Dark Secrets: Intro and Chapter 1
Ron gets a raw deal in fanfic. Harry and Draco between them have shagged the entire cast several times over and over 9000 Mary Sues to boot, whereas Ron is lucky if he manages to get paired with his canon love interest. But it's worse than that. With Draco running around being all sparkly bishounen anti-hero like the Potterverse's answer to Edward Cullen*, we need an antagonist. And who gets that role? Poor Ron, of course.
(* There are rumours that Stephenie Meyer was a Potterfan in the old days and Edward was inspired by the portrayal of Draco in the godawful Draco Trilogy, which would explain a great deal.)
In "Dark Secrets" by Jaiden Lee Malfoy, "Ron the Death Eater" is literally the case. (The fic has a TVTropes page if you don't fancy wading through it in full and just want a summary, and I can't say I blame you if this is the case.) About the only good thing I can say about it is that the author can actually write. Unfortunately, she can't write well enough to redeem the plot. (ETA: I honestly must have misremembered this fic from when I reviewed it on WGW last year.)
The first chapter introduces our OFC lead, Jaiden Lee Malfoy Spencer. She's the head girl, best witch in the school** and also best of friends with the main trio. For some reason, Hermione has no problem at all with the fact that she's involved with Ron. Of course, nobody yet knows he's a Death Eater. This is in fact one of the titular Dark Secrets.
(** You'll have to take the writer's word for this, since we hardly ever see her using magic. More on that later.)
She's not a Mary Sue at all, honest.
As a final note before we begin the sporking, the only positive review of this fic on the Uber-Pit is by the legendary trollfic writer ComicsNix. Lulz.
The fic begins with her skulking around the school grounds at night for no readily discernible reason. In canon, the trio always have some reason for their night-time wanderings even if it's just "let's duff up Malfoy LOLOLOL". She pauses to meditate on her appearance in a way that's totally unlike a Mary Sue and how dare anyone suggest otherwise.
Keeping her 5’2” frame to the shadows she inched closer. The voices became clearer, her sapphire blue eyes already accustomed to the darkness, could just make out three figures standing in the center of the patch of trees.
Now if you weren't sure why Jaiden was skulking around, god only knows what Voldemort was doing there and how he'd managed to get onto the Hogwarts campus without being noticed. He only managed it in Philosopher's Stone because nobody knew he was still around. (Dark Secrets was written before Deathly Hallows and the idea of Voldemort taking over Hogwarts itself in 1997-98.) Yes, he was one of the three mysterious figures.
“ As I was saying you were over heard by me faithful servant
This is probably a typo, but I can't help imagining Voldemort talking with a Mancunian accent here.
The other two? Ron, of course, and Dean Thomas. Fuck knows why, and it doesn't matter after this chapter because Voldemort AK's him and somehow nobody back at the school notices he's even gone missing.
Anyway, Ron catches her because she was too much of a prat to borrow Harry's invisibility cloak.
“ Never trust guys you don’t know very well, ” Ron said maliciously.
She doesn't know him that well. She's only been servicing his wand for however long they've supposed to have been going out. Now Jaiden is brought before Voldemort and he doesn't kill her for spying on him. Any suggestions that this might be because she's a Mary Sue are beneath contempt.
“ That won’t be necessary, I’ll deal with that, ” Voldemort replied, “ I want you to take her back to the castle, do anything you have to, to keep her from talking, ”
“ This’ll be fun, right sweetie, ” Ron said with malice.
And so it begins. Note that the author seems to think that dialogue always ends with a comma, not only when it leads onto a "said" statement,
(Do you suppose Ron is being malicious in this scene, by any chance?)
Continued...
(* There are rumours that Stephenie Meyer was a Potterfan in the old days and Edward was inspired by the portrayal of Draco in the godawful Draco Trilogy, which would explain a great deal.)
In "Dark Secrets" by Jaiden Lee Malfoy, "Ron the Death Eater" is literally the case. (The fic has a TVTropes page if you don't fancy wading through it in full and just want a summary, and I can't say I blame you if this is the case.) About the only good thing I can say about it is that the author can actually write. Unfortunately, she can't write well enough to redeem the plot. (ETA: I honestly must have misremembered this fic from when I reviewed it on WGW last year.)
The first chapter introduces our OFC lead, Jaiden Lee Malfoy Spencer. She's the head girl, best witch in the school** and also best of friends with the main trio. For some reason, Hermione has no problem at all with the fact that she's involved with Ron. Of course, nobody yet knows he's a Death Eater. This is in fact one of the titular Dark Secrets.
(** You'll have to take the writer's word for this, since we hardly ever see her using magic. More on that later.)
She's not a Mary Sue at all, honest.
As a final note before we begin the sporking, the only positive review of this fic on the Uber-Pit is by the legendary trollfic writer ComicsNix. Lulz.
The fic begins with her skulking around the school grounds at night for no readily discernible reason. In canon, the trio always have some reason for their night-time wanderings even if it's just "let's duff up Malfoy LOLOLOL". She pauses to meditate on her appearance in a way that's totally unlike a Mary Sue and how dare anyone suggest otherwise.
Keeping her 5’2” frame to the shadows she inched closer. The voices became clearer, her sapphire blue eyes already accustomed to the darkness, could just make out three figures standing in the center of the patch of trees.
Now if you weren't sure why Jaiden was skulking around, god only knows what Voldemort was doing there and how he'd managed to get onto the Hogwarts campus without being noticed. He only managed it in Philosopher's Stone because nobody knew he was still around. (Dark Secrets was written before Deathly Hallows and the idea of Voldemort taking over Hogwarts itself in 1997-98.) Yes, he was one of the three mysterious figures.
“ As I was saying you were over heard by me faithful servant
This is probably a typo, but I can't help imagining Voldemort talking with a Mancunian accent here.
The other two? Ron, of course, and Dean Thomas. Fuck knows why, and it doesn't matter after this chapter because Voldemort AK's him and somehow nobody back at the school notices he's even gone missing.
Anyway, Ron catches her because she was too much of a prat to borrow Harry's invisibility cloak.
“ Never trust guys you don’t know very well, ” Ron said maliciously.
She doesn't know him that well. She's only been servicing his wand for however long they've supposed to have been going out. Now Jaiden is brought before Voldemort and he doesn't kill her for spying on him. Any suggestions that this might be because she's a Mary Sue are beneath contempt.
“ That won’t be necessary, I’ll deal with that, ” Voldemort replied, “ I want you to take her back to the castle, do anything you have to, to keep her from talking, ”
“ This’ll be fun, right sweetie, ” Ron said with malice.
And so it begins. Note that the author seems to think that dialogue always ends with a comma, not only when it leads onto a "said" statement,
(Do you suppose Ron is being malicious in this scene, by any chance?)
Continued...