Wounds: Temperance

[caelaillu]

 My (just in time) entry for the Seven Heavenly Virtues Challenge. Not very satisfied about this, and I have to admit it was very difficult to write, with Temperance being such an encompassing concept. I might redo this challenge in the future. *shrugs*

the response to this piece surprised me, it really did, and I am thankful for everyone who read

Comments

[little_befu]

Temperance is a bitch. It's so vague in it's very nature. It's abstinence, but not really. It's moderation, but not really.
You did very well though. I think the key point one has to display in Temperance is the ache that comes along with denying needful things. You set that up well, letting us into Alistair's head space then hit us with this bit:
"Alistair had never done anything so hard in his entire life.
He stopped himself from brushing his lips against her brow.
He let her go.
Again."
That "Again." is gorgeously heart-wrenching.
Whoa, this comment got a bit ramble-y, but I could talk about temperance for hours.
So in summary, yay! You did well. ^_^

[caelaillu]

yes, it is a bitch, i referenced your drawing from the former round for temperance to help me out. seeing alistair in templar armor gave me a better idea but it would have been a lot longer and wouldn't make the deadline.

good job on that btw, loved the butts and the boobies XD

thanks for saying i did well when i half-wanted to chuck the whole piece. *sigh* if i had more time, i would have written something else. but thank you so much!

[little_befu]

Oh, pish posh, no one ever thinks they do well. Particularly when they do well. ^_^
You should revisit temperance though. Without the time constraint you'll probably feel more comfortable with it, especially if you already have an idea.
Thanks about my piece. :D T&A for the win!

[femalegamer]

I agree with what others are saying, and really, if you want to work on the longer piece, I'd be happy to link that one in as well. These are intended to be inspirations, not straitjackets.

It's a fine line with Temperance between healthy moderation (versus unhealthy lack of balance and obsession) and being indecisive and lukewarm about everything. Good job.

[nithu]

little_befu said it all, really :) The "Again" makes it all work, very nicely done.

[caelaillu]

aww shucks, thanks so much! really, you have no idea how iffy i am about this piece, and your words help me dispel some of my doubts.

and it's really nice you all like the same part. at least some part of my brain was actually working XD

[silksieve]

This is lovely angst. :D

[caelaillu]

thank you! angsty alistair is kind of my pet right now ^_^ isn't his angsty face so adorable? makes you want to feed him cheese XD

really, thank you. this was a broodmother of a challenge to write, thanks to 'Temperance'

[ladyofshalott06]

Absolutely heart-wrenching.

The best part:

Alistair had never done anything so hard in his entire life.

He stopped himself from brushing his lips against her brow.

He let her go.

Again.

Beautifully done.

[caelaillu]

there's that part again! XD

thank you so much for reading and commenting, I love how I get to talk to the people who read my work here.

really, i cannot stop saying how difficult and iffy this piece was and still is for me. might write an alternate without the deadline looming.

[seren_bach]

I agree with everyone else I think. That "again" was so sad and yet so perfect. Loved this.

[caelaillu]

>.< thank you thank you for reading and commenting.

you guys really make me feel so much better about my writing...to say this piece was wrested from an Ogre's grasp would be an understatement.