[Emmett has made a sweet tent fort in the woods after a week or so living on his own. Yes, he's pissed off. He's very pissed off that his wife of over SIXTY years left him for a smelly dog boy.

He's sitting down his back to the journal and he's whittling because.... Well, he doesn't have a XBOX, okay?]

[Someone is still moping because his beloved sister is gone. He knows it's for the best but he's still mopey. So right now he's just sitting on the front porch of their house and sighing]

This doesn't help my boredom.

I'm craving bear. Edward, let's hunt.

[looks a little grumpy]

I don't care if they talk. I'm tired of boring food.

[Yes, Emmett is sitting cross legged while holding a trembling bunny rabbit. And yes he is having a conversation with a bunny.]

Hey. I'm not going to eat you.  I swear dude! I switched to that disgusting stuff my wife drinks.

[You can't really hear the bunny because he's speaking so fast and so quietly, but Emmett can hear him and is laughing]

( Read more... )

[Emmett is back to his normal strength again, looking happier too. (Probably because he got laid) And he's out prancing around although he calls it 'wandering']

I'm bored. I miss my Xbox.

[See Emmett. See an weak, swaying, barely dressed Emmett bracing himself on a large tree. He's had a snack, a bunny, but he's still very weak]

I got away from those assholes. [More like they set him free] Knocked them all out and ran.  [Note that he can barely stand at the moment, so he's totally lying.]

How long have I been gone? [slips down to ( Read more... )

Bells. You and me need to do some brother/sister bonding.

You know you wanna.

Jasper! OH JASPER. I'm officially challenging you to a bushel race. What's a bushel race, you may ask? It's where we race to see who can eat the most apples before totally gagging.

So bro? Are you down or what?

[Emmett looks absolutely murderous as he looks into the journal, he's been out searching the woods all night]

Whoever the fuck took Rosalie better let her go... I will find you. And I will
rip you apart.

( Private to Alice and Jasper and Edward and Bella )

[Wow, so here's Emmett, looking like a moron because he's spent the last twenty minutes trying to scratch his back.]

Babe!

Where are you? My wings itch like crazy.