was serious, but most because without the instigators around, they had nothing to react to - SO much of the trouble in a class is kids who are not bad themselves reacting to a few determinedly disruptive students).
Seriously, I have to remind myself that having a 14-15 y.o. dislike me doesn't really matter in the long run and I refuse to have my feelings hurt by one (although when you have a group like that, it is harder).
At the end of the day, find 3-5 good things to write down about the day so I can end on a happy note. It can sometimes be hard, but there's usually ONE kid in a class that will make me smile or surprise me by doing better than usual.
I have a friend who put a small sign up near the ceiling in the back of her room that said "Do not engage". The kids never seemed to notice it and it helped her remember to not get into a power struggle with a kid For ex: she tells a kid to stop talking and he says "But everyone ELSE is talking!" (my favorite). Rather than go back and forth, she'd simply use the love and logic stuff and say "You have a choice - you can choose to be on task and behave appropriately, or you can choose to miss class today" and then STOP. If the kid keeps talking, then just ask them to leave. No engagement in argument, just "you made your choice, I'm sorry, better luck tomorrow." (repeat that last if necessary, but don't respond to arguments, just silently wait for them to leave before continuing class). The "do not engage" sign helped her remember the whirlpool of suckitude that would destroy her sanity if she let the kids begin an argument of any kind with her.
When a class goes well, see what's different. For me, it's usually 3-5 kids that make a class a living hell. My first year at this school, I had "that class" of freshmen. The entire group had the attitude "we all know we're terrible kids. You can't help us any more." Even with that, in any given group, there were usually 3-5 kids who instigated most of the trouble. If they weren't there (or if even two were gone), the class was all of a sudden functional. It was amazing. So find the cancer and do what you can to cut it out.
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It's so hard not to take it personally when they misbehave, especially when you run your classroom based on relationships like this, but I always, always try to remember how hard it was to be a middle schooler (and I was a relatively wealthy, academically competent middle schooler without any of the genuine problems my students have). They're having a worse day than I am, just because they had to come to middle school today.
Hang in there! I've been teaching 8 years and I still have days when I feel like I can't do it anymore. It feels awful in the moment, but then the very next day everything's lovely and I can't even remember why I felt that way. It's almost summer!
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I don't think I want to teach anymore, but I am not sure. I have had a very hard time. I have been desperately unhappy all year. Thank you for the advice! It is nice to know even people that have been teaching a while have their rough days.
Reply
I am going to start sending more out. I was told by admin to wait until after CRCT, but oh well. I've got to do what I've got to do, and sending out those kids will probably help the whole class.
Reply
I've told classes before that if their behavior warrants removal, I will send every one of them out. I've never had to remove more than three kids before the rest settled down (some because they realized I was serious, but most because without the instigators around, they had nothing to react to - SO much of the trouble in a class is kids who are not bad themselves reacting to a few determinedly disruptive students).
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