Well, this'll be a first.

[syeniess]

You see, it's going to be a very long post. A very long post about this weekend, this funeral and a whole bunch of internal actual emotion stuff that I've been happily crushing for quite some time

Comments

Part I

[grumblesmurf]

Long reply here (that I'm having to split into two because LJ doesn't like me rambling), mainly 'cos you've brought up a number of points I wanted to comment on.

it got me thinking - can you have a secular burial?AFAIK, yes. [fx: Googles] Yup, seems like it (about 2/3 down the page

Part II

[grumblesmurf]

I still don't know what I really want to do in any kind of realistic sense.

Heh. Tell me about it. :) I still don't really know what I want to do and I'm, what, 10 years further on? I might have a better idea of things that I don't want to do by now, but as to what I should be doing I have no clue. And herself isn't any better off either.

I'm sort of hoping that one day it'll just occur to me what I really want to do - and then have it actually be something I can work towards rather than a total pipedream - which currently they all are.

Pipedreams aren't all bad - at least it shows you're thinking (readers may choose to insert their own carefully chosen comments here).

I know the above always really disappointed Grandad. After all, I was 24, why hadn't I got it worked out what I wanted to do yet? Everyone else had, didn't they?Don't count on it. Really

Part III - The larch. The larch.

[grumblesmurf]

But I'm back again, I'm (as expected) working for certain until the next time I risk a lottery ticket, and I'm frustrated in work. I know I don't want to be doing it forever. I'd just like an idea of what to do instead. I'll get there, I guess. Once I've cleared the debt. (then I can afford to have dreams, right? Sad, isn't it?)

Not really. Just makes you (mostly) human. If you want to take this any further and get another perspective on this, give me a shout. I've been through a lot of this crap and have managed to come out the other side without too much permanent scarring... (and if you're worried about phone bills, let me know when you're going to be around and I'll give you a buzz instead).

OK, done rambling. You really shouldn't make these things open when I've got time free enough for thinking. :)

From your cousin, Laura

[anonymous]

Hey dude - I just read your post - Rachel and Mum just landed in California for the weekend as Rachel's moving back to Santa Barbara. The post made me laugh as it reminded me of what our family is about...times tables around the dinner table, not eating (a big one that made me laugh because it just showed how out of place Mum was trying to get everyone to talk!!!), and Grandad - of course. The only time I cried was at the funeral and I just lost it, very unlike me. I miss having a family being so far away and its times like these (very shitty but most of the time people only get together for funerals and weddings I'm told) that make me remember who I am and where I come from. It was really cool reading where you were coming from too but you have to know that I don't know where my life is headed. It is probably the hardest thing being out of school and not knowing what to do next and yes, I'm still interviewing for jobs - blah! Grandad was proud of all five of us as we are all different and all trying to sort out our lives - don'

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[anonymous]

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