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[tanksthetic]

So it was that...one guy's birthday yesterday, yeah? I don't know him--

[And he never will, ironically.]

--but it got me thinking. There are a lot of people on this ship, and going back months and months on the...network? I'm going to assume that's the right word. Even going back months and months on the network, there isn't much about

Comments

[heavyweaponsbot]

... I have never understood the purpose of igniting fuel to celebrate being online.

[tanksthetic]

Candles aren't fuel. They were originally made as a controllable light source.

For birthdays you light them up and, if you're into that, you make a wish and try to blow them all out. If you can, then supposedly your wish comes true, but that's really just kid stuff.

[heavyweaponsbot]

... Not those. The... thing you put them in. On. Hmnf.

Your traditions make little sense. How could fire grant... wishes?

[tanksthetic]

...Cake? That's--an interesting word for it.

[Cake is fuel. It makes sense, sort of, but the term is still a little weird. "Fuel" still makes him think of gasoline.]

I don't know, it's an old tradition. It's been around longer than anyone I know back home has been alive.

[diverged_fate]

Wait... what do you mean by 'Pets?'

[tanksthetic]

[He's gonna get this a lot, isn't he?]

Pets are a hybrid species genetically engineered by Persona Grata Sciences for human use and companionship. The first twelve were completed in 2033.

[diverged_fate]

[Maybe. That just hits some rather bad chords for Keats in particular.]

So ... they want to be like that? I guess... [Almost like he's arguing with himself.] I still don't see why humans need that.

[tanksthetic]

Most Pets don't know any better--we're pretty carefully conditioned, even before being pulled from the tubes. I've been told my saleability rating has a lot to do with being able to break away from the conditioning, but I don't really know.

As for humans...well, people always want their possessions to be better, don't they? Especially pets. The smarter the pet, the better it is, the more they can show it off. We were designed to raise the bar on what constitutes an intelligent pet.

[Pause.]

To be fair, I was designed to assist the disabled, but it didn't work out.

[defiant_rage]

My homeworld operated on an entirely different timecycle than that of the human planets. Trying to calculate when my "birthday" was would be no simple task here.

[tanksthetic]

Well...we should pick you one, then. Do you know what the date was when you got here?

[defiant_rage]

In human time measurment, it would fall upon August 23rd.

[tanksthetic]

...That's funny, that's exactly four months after my birthday. Huh.

How do you celebrate birthdays where you're from, Arbiter? We can do something on August 23rd, if we're all still here.

[Which he hopes they aren't but from what he's heard who KNOWS.]

[screwyoubob]

[Live births are absolutely revolting, but B just switches all the "birth" things in his head to 'decantation'.]

I was decanted on what would be March 21st on your calandar!

[tanksthetic]

Decant...

[Doesn't that have to do with pouring things? Like a decanter?]

Uhm. Okay. How do you celebrate that where you're from?

[throwslikedavid]

That's what me and Mimmi did on our birthdays. Made cupcakes, I mean, since mine was the day after hers.

[tanksthetic]

Cool! I'm kind of glad I wasn't the first one to think about this.