A rain of Buggers! Syrians grazed on their roses!
Hey U, fellow spoonfed talkingpoint-regurgitating TV-zombies curious, reasonable folks! Check this out, yo.
So Britain prepared itself for the oncoming stampede of job-seeking immigrants.
And when the day finally came, Twitter reacted the only way it knew how: by taking the piss.
The Brits have an awesomER sense of humor than ourselves, huh!? "Scores of Bulgars and Romanians are landing in our backyard, disguised as rain-drops. Run for your lives!" That's what one Elwin Mail tweeted a while ago. Another witty UKanian remarked, "I heard some noise outside. I thought it was the darned Buggers and Romanians. Turned out someone was dragging the garbage container. Duh!" And how about this: "The bus station is crammed with Bulgars & Romanians! Run to your homes! Lock the doors! Keep your daughters indoors!" Another one said, "Right from day one of the year, my flat was literally flooded with Bulgarians and Romanians demanding social aid. Please advise?" A pic of an emptied room lay displayed below that horrific statement. "I ain't scared of Romanians & Bulgarians, I'm rather scared of those guys up there in Glesga" (they mean Glasgow, obviously). They sure know why.
That's right, folks. That's how some Britons are reacting to the hysterical threats of their leaders that opening up the EUnian borders to Romanian and Bulgarian workers (Jan 1, 2014) would result in a mass invasion of dirty unwashed aliens with unpronounceable names who talk funny into the precious UKania.
Did it happ'n? Guess what? T'was all a lie. Dust in the air. One big stinking story. Just as everyone here knew well in advance. But don't let that get in the way of a perfectly sensationalist narrative! If it could buy some votes.
They didn't even get their shit straight.
Note the fucked up geography out there. Anything else you need to know?
Reminds me of the way people over here in historical Kazanlak, Central Bulgaria, recently reacted to the authorities' intention to build a shelter for the Syrian refugees there. "Hey, this is the Valley of Roses, our trademark landmark, our national treasure! This isn't a place for Syrians! Putting Arabs among our precious roses is unthinkable!" Etc, etc. I wish someone had the guts to ask those morons what the name of our "trademark" rose is - yeah, that one which has brought the fame and prosperity of that valley in the heart of the country. Tell you what: it's "Rosa Damascena". The Rose from Damascus. Ya know? DAMASCUS. The capital of Syria. The smelly flower was brought from there in the 16th century. So much with your fear-induced ignorance, folks - time for some enlightenment through a ton of lulz!
The way we Bulgars don't seem to care what Syria of the 16th century was like, the Britons don't know jack shit about what it was like here in the 4th century (ya know, that time when they were still wearing furs, telling stories of pixies among themselves, and fighting off naked tattooed savages from the north). Here, if you dig a pickaxe into the dirt somewhere, anywhere, you'd instantly clank against a gold mask of a Thracian king. Up there in the foggy Albion, you'd come across the occasional iron Viking speahead most likely.
The way it looks, the world is now standing at a crossroads. The whole universe now has just two options, folks! One: let our people live and work wherever they want, and in return, bring those Brits over here to bake their pinky asses at our seaside, and check out our Thracian gold in the museums if they so much desire to get enlightened. And two: Britain keeps using Bulgarians and Romanians as scarecrows to frighten their subjects; while we keep scaring our populace with Syrians. In turn, Sofia keeps scaring itself of "provincialists" (yep, that's a thing here; and the city-vs-village dichotomy has long been a major divisive line in BG, among many others). The villagers will be scared of Gypsies, the Gypsies of fanatical wannabe-nationalists, the nationalists of evil America, America of evil Russia, Russia of evil Islamists, and Islamists would be scared of nothing - because whatever shit happens, 72 virgins would still await them up there in Heaven, just bathed in rivers of honey and wine. (A caveat: their sex remains undisclosed just yet - but don't tell 'em that).
The world's big fear of the alien is built from countless little tiny fears like these.
It's no coincidence that the turning of the new year was marked by both the fear of aliens, and the mocking over that fear. The world has been swinging between these two states for a while: opening and shutting itself to the new and the unknown, accepting and rejecting the alien, swinging back and forth, understating and overstating the dangers, always standing at a crossroads, stuck in a constant overall state of impasse.
For some, the world has reverted to the time when their side/country/group was the greatest power of them all. For others, it has speeded up way too much away from that point, and they feel as if they're hanging over the precipice, but they still want to pretend that they're in control, that they've got the upper hand and the high ground.
Such a chaos can't be sorted through arguments of the past. Otherwise it'll all forever remain at the stage where IRA/UK peace negotiations were at some point, where someone said, "Yeah, it's all fine and nice, but do you remember what you did back in the 13th century?", only to return to Square One yet again. Such a chaos of fear and ignorance, where people are easily swayed one way or another with just a few mere rumors and untruths repeated a hundred times, can only be sorted through open talks. And through looking forward, rather than constantly citing the past as an excuse.
I know, it all sounds too abstract. But it's true. Until people realize that they're being manipulated too easily, we won't be having nice things.
So Britain prepared itself for the oncoming stampede of job-seeking immigrants.
And when the day finally came, Twitter reacted the only way it knew how: by taking the piss.
The Brits have an awesomER sense of humor than ourselves, huh!? "Scores of Bulgars and Romanians are landing in our backyard, disguised as rain-drops. Run for your lives!" That's what one Elwin Mail tweeted a while ago. Another witty UKanian remarked, "I heard some noise outside. I thought it was the darned Buggers and Romanians. Turned out someone was dragging the garbage container. Duh!" And how about this: "The bus station is crammed with Bulgars & Romanians! Run to your homes! Lock the doors! Keep your daughters indoors!" Another one said, "Right from day one of the year, my flat was literally flooded with Bulgarians and Romanians demanding social aid. Please advise?" A pic of an emptied room lay displayed below that horrific statement. "I ain't scared of Romanians & Bulgarians, I'm rather scared of those guys up there in Glesga" (they mean Glasgow, obviously). They sure know why.
That's right, folks. That's how some Britons are reacting to the hysterical threats of their leaders that opening up the EUnian borders to Romanian and Bulgarian workers (Jan 1, 2014) would result in a mass invasion of dirty unwashed aliens with unpronounceable names who talk funny into the precious UKania.
Did it happ'n? Guess what? T'was all a lie. Dust in the air. One big stinking story. Just as everyone here knew well in advance. But don't let that get in the way of a perfectly sensationalist narrative! If it could buy some votes.
They didn't even get their shit straight.
Note the fucked up geography out there. Anything else you need to know?
Reminds me of the way people over here in historical Kazanlak, Central Bulgaria, recently reacted to the authorities' intention to build a shelter for the Syrian refugees there. "Hey, this is the Valley of Roses, our trademark landmark, our national treasure! This isn't a place for Syrians! Putting Arabs among our precious roses is unthinkable!" Etc, etc. I wish someone had the guts to ask those morons what the name of our "trademark" rose is - yeah, that one which has brought the fame and prosperity of that valley in the heart of the country. Tell you what: it's "Rosa Damascena". The Rose from Damascus. Ya know? DAMASCUS. The capital of Syria. The smelly flower was brought from there in the 16th century. So much with your fear-induced ignorance, folks - time for some enlightenment through a ton of lulz!
The way we Bulgars don't seem to care what Syria of the 16th century was like, the Britons don't know jack shit about what it was like here in the 4th century (ya know, that time when they were still wearing furs, telling stories of pixies among themselves, and fighting off naked tattooed savages from the north). Here, if you dig a pickaxe into the dirt somewhere, anywhere, you'd instantly clank against a gold mask of a Thracian king. Up there in the foggy Albion, you'd come across the occasional iron Viking speahead most likely.
The way it looks, the world is now standing at a crossroads. The whole universe now has just two options, folks! One: let our people live and work wherever they want, and in return, bring those Brits over here to bake their pinky asses at our seaside, and check out our Thracian gold in the museums if they so much desire to get enlightened. And two: Britain keeps using Bulgarians and Romanians as scarecrows to frighten their subjects; while we keep scaring our populace with Syrians. In turn, Sofia keeps scaring itself of "provincialists" (yep, that's a thing here; and the city-vs-village dichotomy has long been a major divisive line in BG, among many others). The villagers will be scared of Gypsies, the Gypsies of fanatical wannabe-nationalists, the nationalists of evil America, America of evil Russia, Russia of evil Islamists, and Islamists would be scared of nothing - because whatever shit happens, 72 virgins would still await them up there in Heaven, just bathed in rivers of honey and wine. (A caveat: their sex remains undisclosed just yet - but don't tell 'em that).
The world's big fear of the alien is built from countless little tiny fears like these.
It's no coincidence that the turning of the new year was marked by both the fear of aliens, and the mocking over that fear. The world has been swinging between these two states for a while: opening and shutting itself to the new and the unknown, accepting and rejecting the alien, swinging back and forth, understating and overstating the dangers, always standing at a crossroads, stuck in a constant overall state of impasse.
For some, the world has reverted to the time when their side/country/group was the greatest power of them all. For others, it has speeded up way too much away from that point, and they feel as if they're hanging over the precipice, but they still want to pretend that they're in control, that they've got the upper hand and the high ground.
Such a chaos can't be sorted through arguments of the past. Otherwise it'll all forever remain at the stage where IRA/UK peace negotiations were at some point, where someone said, "Yeah, it's all fine and nice, but do you remember what you did back in the 13th century?", only to return to Square One yet again. Such a chaos of fear and ignorance, where people are easily swayed one way or another with just a few mere rumors and untruths repeated a hundred times, can only be sorted through open talks. And through looking forward, rather than constantly citing the past as an excuse.
I know, it all sounds too abstract. But it's true. Until people realize that they're being manipulated too easily, we won't be having nice things.