[Fic] Immaculate conception
Title: Immaculate conception
A/N: just a bit of fun, here. Done as a request for Bluebird_Soaring (from FF.net) with the prompt "realisation" or "moment of truth".
Summary: The truth will always come out, one way or another.
The awkward silence stretched out as the humans considered the hastily put together and rather unconvincing explanation. The guilty pair carefully did not look at anyone. The rest of the crew watched, rapt, wondering if this was really going to work.
The Autobots had realised as soon as they became aware of the humans and their non-sentient technologies that the concept of intimacy between machines would be difficult for the organics to comprehend. For that reason, measures had been taken to stop the natives from entering private quarters: forceshields and holographic walls and locks coded to Cybertronian access only.
Established pairings had been instructed to take particular care not to draw attention. Duty rosters were written up so they were separated more often than not so they did not appear to be spending unusual amounts of time with each other.
Outside of quarters even holding hands was frowned upon. Pairs could be as graphic as they liked across the comm lines which the humans could not track, but physical contact was to be limited to what could be explained away as friendship or combat training.
This had led to a marked increase in enthusiasm for hand to hand combat training, even amongst those who would normally not bother. Including this pair, who had had the misfortune to get a bit carried away without realising they had guests.
"So..." Carly summed up hesitantly, "you were just training."
"And then you decided to try kissing him?" Spike choked.
"Always curious about human things." Jazz shrugged, his smile faintly forced. "Besides, I was losin' an' it was worth a try."
"With Prowl?" Chip asked, pained.
"Why not? Me an' Prowl've worked t'gether for ages. An' it works pretty good as a distraction technique."
"And that's all it was?" Carly asked.
"What else would it have been?" Prowl asked innocently.
"Well you had your hands..." she began, then went bright red and cleared her throat. "Ahem. Oh, never mind. You're both male anyway, right?"
"Sparklings come from Vector Sigma," Optimus spoke up gently, "just as you saw with Silverbolt and his team. That is how our species reproduces."
And there it might have ended. The humans seemed unconvinced, but also seemed to have no further questions. But just at that moment, First Aid burst in waving a datapad.
"It's confirmed! You've sparked, Prowl! You're carrying a sparkling!"
Prowl froze. Someone choked. Several someones made a quick exit. Optimus put his hand across his optics in dismay.
Carly crossed her arms, glaring.
"So explain that." she demanded.
Jazz hesitated a second, then raised his hands up in exultation.
"It's a miracle of Primus!"
Well, it was worth a try.
A/N: just a bit of fun, here. Done as a request for Bluebird_Soaring (from FF.net) with the prompt "realisation" or "moment of truth".
Summary: The truth will always come out, one way or another.
The awkward silence stretched out as the humans considered the hastily put together and rather unconvincing explanation. The guilty pair carefully did not look at anyone. The rest of the crew watched, rapt, wondering if this was really going to work.
The Autobots had realised as soon as they became aware of the humans and their non-sentient technologies that the concept of intimacy between machines would be difficult for the organics to comprehend. For that reason, measures had been taken to stop the natives from entering private quarters: forceshields and holographic walls and locks coded to Cybertronian access only.
Established pairings had been instructed to take particular care not to draw attention. Duty rosters were written up so they were separated more often than not so they did not appear to be spending unusual amounts of time with each other.
Outside of quarters even holding hands was frowned upon. Pairs could be as graphic as they liked across the comm lines which the humans could not track, but physical contact was to be limited to what could be explained away as friendship or combat training.
This had led to a marked increase in enthusiasm for hand to hand combat training, even amongst those who would normally not bother. Including this pair, who had had the misfortune to get a bit carried away without realising they had guests.
"So..." Carly summed up hesitantly, "you were just training."
"And then you decided to try kissing him?" Spike choked.
"Always curious about human things." Jazz shrugged, his smile faintly forced. "Besides, I was losin' an' it was worth a try."
"With Prowl?" Chip asked, pained.
"Why not? Me an' Prowl've worked t'gether for ages. An' it works pretty good as a distraction technique."
"And that's all it was?" Carly asked.
"What else would it have been?" Prowl asked innocently.
"Well you had your hands..." she began, then went bright red and cleared her throat. "Ahem. Oh, never mind. You're both male anyway, right?"
"Sparklings come from Vector Sigma," Optimus spoke up gently, "just as you saw with Silverbolt and his team. That is how our species reproduces."
And there it might have ended. The humans seemed unconvinced, but also seemed to have no further questions. But just at that moment, First Aid burst in waving a datapad.
"It's confirmed! You've sparked, Prowl! You're carrying a sparkling!"
Prowl froze. Someone choked. Several someones made a quick exit. Optimus put his hand across his optics in dismay.
Carly crossed her arms, glaring.
"So explain that." she demanded.
Jazz hesitated a second, then raised his hands up in exultation.
"It's a miracle of Primus!"
Well, it was worth a try.