sunday_reveries 8.16-22 - "Are you insane?"

[take_mychances]

Also serves as an RP thread for arkhams_dr, questionorigin and a_carrion_crow.

Why am I doing this again? Dalia had been asking herself the question all day. Now it was finally time for her to leave work and head over to Crane House for dinner with Duela and Jonathan (and presumably Joshua, who never missed out on an opportunity to condescend to her) and she was still questioning

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[take_mychances]

While Jonathan got his tea, Dalia made her way to where she remembered his study was located. She turned on a lamp, though that didn't do much for the shadowy room and sat down in the high-backed chair across from the desk.

[arkhams_dr]

"Don't thank me. It's merely the truth."

[questionorigin]

Duela was just about at the kitchen when she saw the door open. She stopped in the hall, turning to look at the two. She tried to meet Dalia's eyes, wondering if she should pull her sister aside for a few moments herself. Even if she didn't want to talk further... just to... Well, to give her a little time to herself.

[arkhams_dr]

"Ah, there you are," Crane smiled at Duela. "I think we're quite finished with the serious part of our conversation."

[take_mychances]

Dalia managed a small half-smile at her sister, thought it didn't reach her eyes.

[questionorigin]

Duela nodded slightly. She smiled just a bit, approaching the two. "Jonathan, do you think you could get the dessert plates for me?" she asked, though her eyes remained on her sister.

[arkhams_dr]

"Of course." He looked from one to the other, adding, "I think I'll go to the cellar and get some of my port, as well."

With that, he disappeared into the kitchen.

[questionorigin]

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you."

Duela looked at Dalia and her smile faded a little once Jonathan had gone. She gestured to the sitting room she'd initially shown her sister to. "Shall we have a seat and wait for him?"

[take_mychances]

"I should probably go soon," Dalia said quietly, though she obliged and sat.

[questionorigin]

Duela nodded, waiting for her to sit. She took a seat, not too close or too far away. After a few moments, she murmured, very quietly, "You okay?"

[take_mychances]

"They didn't do it to you on purpose," Dalia finally said, her voice angry. "They'd give their whole lives--even take back me being here--for you--and you don't care, Uncle Jonathan doesn't care, Joshua despises them. You're all so smug about what you think they are. I'm the one who's lived with them for over 20 years--you all think I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I do." She shook her head.

[questionorigin]

Duela listened, let it be said. How many times had Jonathan had to listen to her rant or cry? She owed Dalia the same. When she finished, Duela sighed.

"I know they didn't." She paused, looking right at her sister. "I know they did their best. They've always done their best. But sometimes..." Sometimes what? Duela closed her eyes. "Sometimes people go their own way. Sometimes you can't change things, even if you really want to or they weren't your fault. I-- You won't believe me when I say it, but I do love them. We just... don't live in the same world anymore. We haven't for... a long time."

[take_mychances]

"It was easier...when I was little," Dalia said, her voice quiet again. "Even after I found Mom's box...I could just believe their versions of things...accept what they believed. It made sense." She blinked back tears. "Now nothing makes sense. I hate it...they'd hate if they knew why I came tonight. I'm still kicking myself...because...even if I might never be 'close' to Uncle Jonathan or see eye-to-eye with him on most things..." Dalia didn't manage to hold back the tears any longer. "...at least he answered my questions with what he really believes to be the truth...even...if it's not--he believes it. He didn't lie or sugarcoat anything. And I shouldn't feel like I'm betraying them just by listening to his version, even if I don't fully accept it, but it still feels that way."

[questionorigin]

Duela reached out, not actually touching her sister, but offering a hug if Dalia wanted it. "Mom and Dad... see things different than anybody else would," she explained. "They're different now than they used to be. Mom... Mom always lived in her own little world. Safe and snug with what she'd convinced herself but with... something always lurking." Something. Why was she avoiding naming it? Duela didn't even know why she couldn't bring herself to just say it. "Dad saw things a little clearer. He used to get so mad at her, try and... try and knock some sense into her. I-- It sounds terrible to say, but I really think that sometimes-- sometimes he thought that if he slapped her hard enough, she'd wake up." Duela paused, fighting tears. "You're smart to want all the versions. Even if you know you have to disregard at least some of what everyone says... it makes the picture a little clearer. Even if the picture isn't something pleasant to look at."

[take_mychances]

Dalia hugged her older sister as she spoke, listening, tears still falling. Duela had told her similar things before. It didn't make it easier to hear. "Sometimes, when I was little, I'd daydream. I'd wish you were my age, or closer to my age, so that we could be, you know, more like sisters than we were--so there'd be more than just me at the dinner table with them." She glanced over at Duela. "I've always been mostly in their world, Duela...It's...where I belong, I guess...but...I don't want me and you...to be like you are with them."

[questionorigin]

Duela hugged Dalia close, rubbing her back a little. "You've got your own world. Not quite theirs, definitely not mine. But things... don't have to be like that." She sighed. "I know Dad resents me sometimes for the choices I made, but... I was alone for ten years, with only Jonathan to look out for me. And he's... I know you won't want to hear this, but he's good for me. I can't-- I can't provoke him into a fight. I've tried. He'll let me scream and shout at him until I'm hoarse, but he never raises his voice back. He just... lets me get it out. He didn't even flinch the time I raised my hand to him." She bit her lip. "I love Mom and Dad, but I had to take care of myself too. I... needed someone, especially someone who really did put me first. I know they won't ever forgive me for that, and I don't expect you to... like it, but Jonathan..." She was aware of how like her mother she sounded with her next statement, and that made it difficult to get out. "I need him."