023: [ visual ] / [ location: Hyperion Hotel ] Before I come undone

[glowingseer]

No, no, no -

"No!"

Cordelia wakes up with a start, sitting upright on her bed with her hands clutching her blanket like a lifeline. For several moments she looks around her in alarm, wondering where the hell she is and where the others are, wondering if this is another one of those times she unfortunately opened her eyes only to be sliced and

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[ location: cordelia's room ]

[glowingseer]

Cordelia cries out when he unintentionally presses on some of her cuts, and holds on to his arms in an attempt to make him loosen his hold on her. She sucks in her breath and closes her eyes. "No," she says quickly, swallowing the urge to throw up. It will pass, it will pass, it will pass...

Then she rethinks her answer, as her knees threatened to buckle from under her. "I think I just need to... sit down." Or lie down, but damn if she's going to admit that Wes is right, that she needs to rest.

[ location: cordelia's room ]

[glowingseer]

She sighs, a bit relieved once she can feel the bed under her. Cordelia opens her eyes and smiles slightly at Angel, before tugging his hand - as if inviting him to sit with her as well. Right now, she really needs someone to lean on - literally and figuratively speaking, and Angel's bulk makes him an ideal wall right now.

And to be honest? She doesn't want to sleep. Not if the nightmares are going to start all over again.

"Stay?" she asks.

[ location: cordelia's room ]

[glowingseer]

She can sense when you're wanting to brood and deliberate over matters gloomily, Angel. Better get used to it.

Cordelia rests the side of her head on his chest, and concentrates on her breathing, waiting for the wooziness to pass. If he had a heartbeat, she would've been hearing it by now - but, it's actually better, more comforting that he didn't. She clutches his shirt with one hand and scoots closer, making herself more comfortable in the process. His presence, his familiar scent, everything about Angel is helping to soothe her now - and she's suddenly very, very grateful that they got to her - to all of them - just in time.

[ location: cordelia's room ]

[glowingseer]

About what? she almost asks - but Cordelia catches herself in time. "I feel like I should get a tattoo," she says, tightening her hold on his shirt. "Something that says, 'I don't blame my stupid manpire' for anything. You think that would look good on my forehead?"

[ location: cordelia's room ]

[glowingseer]

She draws away and places one hand on his cheek. "Of course not," Cordelia says softly. "I just... want to make things easier for you, Angel. Why are you blaming yourself? You didn't do anything."

...especially with Drusilla, but that was already understood and something she didn't want to talk about again.

[ location: cordelia's room ]

[glowingseer]

"That's stupid," she says firmly. "And so not the point of all this. She went after me because I had a vision of you returning - so hey, maybe we should blame the Powers for this entire thing, since they were the one who sent me that vision in the first place."

[ location: cordelia's room ]

[glowingseer]

She brings her other hand up and cups his face.

"I got scared, too," she admits in a low voice. "While in that room, I thought... I thought I'd never see you again. You, Wes, Fred, Lorne... everyone else. But you, most of all. It scared me so much because I thought I'd never get the chance to say goodbye, or even tell you how much I love you - and that, I think, was the worst thing about that entire experience."

Cordelia reaches up to kiss him. Then, "But I'm here now. You saved me - and I can't ever begin to tell you how grateful I am for that."