Comments | szaleniec1000: Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 4 part 3

szaleniec1000

Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 4 part 3

Feb 11, 2012 20:24

If it's possible to write a Diagon Alley visit without intentionally or otherwise ripping off the books, I haven't seen it yet.

( And certainly not here. )

balance of stupidity, epic fail, show don't tell, the pansexual '50s, onion slicing convention, pepperjack cheese, a description would be nice, conflict be damned, department of redundancy department, expospeak, i can has characterisation, anvil of foreshadowing, pov!fail, welsh railway, hogwarts school of oratory, the worst birthday, damning with faint praise, disembodied dialogue, harry potter, badfic:hogwarts too exposed, out of order, said bookism, literally stupid, continuity isn't optional

Comments 57

sickbritkid2 February 12 2012, 09:43:39 UTC

And yet the only time she's ever used that power it was to okay her best friend going out with a guy who tried to force himself on her. How useful.

It's now apart of my canon that Jamie was molested by her father as a child, considering the fact that I've gotten strong "Rape is Love" vibes from her at times...

sickbritkid2 February 12 2012, 09:45:36 UTC

I know that Alex and I will be together the balance of our lives.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but Alex doesn't make a single damned appearance in this fic, does he?

szaleniec1000 February 12 2012, 11:52:22 UTC

He does, but I think he vanishes into thin air not long after.

sith_droideka February 12 2012, 23:45:44 UTC

He shows up. Oh yes, he does... when it's time for Jamie to give him her "gift".

szaleniec1000 February 13 2012, 00:02:03 UTC

I've not read it, but if the author's other sex scenes are anything to go by I won't want for sporking fodder when we get to it.

Thread 9

sickbritkid2 February 12 2012, 09:47:58 UTC

If my parents were living, my Dad would perform a special ceremony before Alex and I joined.

I bet the ceremony's reminiscent of the "King Richard's Kiss With Marian" scene from Men in Tights/Prince of Thieves, but far more intimate and inappropriate.

sickbritkid2 February 12 2012, 09:50:38 UTC

Translation: the author has no idea how to write a scene in Gringotts without completely ripping off Chapter Five of Philosopher's Stone, so just makes Hermione a goblin-hater so he doesn't have to.

Which is odd, considering that he'd seemed to have no qualms about ripping off the entire Diagon Alley sequence from Sorcerer's Stone up until that point, anyway.

sickbritkid2 February 12 2012, 09:52:44 UTC

This was only her second visit to Diagon Alley and truthfully last year when she came with Tonks she had been too nervous to take in the sights.

God, just how timid is Caitlin!?

Harry was nervous as all hell when he entered Diagon Alley, but he still wound up getting enraptured by the sights and sounds of the place!

szaleniec1000 February 12 2012, 14:52:14 UTC

And yet she's confident enough to give Hermione lip in this scene, when that would better suit Emily. It comes to something when the author screws up the characterisation of his own OCs.