Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 4 part 5

[szaleniec1000]

And so it's finally time for Hogwarts Too Exposed to go to Hogwarts. The author commented that he'd only intended the "vacation" to last a single chapter but got carried away, and that explains a lot.

Comments

[danel4d]

I think trail was supposed to be trial, though I'm sure the mistake must have been yours rather than Neil's given that he has so many excellent betas. In context, it's to represent the quite reasonable point that being forced to wear underwear is almost - but not quite - as bad being forced to revisit the memory of being raped and left for dead

[szaleniec1000]

I think trail was supposed to be trial, though I'm sure the mistake must have been yours rather than Neil's given that he has so many excellent betas.

Heh. I thought as much, but it just seems like a complete non sequitur because Caitlin's ordeal seems to have been utterly forgotten by everyone. Herself in particular.

I think that Hermione's parents died in the grand final battle bridge drop, which I'm assuming is a Neil invention to dispose of characters he didn't want.

Now you mention this, I picture the trio defeating Voldemort by dropping a literal bridge on him. XD

Did you cut a taxi driver scene, or was it never there at all?

It was never there at all.

This leapt out at me - 'butt' seems to me to be fairly odd language for a Brit at all (at least in this context, rather than referring to cigarettes or a victim of comedy), but almost unthinkable for Hermione.

I'm not sure Hermione would even say "bum". Her calling Ron an arse in Deathly Hallows was basically her equivalent of a Precision F Strike.

The last scene is

[sickbritkid2]

So she can Apparate back, but they had to get the train down when it wasn't even supposed to be running. For some reason.

The Slytherin characterization, meanwhile, with the exception of Alex has basically been "Nyeh! *twirls mustache*".

[szaleniec1000]

Alex is a Gryffindor. Tony is the token "good" Slytherin, and his behaviour with regard to Amanda still makes me put "good" in scare quotes. But yes, every other Slytherin in HE up to and including Salazar himself is a one-dimensional moustache-twirling prick.

[sith_droideka]

Woo! Train scene!

...it's a good thing I don't drink or I would probably lose my liver from that scene alone.

[szaleniec1000]

Well, it's not the whole train scene. I wasn't expecting the chapter break to fall right before we see what's going on, but this being Hogwarts Exposed I probably should have.

[sickbritkid2]

Ah, yes, the Train Scene. Or, as I like to call it:

"How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Despise Emily Zacherly."

[sickbritkid2]

Thanks to this fanfic, and Neil's horrible attempts to come off as "British", the word "knickers" does not look like a word to me anymore...

[szaleniec1000]

He doesn't use "knickers" wrongly, but it comes across as forced in the context of all those other times he's in dire need of a Britpicker.

[danel4d]

I'd say he probably overuses it, probably in the mistaken belief that it's the only correct British term.

[szaleniec1000]

I get that impression, and the fact that he talks about the things far more than is at all reasonable in a Potterfic doesn't help.