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[taraljc]

In the wake of the latest sockpuppet wank, of which I am actually only peripherally aware having not been actively involved in SV fandom for years, I have come to a realisation.

Comments

[agentxpndble]

Amen.

PS, you rock. ;-)

[taraljc]

It's just I'm reaising more and more than my self-esteem issues are SO not helped by fandom, at times. And weirdly, it's the exact opposite of where I was 20 years ago, when fandom helped build up my low self-esteem and repair some of the massive damage from a very lonely childhood. Now I'm turle-ing even further into my shell and even LESS sure of myself, and it's not of the good.

[agentxpndble]

I get stuck in cycles. I always start out doing things for myself, but then people start paying attention to me and I start feeding off that and it starts snowballing until suddenly I find myself pouting because no one is paying enough attention to me and I can't keep up the pace of being the latest greatest thing since sliced bread. And I have an awfully hard time stepping back from it all and coming back to a sane, healthy place. :-(

[meghatron]

Having met you in person, I think you're rather delightful and I would be happy to hang with you online or in real life, reagardless of what you produce for the rest of time.

[taraljc]

*hugs you tight*

Speaking of IRL interaction, I am trying to figure out Gally in Feb. But if/when, I would be in your neck of the woods...

[meghatron]

I'm definitely going to be there and hopefully will have fairyglass in tow, but our husbands are working OrcCon the same weekend at the Westin down the street (hers just published his first RPG) so we'll be splitting our time. But we're staying at the Hilton, which is next door to the Marriott. :D

[taraljc]

yays! I still need to find money for my air ticket, and line up roommates... But I'll email you when I have details.

[cornfields]

Oh, man. WORD. Fandom's totally like high school as far as I'm concerned, and high school fucked me right up. *steers clear*

You don't have to go into details, but which fandom has found themselves in the midst of a Sockpuppetgate this time?

[taraljc]

Smallville.

[kerravonsen]

Low self-esteem? You? Knock me down with a feather -- it doesn't show.

[taraljc]

It pretty much manifests in a continual driving need for constant validation from others in order to feel better about myself. So even if it's not apparent from the outside, it's a giant neon sign flashing over my head from my POV. Like I said, not exactly healthy. And I can see exactly what mistakes I made. I just can't quite fix them.

[leethomps]

You've been wanking off sockpuppets? OMG

[taraljc]

wank = brouhaha

sockpuppet = a false identy created to attack others or support yourself online

sockpuppet wank = wank that ensues when a sock is discovered to be a sock and not a real human being

[leethomps]

This is why I avoid fandom, I don't even understand the lingo lol