Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 5 part 3

[szaleniec1000]

In which Hogwarts Too Exposed finally arrives at Hogwarts.

Comments

[sickbritkid2]

That was one of the things that annoyed me about Kim's character, as well: She's meek, spineless, and a complete doormat toward Emily and the rest of these bints Neil calls "characters."

Perhaps she had inherent potential to become a strong, ambitious witch, but it was subsequently stomped out of her and destroyed by Emily. That, at least, is my personal canon with the whole issue.

The later scene where Kim is forcibly stripped by Emily is quite telling, for instance, as well as her eventually "coming around" to the nudist lifestyle. Of course, whether her coming around was more due to relentless brainwashing on the part of Emily or her own choice and rationale is the real question.

[szaleniec1000]

Step two to making Hogwarts Exposed's plot actually work (one would be junking the paedophilia, ephebophilia and naturism, of course): Kim is now an ambitious manipulator whose chronic buttmonkey status is a cover. Maybe evil, maybe not, but either way the pure Slytherin ideal. Unlike Caitlin, who gets her own way with her powers and her vast personal fortune, she's a natural talent, which explains (or at least handwaves) how she can be so good at it despite only being a kid.

Caitlin, of course, paid someone to run over Jamie's parents and make it look like an accident so she could have Jamie as a real adopted sister. Revised!Caitlin is not a nice person. Perhaps her grimdark backstory fucked her up, or perhaps the Memory Charm* they gave her backfired, or perhaps she was just bad to begin with. Maybe revised!Kim should be on the side of light - that way we've got a good manipulator and an evil manipulator and a nice inversion of the usual "Gryffindor good, Slytherin bad" dynamic. Lots of scope for conflict there

[sith_droideka]

That sounds great. And makes a surprising amount of sense. The real villain: Caitlin Garrison. The real hero? Kim Thatcher.

[sickbritkid2]

“There’s that word tradition again,” Emily said distastefully.

I must say, that's some pretty subtle foreshadowing on Neil's part, considering Emily's whole hatred of the traditions of wearing clothes.

“I’m really starting to dislike it.”

I, meanwhile, am more than willing to commit child murder against you, Emily, as I'm sure the (rational) reader is right now.

[szaleniec1000]

And there's more strawmanning, because tradition isn't close to the main reason most people wear clothes. This is why it's generally a good idea to do in the north of Scotland, where Hogwarts is, but it seems that HE characters are immune to such trivialities as hypothermia and sunburn.

[sickbritkid2]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a buttmonkey!

And she's one of the only sympathetic characters in this pile of shite, along with the OTHER buttmonkey.

I'm guessing Neil thought Ron was getting lonely as the sole buttmonkey so he gave Ron a little friend to share...

GODDAMNIT!!

[sickbritkid2]

"The beautiful witch had a stern expression on her face, but Emily knew first hand the warmth of her heart."

Indeed. Hermione is so warmhearted. What with her scathing self-superiority expressed toward Neville and Ginny, the fact that her kindness is always told to us and rarely, if ever, shown...

Please use the sickbags provided

Got any spares, mate? I think I've run out and the saccharine of this scene is causing repeat retching...

[sickbritkid2]

“Your brother is a liar,” Emily said. “We each put on a magical hat and it decides what house to sort us into.”

Why am I getting the "Disneyworld isn't REALLY magical, it's just machines and stuff" vibe from this line by Emily?