SYSTEM GLITCH || ALIENS TALK: DAY ONE

[taxcollectors]

All throughout the day, tablets across Taxon will be ringing. The chime is simple, a four part melody that's pleasing to the ear and completely unique compared to any other signal the tablets have sounded. Just a simple little ditty, effortless and pretty. The tablet's screen reads thusly, with font a bright and calming blue:

--VOICE COMMUNICATION

Comments

[azurehalo]

[Elena answers her tablet reflexively when it rings, before really stopping to consider who might be on the other end.]

Hello?

[taxcollectors]

[The voice that answers is disjointed, choppy, and oddly generic sounding, as well as irrepressibly cheerful.]

Hi there,| valued resident! | We'd like to ask you a couple of questions-- | but don't worry, we won't be keeping score. | So, what do you say? | A minute of your time is all we ask.

[azurehalo]

[Her voice drops from 'cautiously warm' to 'hypothermia warning'.]

Oh, it's you. First let me ask you something: what do you want with us?

[taxcollectors]

[Is that a slight angry buzz to the voice's tone? Maybe it's just interference.]

Inquiring minds can kiss my buttress-- | Let's remember who's the who, here | and not to exit stage left | I'll be asking the questions this evening, so | are you game?

[Location: Sanctuary]

[oldoldghost]

"Alright, Alright!" And so the recently returned Brigitta enters her bedroom grumpily; coffee in one hand and a dagger in the other- some habits are hard to break even after months and months after all; and to be perfectly honest breaking this one is not at the top of her priority list.

The coffee is soon thumped down upon a table and her momentarily discarded tablet is back in her hands and being poked at roughly until she finally manages to press the button that answers it. A minor miracle really.

"Yeah, what?"

[taxcollectors]

[Hello, Brigitta! The voice that answers is happily masculine, a little oldish, and disjointed in the most peculiar way.]

What what | yourself there, sailor. | Nosy beings know | a lot of things | but we've got a few questions today! | Care to answer a few?

[oldoldghost]

[There is a brief scramble as she switches over to voice and then a rather puzzled pause as she considers the question verrrrry slowly]

...Why on earth are you speaking like that?

[taxcollectors]

Not to worry | dear | it's just a little hiccup. | But enough about me! | How have you been? Getting on well in your new place?

[voice]

[deadmanbrucolac]

Yes? I hear you.

[voice]

[taxcollectors]

Hi there, friend! | Could we trouble you for a parsec | of your valuable time to ask some questions? | They're quick and painless and | low-fat, high in fibre!

[voice]

[deadmanbrucolac]

No trouble at all, if you'll answer my questions one for one. Tell me who you are, and ask your first question.

[voice]

[taxcollectors]

We're the | king swingers, the big | cheeses, the Chairmen of the | Board. (There's no board). | Say, how're you liking it | here so far? Everything | tip-top and up to par?

[voice]

[beholdthedrums]

[here's an irate Master, answering]

Hn?

[voice]

[taxcollectors]

Brits, always gotta be pissy bitches. | No need to be | an angry beaver | there, pal. | We've just got | a few | questions for you. | No harm in asking.

[voice]

[beholdthedrums]

....Excuse me?

[voice]

[taxcollectors]

Questions, sir! | I've got plenty | but it takes two to tango.

[magicalskeptic]

[Morgana stares at her tablet instead of answering it. She hates the thing with every fibre of her being. The frustration of having to be here, not having anyone she knows about, and all this magic, is all taken out on one small object she picked up when she first arrive. She screams at the object.]

"Unless you are going to tell me what you want, leave me alone!"

[taxcollectors]

Now now, kiddo, settle down. | Gotta walk before you can | run. There is much to know, but it's not altogether easy to digest.

[magicalskeptic]

[ Morgana is appalled that this thing, this practitioner of dark magic just addressed her so informally.

"I will not settle down. I am not a child that needs soothing. I am Lady Morgana of Camelot and if you had any honour, you would release me or state your demands!"

[taxcollectors]

With whose strength might I strike down soldiers? Your assumptions are cruel as well as unladylike. | Now, where were we? | Step into my office, and | let us commence the interview.