Comments | szaleniec1000: Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 18

szaleniec1000

Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 18

Apr 10, 2013 00:36

You're probably thinking right now that there's no way Hogwarts Exposed can get any worse. You would, of course, be wrong.

( Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 18 )

balance of stupidity, more like laughably, the mirror of ytidun, the pansexual '50s, agony of the stick, expospeak, pov!fail, reading the books is a good idea, the worst birthday, facepalming in frustration, americanisms in the potterverse, retcon yay, have i mentioned i hate this fic, madam malkin's mugglewear, ineffectual villainy, breast fixation, get on t'internet, anticlimax, please recycle where facilities exist, department of redundancy department, too much information, anvil of foreshadowing, i can has characterisation, statute schmatute, sexism, little miss impertinence, godwin, mione my arse, nudity for everyone, harry potter, badfic:hogwarts too exposed, frost resistance, exact eavesdropping, harry the pervert, continuity isn't optional, singularity of fail, snape is ooc, approved hogwarts exposed dialogue voice

Comments 84

sickbritkid2 April 10 2013, 10:19:07 UTC

The Exposed!Hogwarts Express:

Otherwise known as the "Hogsmeade Express", remember...

sickbritkid2 April 10 2013, 10:20:59 UTC

"I wasn't sure if she would be able to do it or not; that's seventh year ability, and even then we never practice with a living person."

So, wait: The "sexually abusive stepfather" subplot is resolved...offscreen...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xx6h9QJlJFY

szaleniec1000 April 10 2013, 10:23:27 UTC

Resolved offscreen then promptly forgotten in favour of the New Year's Yule Ball.

sickbritkid2 April 10 2013, 10:23:19 UTC

As soon as the train slowed to a stop, passengers began to get off. Most of the students that would be attending the Yule Ball were riding this train.

Ah, yes, the New Year's Eve Yule Ball...

Why wouldn't these students want to spend the New Year with, y'know, their family!?

szaleniec1000 April 10 2013, 10:28:54 UTC

Ah, yes, the New Year's Eve Yule Ball...

Great minds think alike. XD

Why wouldn't these students want to spend the New Year with, y'know, their family!?

Goodness only knows. The actual Yule Ball in Goblet of Fire was a big deal because it was attached to the first Triwizard Tournament in however long, whereas the annual Yule Ball of fanon doesn't have anything to make it a more attractive option than spending Christmas and New Year with your family.

sickbritkid2 April 10 2013, 10:26:34 UTC

And, you know, the weather.

Why in the living fuck would anyone, even a nudist, want to wear a skirt with NO underwear on a windy-fucking-day in the middle of fucking-December!?

Isn't that, like, the PERFECT storm for crap like Crotch Rot and other such diseases, especially when taking into account that they're ALSO clean-shaven down there!?

szaleniec1000 April 10 2013, 10:30:56 UTC

Apart from anything else, it makes the later "ZOMG I can't believe they'd lock us in a cold dungeon with no clothes, I think I'm going to die" not quite as effective as it could be. We're not thinking how terrible these people are as we should be, but rather wondering what's different this time. Is it the wrong kind of cold?

sickbritkid2 April 10 2013, 10:31:48 UTC

Because a child narrowly escaping being raped is a perfect opportunity to witter about the joys of nudity. I don't think I've hated this fic more than I do right now.

*peers over at his Jack bottle*

*notices it's down to only a fifth of whiskey*

O_x!?

This fic is giving me cirrhosis...