023: [visual] public service announcement- not even locked

[likeajoan]

The tablet flickers on to reveal an uncharacteristically and somewhat excessively happy-looking Buffy, who apparently has something to say. Whilst beaming.

"Hi Taxon! I'm Bond. James Bond." Pause, before she bursts into a minor giggling fit. "Kidding! Really I'm Buffy. Summers, specifically-- and I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm

Comments

[voice]

[levilup]

[... wat.]

So you mean to say that there's two of you running around? Oh, fantastic news. I'm so excited. [yeah, but he doesn't sound that way.]

[voice]

[likeajoan]

[Sadly, Levi's sarcasm doesn't register with Buffy-- or if it does, she just doesn't CARE.]

Yup, that's right. Two of little old me. Isn't it wonderful? I think you'll like other-me. She's a vampire, like you! You could have vampiric fun together-- y'know, compare fangs, discuss the pros and cons of different blood types...

[levilup]

Come to think of it, I had met another one of you already, though we didn't speak extensively. I had thought she was you, to be quite honest.

[And now he sounds amused.] ... Is that what you think vampires discuss when they're alone?

[likeajoan]

Oh, that's an easy mistake-- she is me. Well, sort of. It's a whole complicated 'road not taken' alternate reality deal. I could explain it to you, but the explanation would involve shrimp.

[yeah, don't look for the logic there. THERE IS NONE.]

Honestly, I never really thought about it-- I always just assumed there's a lot of cackling and... diabolical planning and discussion of whose coffin is bigger. Maybe not in that order.

[ voice ]

[glowingseer]

Oh my god, Buffy! I was just about to tell you that it's absolutely fantastic and great that there's two of you here in Taxon. Double the blond and double the fun - well, at least until one of you tries to eat me, which will mean that I'll try to kill you or her, but still! So much yay!

[ voice ]

[likeajoan]

Oh my god, Cordy! I was about to say exactly the same thing, how great is that? And for my part, I promise not to try and eat you. I'm on this whole lo-cal diet thing where I have to swear right off the humans-- but y'know, if I was a vamp? I'd totally bite you. You'd be top on my list of possible chow.

[ voice ]

[glowingseer]

I know! And you know how I know? It's because she told me herself that she was going to eat me. I was like, 'oh my god really?' I wasn't super flattered then, but I am now! Hey, I might even moisturize my neck even more, just so my skin would be softer there, you know?

[ voice ]

[likeajoan]

She did? Great minds think alike-- or I guess the same minds do, anyway. Oh, and as for moisturizing, that'd be super-considerate. Not that you need it, of course. You already look perfectly fit to nibble.

[visual]

[justaddmarbles]

Oh hey, Buffy, it's that weird guy with the zipper again. Only he's grinning hugely and there appears to be a sprig of holly stuck in his dreadlocks. Yep, Glitch has also been Buddy'd.

"Maybe you could make up a sign so people know it's you!" he suggested with boisterous enthusiasm. "Like a password or or or or a secret handshake- or oh! You could change your name to Bond James Bond, that might do it!"

[visual]

[likeajoan]

Oh Glitch, Buffy is delighted to see you and your amazingly decorative hair. Rather enthusiastically, she exclaims:

"Ooh, yeah a really big sign! Possibly neon-- or is that tacky? Whatever, I'm all over this sign concept. There could be glitter." She looks positively thrilled with the idea.

"And I like handshakes-- secret ones are the best kind, too, 'cause they're all secretive-- just like Bond! You know what, that's it. I should be a spy. That would help, in some... non-specific way."

[visual]

[justaddmarbles]

"Neon is my favorite of the noble gases," Glitch said dreamily. "That one or helium because of the squeaky thing and the float - we could make you a neon sign and and suspend it from a helium balloon!"

Yes, he could see it now, the PHNSFNVBIT (Portable Heli-Neon Sure-Fire Non-Vapiric Buffy Identification Tool), clearly one of his best inventions of all time. OF ALL TIME.

"...or go into spying," he allowed and tapped the side of his nose conspiratorially. If he knew a damn thing about Earth pop culture he'd declare himself to be the Q to her Bond.

[visual]

[likeajoan]

"Or both." Buffy concluded conspiratorially, looking pleased with just about everything, as she continued, after an admiring pause. "Wow, you're like a genius. You're like Einstein and Beethoven and that guy who invented calculators all rolled into one genius-shaped ball of greatness."

Also, the PHNSFNVBIT is officially the best. Thing. Ever.

[visual]

[aregulargirl]

Max just stares at her tablet for a long moment. She heard Buffy, but she's still thinking she should ask her to repeat what she just said.

"Tried to eat us?"

[visual]

[likeajoan]

What's the problem, Max? This is all totally normal. :D

"Yeah, you know, 'cause that's what vampires do. Eat people. Or, I guess, technically drink people, but that doesn't have so much of a ring to it."

[visual]

[aregulargirl]

No it's not. You're weird, Buffy. :/ (But so is she, so she won't voice that opinion.)

"So there's a version of you who's like that guy who was goin' around with a giant candy cane a few days back?"

[visual]

[likeajoan]

If you think that was weird, prepare to be amazed. Buffy's babbling skills, in the total absence of tact, are formidable.

"Oh, you mean Angelus? He's my ex-boyfriend. Total cutie, am I right? Except for he's all evil at the moment. Usually he's called Angel. And he's less evil, more dark and brooding. But yeah, I guess she's like him-- oh, but she's probably stronger than your standard garden-variety vamp, given that she used to be a Slayer, like me. Exactly like me. Or just exactly me."

[visual]

[faderbroderson]

Usually, Godric would not speak to Buffy at all, but this right here? This is getting a raised-eyebrow-WTF-I-might-be-amused-but-IDK-face I don't even have a proper icon for.

"...I'm going to assume that this is a glitch."

[visual]

[likeajoan]

"Hi Godric!" She's waving. Apparently the fact that they are mortal enemies is something Buffy can overlook, under the circumstances. Also, that icon is more than proper.

"That what's a glitch? Because I can assure you that other-me is not a glitch. She's all real and tangible in the undead flesh."

[visual]

[faderbroderson]

At this point, he's kind of thinking that Buffy's existence is a glitch, but saying so would be tantamount to baiting, and it's hard to bait someone who's being artificially cheerful. It just doesn't provide the same satisfaction when the person doesn't respond with outrage.

"A vampire version of yourself is fascinatingly ironic, but I was referring to you. You are either glitched or under the influence of some kind of drug." If it's the latter, he's hoping she overdosed and she'll drop dead.

[visual]

[likeajoan]

Oh Godric, why so mean? Somebody isn't embracing the Christmas spirit...

At any rate, Buffy laughs heartily at Godric's observation. Very heartily. "You know, I hadn't thought of that, but it's completely ironic. Because I slay vampires. --Oh god, now I can say 'I slay myself' and mean it in the literal sense." Apparently this is hilarious, and there is some more giggling, before she shakes her head, comparatively sombre. "Oh, no, I don't do drugs. Drugs are bad. Drugs are like... the baddest. After demons and people that talk in theatres. I don't think I'm glitched either. Do I look glitched to you?"