I kind of...don't want to meet a person until the third date?
LMAO...that actually made entirely too much sense. And amen to this whole rant. Around here, I can't even walk down the street without some dude sticking his head out the window of his pickup truck, making nasty-ass kissy faces at me, and yelling some vile shit in Spanish he prob'ly thinks I can't understand. It is SO FUCKING CREEPY and just makes my skin go all crawly. This is even WORSE when the guy is, like, 50. Seriously, you'd think 50 is old enough to realize it's rude to do drive-by lechery on random pedestrians, but apparently not! And the one who get pissy and indignant when you make it clear you're not interested...those clowns just piss me off and scare me.
I really thought it would have stopped before I turned thirty! I've only got about 4 months to go, dammit!
Ugh. The worst one was back when I had a boyfriend, and this guy actually grabbed my bag from me-- not to steal it, but to SHOW WHAT A GENTLEMAN HE WAS. And then got down on his knees and told me he was so lonely. Usually they just try to get your attention a few times.
A couple times, I've had guys sincerely try to pick me up. And they're always like "you look like such an interesting person. Seriously? I dress pretty ordinarily. There is nothing interesting about me to the naked eye except my hair and my tits. If I were wearing weirdass clothes I would kind of understand it, but mostly I wear jeans and a leather jacket, which is standard NYC fare. They don't think I look "interesting." One time-- once I gave a guy who randomly tried to pick me up a chance. I told him that I would consider seeing him again if he was willing to correspond over email for a few weeks first. He was like,"but I hate email!" I was like,
( ... )
I don't really know how I feel about catcalling, tbh. Sometimes I just think it's funny, but I think that depends entirely on who's doing it and what's being said. If it's a bunch of college/younger guys being ridiculous I don't care too much about it because I know they're harmless. Maybe this is because I do the same thing with my friends when we're in a silly mood - we roll down the windows and shout at guys on the street. Just for laughs, not because we really want their hot, hot lovin'.
When people say really lewd things, though, or seem serious about the catcalling, that's when it bothers me. Silliness is one thing, really thinking that catcalling is going to get you the goods is another.
See, I've never once seen a woman do it to a man unless she already knows the man and is joking around. And I think it's a bit different in New York-- we're a pedestrian city. Men will follow you on the street and keep saying "Hey, sexy," until you reply or speed up and get away.
That's a good point. Most of my experience with it has been in a college town where nobody takes it very seriously. It's just something to do to get attention. The cars vs pedestrians thing makes sense. I've only had guys follow me on foot once and it was terrifying, so I can imagine my perspective would be different if it happened to me regularly. Cars don't scare me as much.
And I hadn't thought about it before, but I just realized I don't think I've had a single person do the catcall/inapproperate random hitting on me while I'm waiting for the subway/whatever thing in New Orleans, compared to it being a fairly regular happening in Boston.
See, I got it a lot less in Boston than I ever did in New York. I didn't even think of it as a regular occurrence in Boston. Usually it will happen once for every hour or so I'm outside here? Which is why Woodside was right out; if that's the way the people normally act, I don't think I could live there.
That is interesting. I do think it's partly a cultural thing-- I know that in Italy it's pretty commonplace and I don't want to say it's accepted but it's much more a part of the culture than it is here, and I do think part of it may have to do with New York being so intercultural that there are more issues with men from a culture where that's the norm doing it to women from a culture where it's considered debasing. So I don't know if it's completely unheard of in Creole/French culture and that might make it nonexistent?
Also, I agree about the catcalls and stuff. It's just creepy and sketch-tastic when guys do that. The worst is when they do it in foreign languages... *shudders*
Mmm, I don't think I've had anyone do it in anything but English or Spanish in New York, and I don't really think Spanish counts as a foreign language around here? In Italy, the guys obviously do it in Italian, and the Italians are REALLY sketchy with the pickups, but I think the lewd gestures would be the same if they were doing it in English.
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LMAO...that actually made entirely too much sense. And amen to this whole rant. Around here, I can't even walk down the street without some dude sticking his head out the window of his pickup truck, making nasty-ass kissy faces at me, and yelling some vile shit in Spanish he prob'ly thinks I can't understand. It is SO FUCKING CREEPY and just makes my skin go all crawly. This is even WORSE when the guy is, like, 50. Seriously, you'd think 50 is old enough to realize it's rude to do drive-by lechery on random pedestrians, but apparently not! And the one who get pissy and indignant when you make it clear you're not interested...those clowns just piss me off and scare me.
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Ugh. The worst one was back when I had a boyfriend, and this guy actually grabbed my bag from me-- not to steal it, but to SHOW WHAT A GENTLEMAN HE WAS. And then got down on his knees and told me he was so lonely. Usually they just try to get your attention a few times.
A couple times, I've had guys sincerely try to pick me up. And they're always like "you look like such an interesting person. Seriously? I dress pretty ordinarily. There is nothing interesting about me to the naked eye except my hair and my tits. If I were wearing weirdass clothes I would kind of understand it, but mostly I wear jeans and a leather jacket, which is standard NYC fare. They don't think I look "interesting." One time-- once I gave a guy who randomly tried to pick me up a chance. I told him that I would consider seeing him again if he was willing to correspond over email for a few weeks first. He was like,"but I hate email!" I was like, ( ... )
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When people say really lewd things, though, or seem serious about the catcalling, that's when it bothers me. Silliness is one thing, really thinking that catcalling is going to get you the goods is another.
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And I hadn't thought about it before, but I just realized I don't think I've had a single person do the catcall/inapproperate random hitting on me while I'm waiting for the subway/whatever thing in New Orleans, compared to it being a fairly regular happening in Boston.
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Also, I agree about the catcalls and stuff. It's just creepy and sketch-tastic when guys do that. The worst is when they do it in foreign languages... *shudders*
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