Secondary Effects of the Earthquake

[tapati]

On the evening of the Loma Prieta Quake in 1989, one of the concerns everyone had was to contact family and friends and let them know we were OK. We got in touch with my mom and grandma so they could pass on the news to our other relatives. I connected with some friends. Of course everyone was trying to do the same so the lines were often busy

Comments

[mariadkins]

:standing ovation:

[tapati]

Thank you!

[wlotus]

I am grateful for people like you and other friends of mine who speak boldly and without apology about these things. So often people want to sugarcoat these things, in order to try to keep the peace or otherwise not make the person who abandoned their family look bad. But it is important to let people know the effects of abandonment; perhaps it will make someone else think twice and change their mind about making the same choice.

[tapati]

That's why I do it.

I grew up in the 60s and 70s, and my family definitely suffered from that 1950s style syndrome where everything bad was swept under the rug and no one referred to it. Besides the feeling of unreality that produced, it was maddening to have suffered and not even be able to name it.

I think the only way future fathers who are inclined by their own childhoods to evade, escape, stuff their feelings, and so on, will only snap out of it when they realize the long term damage they will do. I wonder if perhaps some of them think their kids are better off without them. Well, yeah, if you're going to hit your kids or shoot up heroin in front of them or something. Otherwise, at least from a distance, it is good to let your kids know you CARE. Even a junkie can do that.