Comments | szaleniec1000: Hogwarts Exposed Chapter 16 part 2

szaleniec1000

Hogwarts Exposed Chapter 16 part 2

Jun 21, 2011 03:40

The ball approaches. More like the load of balls.

( Hogwarts Exposed Chapter 16, continued (NSFW) )

show don't tell, badfic:hogwarts exposed, what do you mean it's not awesome, om nom nom, too much information, department of redundancy department, how do i used tense, it's contrived excuse time!, focal point, i can has characterisation, anvil of foreshadowing, pov!fail, mione my arse, hermione in name only, nudity for everyone, o fortuna moment, incantations do not work that way, harry potter, convention of the psychics, said bookism, harry the pervert, continuity isn't optional

Comments 11

sickbritkid2 June 21 2011, 04:42:45 UTC

"You have quite short dress robes on. I’m concerned if you sit improperly now that you might do so later this evening and give someone a show."

Wow. I'm gonna give myself one second to come up with something more subtle than Neil's foreshadowing abilities.

TIME'S UP!

My answer: A sperm whale in an overhead luggage compartment.

I WIN!!

sickbritkid2 June 21 2011, 08:31:36 UTC

"Caitlin's just this girl who happened to have been randomly victimised by evil!Hooch the nipple-nommer, so for her also to be an exceptional witch strains suspension of disbelief."

Szaleniec, suspension of disbelief was thrown out the window along with our beloved canon characters at the start of this fanfic...

fly_buggy_fly June 21 2011, 12:01:02 UTC

When I first read this post last night, my sleep-adled brain latched on to the very last line, and I heard it in his voice, yeess~

amideadn0w June 21 2011, 13:04:42 UTC

Lil Kim, eat your heart out.

rainbowjehan June 22 2011, 19:58:31 UTC

I love your commentary on this fic -- frankly it's the only thing that makes it bearable -- but every time I click the lj-cut I get a sense of squicky foreboding, as though any second now the Ed Meese commission or some other force for purity is going to come crashing through my door and accuse me of viewing child pornography on my computer.

"But Mr. Meese!" I'll cry. "There's no porn! Just an eleven-year-old and a fifteen-year-old who never wear clothing and are constantly giving the eyeful to their father figures, teachers, fellow students, and many other people who then spontaneously develop erections and nosebleeds! Also, much virginity is bartered about like so much produce at a market! Also--"

And that's as far as I'll get before they haul me off to the Dungeon For Bad People.

szaleniec1000 June 22 2011, 21:26:24 UTC

It might not be legally defined as child porn depending on the law where you live, but that doesn't mean it's not. It's got children in sexual situations and it's written as pornography. It's repulsive on so many levels whether or not there's an actual law against it.

rainbowjehan June 23 2011, 01:50:01 UTC

So, so true. In a way I prefer Deserving -- it's melodramatic and crazy, but at least it doesn't have that weird fetishistic vibe going on. >_>

szaleniec1000 June 23 2011, 09:55:35 UTC

Deserving is a tasteless clusterfuck, but it's an oddly endearing tasteless clusterfuck I don't feel like I need a shower after sporking. Apart from chapters 15, 40 and 48, and even those aren't as bad as the worst of Hogwarts Exposed. And the way it delivers lines like this icon with a perfectly straight face is good for a laugh or ten. In TVTropes terms, it's the difference between So Bad It's Good and So Bad It's Horrible.

Thread 5