SYSTEM GLITCH || ALIENS TALK: DAY ONE

[taxcollectors]

All throughout the day, tablets across Taxon will be ringing. The chime is simple, a four part melody that's pleasing to the ear and completely unique compared to any other signal the tablets have sounded. Just a simple little ditty, effortless and pretty. The tablet's screen reads thusly, with font a bright and calming blue:

--VOICE COMMUNICATION

Comments

[voice]

[deadmanbrucolac]

Yes? I hear you.

[voice]

[taxcollectors]

Hi there, friend! | Could we trouble you for a parsec | of your valuable time to ask some questions? | They're quick and painless and | low-fat, high in fibre!

[voice]

[deadmanbrucolac]

No trouble at all, if you'll answer my questions one for one. Tell me who you are, and ask your first question.

[voice]

[taxcollectors]

We're the | king swingers, the big | cheeses, the Chairmen of the | Board. (There's no board). | Say, how're you liking it | here so far? Everything | tip-top and up to par?

[voice]

[deadmanbrucolac]

Room and board, good sirs, and there is plenty of that! However, I'm not sure what qualifies as par. I respect your power, more than you know, but your follow-through raises many concerns. Do you mind very much what we do with ourselves, once we are here? Preferences for or against certain kinds of behavior?

[voice]

[taxcollectors]

The world is your | oyster, sir! Do you really | require spoonfeeding? | Babes in the basket | and the cradle will rock. | Have you experienced any | bugs/glitches | in your time here?

[voice]

[deadmanbrucolac]

Come now, don't patronize. If I'm to be your captive performer, I would like to know the theme of the play. One does like to have a little pride in one's work, after all. And do you mean personally or personal observation?

[voice]

[taxcollectors]

Model yourself on Hamlet, | if it please you. | No further instruction | will be provided. | (parts may be sold seperately) | We mean both. | Or either. | Or neither?

[voice]

[deadmanbrucolac]

Hamlet, hamlet, what odd words you use. Whose blood comes out of the hatches?

I have seen glitches - I saw a man wake up with and without a zipper on his head, and of course your little goslings all fell asleep at once the other day.

[voice]

[taxcollectors]

You're asking | all the wrong | questions. | It isn't a matter of | who, | I'll tell you that much.

Terrible | unfortunate | timing, that one. | Speaking of | consumables | how's that | blood? | Taste | bloody or | like a can of Spaghettios?

Re: [voice]

[deadmanbrucolac]

I wouldn't know, dear jailors, for many reasons. You're giving all the wrong answers, out of innocent ignorance perhaps. Blood is not simply food, it is life itself, and I will know how you produce it before I indulge. I will be cruel on my own terms only.

Come, ask me another. I have such a lovely view of your city from my ship - a kind, a thoughtful gift, bringing it here for me.

[voice]

[taxcollectors]

It's a matter | of science. | The electrons and protons | nuclei and cells | and bits of string | (sometimes that dryer lint just sticks to everything doesn't it) | that fit together to make | the cosmos. | It is | what it is.

That's | lovely! | Have you had | any trouble | with our weather? | Finding it | appropriately seasonal?

[voice]

[deadmanbrucolac]

So you congeal it in vats? Blood in some, the city's drones in others? Very efficient. They do something similar in the Ghengris, where I come from. A fine solution when whole men are too delicate or troublesome to keep.

I haven't been here long enough to say, I'm afraid, but I can tell you that the wind is strange. That the light is strange. I was awake during the day, just recently, which has never been possible before. Convenient, certainly, but strange.