Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 8

[szaleniec1000]

In which plot happens. Yes, I'm as surprised as you are. As an experiment, I tried reviewing this entire chapter in a single (long) update, just to see if it's still possible. No guarantees that I'm going to do that again. The continuity errors look even worse this way.

Comments

[sickbritkid2]

And considering the size of Order of the Phoenix, that's a lot of retcon.

Just wait until Luna comes in.

[szaleniec1000]

Oh dear.

[sith_droideka]

I hope you like "Playwizard" editors.

[szaleniec1000]

Ah, so it's Luna who's been trying to pay Hermione to get her kit off. That... doesn't inspire confidence, to say the least.

[sickbritkid2]

All I can say is, good luck finding four innocents in the world of Hogwarts Exposed.

Plus, the prophecy is poorly written and the final stanza seems to have no rhyming scheme to it. The first is very clearly a limerick, but the second uses half-rhymes that even Dante would scoff at. The first four lines try an "abab" scheme, but thanks to the author blowing the half-rhymes, they BARELY fit together.

Now, I know there's the "ababcc" type of rhyming scheme, also known as a "Venus and Adonis stanza", but that stanza is an "ababc" quintain(which doesn't exist) when the only type of stanza that could POSSIBLY fit is a sexain.

So not only is that prophecy utilizing poor half-rhymes and seems to lack any type of real flow, it also uses a type of stanza that doesn't exist.

NEIL, YOU FAIL POETRY FOREVER!

[szaleniec1000]

It looks like something Nancy Stouffer could have written.

[sickbritkid2]

I never read Rah and the Muggles. I'm guessing you have?

[szaleniec1000]

Indeed I have. It's not quite as bad as Hogwarts Exposed.

[sickbritkid2]

”You don’t understand. She has a tendency to kill people who bring her upsetting news.

There's a reason why Shoot the Messenger is looked upon as a BAD trope to feature your villain with, Neil. You might as well have given Wrong a big, giant mustache to twirl for all of the depth and writing you gave her.

Edit: Ugh, this link formatting is annoying the crap outta me.

[sickbritkid2]

If given the chance I’m sure he would love to test her arousal levels with his dip stick.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNcD3ePWpsI&t=0m19s

[zelda_queen]

All it reminds me of is My Inner Life, when Jenna takes a minute out of her flowery prose-filled sex scene to talk about Link's "nut sack".

[szaleniec1000]

Deserving was very bad about that kind of abrupt tonal shift, usually involving the phrase "shot his load".

[sickbritkid2]

If you recall, her evil plot is to capture every centaur in the world.

What did Wrong want them all for, again? It's not like centaur prophecies are known for their specificity.