Depersona (Part C)

[swshawnee]

Title: Depersona
Pairing: Homin
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst (I'm not kidding), drama, smut, romance
Summary: Yunho & Changmin are estranged after the split, and Yunho finds himself slipping deeper into insanity. Set in 2010.
Wordcount: 17,109
Part A
Part B

Comments

[yunniebaby]

I'm normally awful about leaving comments on things but I just wanted to say thank you for sharing something so personal with us. This was beautifully written and I felt really (almost unnaturally so) connected to your characters. I wish you a steady recovery & once again thanks for sharing :')

*side note: I was wondering how I could have missed such a talented writer in the homin community but I think this is your first piece with the two of them as your main pairing ? I hope to see more from you in the future! ♡

[swshawnee]

It's a little ironic, right-- but I feel very thankful for you saying that you felt connected to the characters. XD

Thanks for all these lovely words, I was seriously expecting everyone to be like "O_O wtf am I reading" when I posted it, so it really means so, so much to me that you liked it. And you're right, this was the first time I wrote homin, but I do love them quite a lot, so I'm sure there'll be more to come!

[mymelodyisyou]

It's beautifully written but so depressing at the same time. It hurts my heart ;_; The angst suits the characters well. It's as if the story is almost real, as if both of them ever experienced it after the lawsuit.
Well, i didn't know that the term 'depersonalization' could be this terrible. And the fact that no known cure for this disease is making it worse. I still can't understand why such a creepy disease exist tho.
Thank you for writing :) hope you'll write more HoMin in the future! I'm starting to be hooked on your writing style and how you let the plot goes. It's nice!

[swshawnee]

I apparently can't stay away from angst for a longer period of time. It's like I live off it. And then I live off putting all of you through it, like a true sadist. :D
No, but seriously, yeah. I don't know why it exists either, but apparently it's supposed to be like a defence mechanism for your brain - like it shuts itself off to not have to deal with stress and other unpleasant feelings. o_O Which is a bad solution, brain, you should stop running from your problems. Take responsibility for yourself!!

Okay, I'm serious again. Having a hard time with it, but trying : D Thanks for your comment, it really means a lot to me that you at all read it, to be honest! Hearts for you! ♥♥

[konna_chan]

hauntingly beautiful :')

[swshawnee]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for giving it a chance, too.

[konna_chan]

i'm surprised it doesn't have more comments, to be honest...

i thought it had a great plot and it was very well written. i see many fics that are badly written and with characters that are... not how i would picture them in those plots but somehow they get really good responses. unfair :/

i really loved this and i don't make comments that often because i don't know what to say exactly (which is why my first comment was two words long =.=) but i thought even if it's a super small one i should say something

[buzbean]

the intense and confusing yunho is experiencing is so horrible
i like that changmin's smile brings the sunshine back into his life and his way back
thank you for sharing

[swshawnee]

We all need a little Changmin-smiles and sunshine, I think, haha.
Thank *you* for reading at all and taking the time to comment!

[whatkindoftea]

First, I just want to awkwardly commend you on being able to write so frankly about something that is so personal and so difficult to explain. Just... wow - it was fantastic. Which is my second comment - this was absolutely fantastic. Even though it seems sort of wrong - I really liked this story. I liked the way you used the lawsuit/split as the trigger and the backdrop for the problems, but it wasn't the focus. The focus is on Yunho and on the relationship between Yunho and Changmin. It really was absolutely fantastic. Also - thank you for posting it all at once??? Because those would have been positively brutal cliff hangers.

This was beautiful, and I love your writing style - such a balance between imagery and action. Thank you so much for sharing this :)

[swshawnee]

Well, you don't need to be awkward, because I really appreciate that so much. I can't even really tell you how much without becoming awkward myself, but just... I really posted this without any hopes, and became so attatched to it, and it means a lot to me that you gave it a chance at all, even. ._.

And then you with your wonderful words ;_; You make me want to... do some riverdancing. ...But I want to keep my limbs, so I shan't. ;_;
Haha, yeah, I wrote about 80% of this fic in one go, so I felt that it should stay as one piece. Just %#)=¤(#=)%/ LJ for not letting me post it in one part, or even 2 parts. Rage. Lots of rage.

But ah, I'm rambling. All I was trying to write from the start was that I really... I'm so thankful to you. This all means more to you than you and the other commenters here think, I.. think. ._. So just, thank you.