Visiting Hours (Part One)

[taro_twist]

Clark Kent paused in his flight over the Eastern seaboard.  After witnessing the conversation between Lois and Richard earlier that evening, he had been working non-stop in a (somewhat futile) attempt to take his mind off of what he had heard.  He had stopped a bank robbery, a convenience store hold up, and a typhoon.  He had saved a window washer

Comments

[evangelene]

This was really great! I can't wait for more!

I am in the same boat: writing my first Bat/Supe slash and trying out the movie cross-over universe for it. You've set the bar high!

I love your descriptions of the cities:

He hovered above Gotham, its lights smoldering like a scattering of embers from a cigarette

Metropolis was certainly like Superman in that respect: no matter what you did to it, it still found a way to be obnoxiously radiant.

I love your Bruce. I actually think he reflects the movie version pretty well.

[taro_twist]

I am in the same boat: writing my first Bat/Supe slash and trying out the movie cross-over universe for it.

Yay! Other newcomers ... I am not alone in my testing-of-the-waters. :) Good luck with your fic; I'll be sure to check it out once you post it!

I love your descriptions of the cities

Glad you liked them. :) I did have fun describing Gotham and Metropolis; they have such distinct personalities, they almost feel like people themselves. That, and I currently live in Manhattan, so I have far too many opportunities to just idly come up with city imagery-it was nice to be able to put some of it to use!

I actually think he reflects the movie version pretty well.

I'll take your word for it ... as long as he sounds like some version of Bruce, then I'm satisfied. ;-P I actually did want to write Begins!Bruce initially, though, but extrapolating his character five years into the future just got too complicated, lol.

But anyway, thanks so much for your comments and all of your kind words. :D I really appreciate them!

[tmelange]

This was excellent! Outstanding! You have a great narrative voice. The smooth descriptiveness particularly impressed me, as did the internal reasoning and dialogue. Your style is very professional and memorable in the strength of the details. Just a great story and excellently done. Kudos. I can't wait to read more. :)

[taro_twist]

Thank you for reading, and for taking the time to leave such a wonderful comment (that has given me all sorts of warm, fuzzy feelings)! :D I really appreciate the feedback, especially since I was kind of nervous about this fic.

And the internal reasoning of my characters actually made sense? Yay! Whenever I write about thought processes, I feel like they come across as being illogical, so it's nice to know that other people can actually understand them. ^_^

Thanks again!

[cmer]

Oh this was truly delicious. I have a love/hate relationship whenever Batman is being distant towards someone (especially when he shouldn't be), and I enjoyed it here now. You also write beautifully, I liked your narration very much; it made me feel like I was reading a real book, not fanfic.

Please write more? This was wonderful and a great start before going to work. :)

[taro_twist]

I have a love/hate relationship whenever Batman is being distant towards someone (especially when he shouldn't be)

I know exactly what you're saying! Whenever Batman is pushing people away it tears me apart, but at the same time, I feel like that tension is part of what makes his character so engrossing, because I need to stick around to see him get over it and be happy one day, dammit. ^_^ But when I was writing this I didn't plan to make him distant ... my Bruce muse just kind of refused to not be distant, lol. So I'm happy that at least he wasn't distant in a hair-pulling, head-banging kind of way. :-P

it made me feel like I was reading a real book, not fanfic

Wow ... *is speechless* ... thank you! That is such a lovely compliment ... I think I can now die happy ... :)

Please write more?Don't worry, there's at least one more part to this story coming, which will be out shortly! And I'm definitely going to try writing more with the S/B pairing after this

[tygati]

Awwww.... Love your kicked-puppy Clark and trying-very-hard-to-stay-badass-and-failing Bruce. So awesome. ^.^

[taro_twist]

trying-very-hard-to-stay-badass-and-failing Bruce

LOL. I never thought of it that way, but that is what he's doing, isn't it? Thank you for summing up what I didn't realize I was writing, hehe ... I think it'll actually make writing the second part easier. ^_^

And thank you for reading and commenting. *grin*

[tygati]

Oooh goodie. Easier writing means we get to read it sooner, yes? ^______^

[taro_twist]

LOL. Yes, soon, soon, I promise! Sometime in the next few days. :)

[louiex]

Ooh.. another great movieverse crossover.. I can't wait for the next part!! I love how Bruce keeps trying to hold onto his feelings in order to distance himself but he can't help but get dragged into it further than his comfort levels allow, and who can't be moved by seeing Clark in that hospital bed? Again, amazing and I can't wait for more~

[taro_twist]

who can't be moved by seeing Clark in that hospital bed?

I know, that was such a sad scene-an unnerving one, too. *shivers* And yes, Bruce is definitely going to be moved when he actually makes it to the hospital ...

But anyway, thank you for commenting! I'm really happy to hear that people are liking the story so far. :D