Comments | szaleniec1000: Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 12

szaleniec1000

Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 12

Jun 27, 2015 17:51

Contrived coincidences, improbable costumes and offensive stereotypes. It's been a while, but welcome back to Hogwarts Exposed.

( Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 12 )

show don't tell, percy is evil, the pansexual '50s, did not do the bloody research, moustache twirling, pin the semicolon on the monologue, pov!fail, welsh railway, are you a witch or not, literal butthurt, priorities be damned, message from fred, anatomy fail, americanisms in the potterverse, retcon yay, have i mentioned i hate this fic, hermione in name only, breast fixation, anticlimax, separated by a common language, wrong word dammit, bad sex, a description would be nice, salazar is evil, badfic:hogwarts overexposed, department of redundancy department, too much information, hypocrisy, completely nonsexual, yay stereotyping, anvil of foreshadowing, read pou instead, sexism, pointless wittering, you call that pacing, nudity for everyone, disembodied dialogue, harry potter, dialogue is not narration, said bookism, idiot balls for everyone, continuity isn't optional, singularity of fail, snape is ooc, approved hogwarts exposed dialogue voice

Comments 32

warlock_female June 27 2015, 17:53:46 UTC

I just can't even wrap my head around this entire chapter. Apparently super glue charms don't exist? Hell they could always wear the uniform and then place a charm over it, I'm sure that wouldn't be breaking the rules (or it somehow would because gay people are ALL about the exposing of kids right?)

Edit: The fact that everyone is walking around like a female Mortal Kombat character is giving me a few laughs, though I doubt it's what was intended. FINISH HIM

szaleniec1000 June 27 2015, 18:34:10 UTC

The author justified it on Yahoo by saying that the ball dresses were made of special and highly expensive magical material, which allowed them to be charmed so that their wearers didn't flash anyone. Except that in the Potterverse, things don't need to be made of unobtainium to be charmed. Arthur's Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office would be a lot less busy if they did.

undying_embers June 29 2015, 23:47:42 UTC

Wait, weren't those costumes supposed to be designed by the "House of Gayee"? And wasn't it established to be a very high end Parisian brand on par with Hermes? Does Neil seriously want us to believe that such a high end brand would be in the business of designing cheap school uniforms?

szaleniec1000 June 30 2015, 01:30:48 UTC

And if anything, you'd think a product of the (sigh) "House of Gayee" would be more likely to be made of the most amazing magical materials money could buy than something they just bought in Hogsmeade. But why would he spend all that money on the best Parisian designers for an outfit that's supposed to fall off or disintegrate if you try doing anything wearing it, especially considering he's supposed to be motivated by profit?

danel4d June 27 2015, 19:12:23 UTC

Ah nope nope nope nope nope nope.

Unlike you, I have seen Planet of the Spiders many a time (the chase scene is truly a thing of wonder) so I have no excuse. Imagining Minister Wrong as a giant spider would have significantly improved my appreciation of previous chapters, so I have only hurt myself in this.

It has however inspired me.

a third person that appeared to be neither a man nor a woman.

This simply isn't the intuitive way to describe someone of ambiguous gender, even for a utter shit like the author. And so, to cope, I have decided to interpret it as meaning that the character is in fact a primitive robot - a machine programmed only for ratings, and with little to no comprehension of primitive hu-man notions of such things as appropriate clothing or adolescence. "Why do they treat the smaller hu-mans differently?" It thinks. "This is illogical."

Somehow she had to tell him that she didn’t think she was cut out to be an Auror.There's no real tension here - it's not that she's not sure being an Auror is for her, it's bog- ( ... )

greener221 June 27 2015, 20:19:49 UTC

"Are they all dressed to look like Superman and Wonder Woman for Halloween?"

Holy crap, a WTF moment from Neil WITHOUT being immediately fetishistic.

danel4d June 27 2015, 21:38:47 UTC

It's not one that really helps, though - he compares them to two distinct and very different costumes, so it's not like we get any sort of picture of what the costumes actually look like.

szaleniec1000 June 28 2015, 01:33:06 UTC

For as much as most of the descriptions in this fic are incredibly bland and unevocative, if anything it'd be worse if they weren't.

greener221 June 27 2015, 20:21:09 UTC

"We've gone from ITWATN, whose author abuses commas, to Hogwarts Exposed, whose author abuses semicolons."

They commit crimes.

mancalledtrue June 28 2015, 03:36:04 UTC

As an American who's familiar with the work of Richard Simmons, I can say clearly that this is a massive, massive insult to the real man. And I don't even like that guy.

Also: how many times can you use the word "naked" in a single chapter? I need a GIF of a very bored man clicking a counter.

szaleniec1000 June 28 2015, 13:09:09 UTC

I figured that it probably would be. Unless the guy was your equivalent of Jimmy Savile, it would pretty much have to be.

According to Firefox, there are 13 instances of "naked" in that chapter. If I get very bored, I might try totalling the instances across the entire HE saga.