Hiddlestoned
My Tom Hiddleston affliction continues unabated. If anything, it's worse than ever. I now have exactly 594 photos of the man in a file on my computer. Whoever does that 'delete my browser history when I die' can you also please take care of this folder for me? And by 'take care of', I mean, of course, bury me with glossy 8x10 copies and then
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Comments 16
I could listen to him read a grocery list, and I'm compelled to see everything he's been in -- including films I probably would despise otherwise (Yeah, I'm eyeballing you, The Deep Blue Sea).
I also have a file folder of Tom on my computer. I have no idea how many photos I have of him, but it grows nearly every day.
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Yes, in War Horse Spielberg told Tom that he didn't want the usual fear. He told him to de-age himself twenty years as he realized that he wasn't going to survive. I wept so, so hard during that scene. I had to pause the movie because I couldn't recover. I don't think anyone could have pulled it off as well as Tom did.
Midnight in Paris is cute. It does not have nearly enough Tom Hiddleston in it. Not nearly enough. I'd almost say that you could probably find someone who uploaded the video of just his performance on youtube and save yourself the trouble, lol. But if you do watch the whole movie, know that it is not as "meh" as The Deep Blue Sea ( ... )
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http://vimeo.com/41505642
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Love the top review on Amazon:
Tom Hiddleston did record this book, but it can only be found in the UK!!! Sadly, in my excitement of learning he did the audio book, and seeing his face and sound sample on this page on amazon, I didn't bother to notice this version is NOT read by Tom. My heart sank when I realized this as I put the first chapter on. Too late. Anyway, I have no interest in the book itself. I just wanted it for Tom. I would listen to 8 CDs of him reading me a phone directory. And since I know I am not alone in that, other fans HAVE and will make this mistake. Do not buy this unless you want to actually hear the book read to you and don't care who by. I do not know if its a good story or not. This review is not a commentary on the book - its a commentary on the AUDIObook. If you want Tom Hiddleston to read to you, you must get the UK version. And ( ... )
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Ouch. Way to be tactful, fangirl. O_o
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Hoggle stared glumly at the carrot in his hand. It wasn't that he had anything against root vegetables. He quite liked them, in fact: boiled and mashed with plenty of salt and butter, roasted in duck fat with cloves of garlic and a sprinkling of rosemary, simmered in a stew with onions and tomatoes. Vegetables were a fine addition to the table and as a bonus they kept you regular. That was something Hoggle could appreciate. It was just that... well... this carrot wasn't merely a root vegetable.
"Art thou ready?"
Sir Didymus sat primly on the lawn in the back garden of the cottage, a rather large tome propped up before him. It was a specially commissioned book, researched and painstakingly handwritten, meticulously illustrated and leather-bound. On the cover in flowery gold lettering, it read:
The Joye of SexxeHoggle sighed and held up his carrot. "Best to get on with it, I guess ( ... )
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Hoggle closed his eyes and gingerly bounced two ripe apricots up and down on the palm of his other hand. They were warm and yielding, the fuzzy skin taut and near-bursting with juice. Next month, she'll remember, he assured himself, willing it to be true. Next month for sure.
Hoggle pumped, jiggled, stroked, fondled, squeezed and even manhandled for what felt like an eternity before giving in to a vicious hand cramp and fumbling the two apricots. They dropped to the ground with an ominous splat, and Sir Didymus tutted reprovingly.
"A regrettable lapse in form, my friend. But nay, we shall not dwell upon it, what's done is done. But hold, excellent news! I believe thou hast beaten thy best time yet." The little knight held up a stopwatch in triumph. "Forty-two minutes, by my reckoning! His Majesty will be pleased."
Sarah had once observed that Didymus was constitutionally incapable of innuendo, but on occasions like this, Hoggle wasn't quite so sure.
"Could we take a break now? I could use a... a cup of tea." A bottle of whiskey, ( ... )
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Probably still in too pissy of a mood to post the prompt tonight as I am in full on 'I DON'T GIVE A FUCK' mode, but maybe tomorrow...
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In the meantime, enjoy the whole lewd-acts-with-root-vegetables routine that is quickly becoming my greatest strength as a writer!
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